She's just had a couple of long conversations on the telephone, I, up high in sky, got to 'ear-wig' both of these calls. The last conversation was riveting because in it.. she discussed her weight.
Now, I know you may be bored to tears about her weight loss but back home on this ranch, which is the only one I live on, it's one of our topics of conversation and so this, is the gist of part of the telephone conversation which took place.
My mama to Faith.. "you know this 'Fat Shaming' thing which has been in the press recently, where complete strangers are rude to people if they think they're grossly overweight, well, why did none of my friends say to me.. "hey, what are you doing? You've gained a huge amount of weight and have become fat AND slow?"
From the other end down near Salisbury there seemed to be a stunned silence. But she's right, nobody said to her "hey, what's up lass", didn't they see that she was turning into a porker? For most certainly, a fat porker she became and today, the exact amount of porkyness was revealed in all its' hideous glory.
Look away or skip this bit if you are of a fragile or sensitive nature..
The size 40 (Italian) trousers she's wearing are too big for her now, she went hunting for trousers that she put into the bottom drawer of the big chest unit in our bedroom. They've been there at least seven years. They were trousers she wore all the time, some in the day, some in the evening, but they had all been well cut and comfortable.
Amongst them was a pair of Wrangler jeans she used to ride in. You may not have ever been on a horse, I haven't but I can tell you that you can't / don't ride in a pair of riding trousers OR jeans if they're too tight, it would be far too uncomfortable. Work it out.
So there were these trousers, packed away with lavender bags and ready to wear, or so she thought.
She climbed out of her cosy leggings and pulled on a pair of daywear trousers, to find, alas and alack, that although she's lost 30 lbs and many inches from around her waist, the trousers did not fit, infact, not only did they not fit, they didn't fit by several inches.. ugh.. gulp.
Tossing them aside, she tried on all the pairs of trousers.. grrr.. to find the only pair that fitted were a pair of linen trousers which had always been a little loose around the waist as 'tight' summer trousers are not 'happy' making things!
So, this lead to her thinking, 'I know that I hated having to retire and being reduced to a medical investigation case but I hadn't realised I was SO unhappy that I gained as much as I have but these trousers tell me I've gained over 40 lbs in weight'.
She was 167.5 lbs when she first weighed in at the end of June and probably weighed about 122 lbs when she was wearing these trousers ALL THE TIME.. which means that she gained about forty five lbs, and as three into one hundred and twenty two goes forty point something.. she gained amost a third of her body weight and nobody 'saw' it?
Hello? Was there no-one there? Apparently not. And she was too miserable to even realise that she was 'unhappily' eating - toast - as if she was still buzzing away hard at her work AND or working away hard at the allotments as before.. when, in fact, she wasn't doing either of those calorie burning occupations!
And that, Dear Readers, is how my slim mama turned into the fat Porker. Thirty down and about another fifteen lbs to go, but I can assure you, she'll wear those trousers.
Now you can look back, I am going to tickle your taste buds with a delicious thing.. yes.. tomorrow I am going to give you the recipe for a wonderful and easy to make pudding, she calls it 'Baked Cream' but it doesn't have a drop of cream in it, she makes it with raw Goaty Milk.
Now, apart from tasting wonderful, this milk is extraordinary in that it is white, 'what's extraordinary about that', I can hear you, 'well, other milks are NOT pure white but this stuff is, so this 'ere pud looks quite dramatic, especially, if you make the sauce out of blackcurrant jam".
Ha.. There.. That got your attention, didn't it? Now you'll just have to wait until tomorrow for I am off to sleep, it's again a veryvery late "goodnight" from the two of us.. chirp.
GeeGee Parrot.
January 13th, 2016.
PostScript: We first published this post on the evening of the 12th, but she realised that she'd miscalculated the percentage of her weight gain, whereas, she now has to lose a quarter.. she gained a third.. are you with us or still adding the numbers together using your fingers and toes?
Now, I know you may be bored to tears about her weight loss but back home on this ranch, which is the only one I live on, it's one of our topics of conversation and so this, is the gist of part of the telephone conversation which took place.
My mama to Faith.. "you know this 'Fat Shaming' thing which has been in the press recently, where complete strangers are rude to people if they think they're grossly overweight, well, why did none of my friends say to me.. "hey, what are you doing? You've gained a huge amount of weight and have become fat AND slow?"
From the other end down near Salisbury there seemed to be a stunned silence. But she's right, nobody said to her "hey, what's up lass", didn't they see that she was turning into a porker? For most certainly, a fat porker she became and today, the exact amount of porkyness was revealed in all its' hideous glory.
Look away or skip this bit if you are of a fragile or sensitive nature..
The size 40 (Italian) trousers she's wearing are too big for her now, she went hunting for trousers that she put into the bottom drawer of the big chest unit in our bedroom. They've been there at least seven years. They were trousers she wore all the time, some in the day, some in the evening, but they had all been well cut and comfortable.
Amongst them was a pair of Wrangler jeans she used to ride in. You may not have ever been on a horse, I haven't but I can tell you that you can't / don't ride in a pair of riding trousers OR jeans if they're too tight, it would be far too uncomfortable. Work it out.
So there were these trousers, packed away with lavender bags and ready to wear, or so she thought.
She climbed out of her cosy leggings and pulled on a pair of daywear trousers, to find, alas and alack, that although she's lost 30 lbs and many inches from around her waist, the trousers did not fit, infact, not only did they not fit, they didn't fit by several inches.. ugh.. gulp.
Tossing them aside, she tried on all the pairs of trousers.. grrr.. to find the only pair that fitted were a pair of linen trousers which had always been a little loose around the waist as 'tight' summer trousers are not 'happy' making things!
So, this lead to her thinking, 'I know that I hated having to retire and being reduced to a medical investigation case but I hadn't realised I was SO unhappy that I gained as much as I have but these trousers tell me I've gained over 40 lbs in weight'.
She was 167.5 lbs when she first weighed in at the end of June and probably weighed about 122 lbs when she was wearing these trousers ALL THE TIME.. which means that she gained about forty five lbs, and as three into one hundred and twenty two goes forty point something.. she gained amost a third of her body weight and nobody 'saw' it?
Hello? Was there no-one there? Apparently not. And she was too miserable to even realise that she was 'unhappily' eating - toast - as if she was still buzzing away hard at her work AND or working away hard at the allotments as before.. when, in fact, she wasn't doing either of those calorie burning occupations!
And that, Dear Readers, is how my slim mama turned into the fat Porker. Thirty down and about another fifteen lbs to go, but I can assure you, she'll wear those trousers.
Now you can look back, I am going to tickle your taste buds with a delicious thing.. yes.. tomorrow I am going to give you the recipe for a wonderful and easy to make pudding, she calls it 'Baked Cream' but it doesn't have a drop of cream in it, she makes it with raw Goaty Milk.
Now, apart from tasting wonderful, this milk is extraordinary in that it is white, 'what's extraordinary about that', I can hear you, 'well, other milks are NOT pure white but this stuff is, so this 'ere pud looks quite dramatic, especially, if you make the sauce out of blackcurrant jam".
Ha.. There.. That got your attention, didn't it? Now you'll just have to wait until tomorrow for I am off to sleep, it's again a veryvery late "goodnight" from the two of us.. chirp.
GeeGee Parrot.
January 13th, 2016.
PostScript: We first published this post on the evening of the 12th, but she realised that she'd miscalculated the percentage of her weight gain, whereas, she now has to lose a quarter.. she gained a third.. are you with us or still adding the numbers together using your fingers and toes?
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