Saturday 26 December 2015

QUICK QUICK, THE CAT'S BEEN SICK. WHERE WHERE? UNDER THE CHAIR. HASTEN HASTEN, FETCH A BASIN. TOO LATE TOO LATE, THE CARPET'S IN A DREADFUL STATE.

Should be said quite quickly and with a certain amount of urgency in the tone of voice.. it never fails to make people laugh.

Where were we.. ah yes, we were off to YumYum HQ to rustle up some scrambled eggs and smoked salmon with which to slake an appalling hunger. (JOKE). So off we went, she rustled it and we both ate it.. jiminy cricket, it sure was good and it reached every part of my featherless tumtum in the most satisfactory way, she looked pretty happy too, although she'd had to do the cooking bit.

Then we lolled about and spoke to people to wish them all manner of polite things, replied to a couple of telephone calls that had came through onto her voice mail whilst we were in the bathroom and made one call to a friend which tendered him nearly speechless after she explained why the widow of a mutual friend was being 'so' nice to her step-daughter, whom we know and adore, we don't 'adore' the widow.

Christopher had started the ball rolling by talking about the beautiful (very large) apartment in the South of France which had been owned by our, sadly deceased, friend for many years before he met 'Cruella'. He said "I don't understand why she hasn't sold it but I must admit, she's being very generous in the amount of time that she allows Elaine and her family to use it".

Oooh.. she squealed with laughter, choked, spluttered, Christopher said "are you ok?", she managed to compose herself, but was still chuckling when she replied "You've got it the wrong way round Chris darling.. it's Elaine who is being very generous, for it is.. drum roll.. Elaine's apartment".

There was this silence before he said "say that again", so she explained in words of one syllable that Russell had given the French property and its' contents to his daughter and her two children (both of whom are grown-up with children of their own) before he married 'Cruella', and regarding the rest of his estate in France under Code Napoleonic, the widow only gets a certain percentage if there are children.

"Gordon Bennett" said Christopher, "that does explain a lot of things! You know she turned up blind drunk to Claudia's wedding and fell onto the cake".. she replied "I cannot lie, Russell's grandson sent me a photo of her being 'extracted' from the poor squashed cake by Elaine's cousin, Claudia must have been 'a bit upset', especially as they hadn't even cut it yet".

Dear Readers, you can have an amazing amount of fun and laughter when you least expect it! She'd forgotten abut 'Cruella' falling onto the wedding cake, she'd flattened it apparently, causing it and her having to be removed forthwith.

But she did do some serious stuff today, apart from rustling up YumYum, she 'tackled' the back room, aka Bruce's bedroom, for he arrives tomorrow to stay for a few days. She made the bed, dusted the sideboard and his bedside table and vacuumed, changed the lightbulb and went to shut the door.. ugh.. what was that?

Well, it couldn't be watercress puree, could it? "UGH, you disgusting red-arsed-happy-crapper, you've been sitting on top of that door, haven't you?" .. true, I am guilty of this crime milord, she goes out and I get bored, so I flap about a bit and find a comfy wide door on which to perch and have you ever seen an African Grey Parrot wearing nappies? No, I thought not.

So she set to cleaning the back of the door and the carpet and NOW, unless you're fast asleep, you'll remember the title of this post..

Cheerio folks, talking of nappies makes me think of knickers, she's got a very splendid tale to tell you about knickers that's a WW2 (world war 2) classic, so we'll be back and apart from 'knickers', we've a tale to tell you all about Rosebud.

GeeGee Parrot.
Boxing Day.
December 26th, 2015.

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