Saturday 12 December 2015

OUR COURTYARD'S AS EMPTY AS A WITCHES TIT..

Gone, everything has gone. We woke up early and ate our eggs, I knew there was something going 'on' as she was a 'trifle' sombre. She dressed in jeans and a t.shirt, gave me a kiss and shut me in the bedroom.. Huh.. "Squeak! Squeak, telephone noise ting-a-ling-a-ling", nothing worked, I was still on the wrong side of the closed door.

I heard all manner of strange noises, then her talking, she was apologising to the Fairy who lived in the Cherry tree, all trees have a resident fairy, and she explained that Cherry tree had to be killed and why and on whose orders.. meany Freeholders.

She sawed Cherry tree in half.. you cannot possibly imagine how horrid she felt doing such a thing for she loves trees and this little Flowering Cherry was a cutie-pie. She promised Cherry Fairy that she'll plant another at the allotment.

Before you all scream "Murderer" at her, she'd tried everyone and every way to get this tree taken away to a garden but it was too big to transport and she wasn't able to move it up the steps as the pot the tree was in was too big and heavy.

Ossie arrived with an empty van at 1.30pm and all the orange trees and pots squeeezed into the back, she gave him her power jet with which she used to keep the steps clean for the draconian order from the Freeholder states "the steps and area are the property of the freeholder, you are not allowed to put anything into area nor are you allowed to use any water out there".

Good..she thought.. YOU can get your idle cleaners to keep the area and the steps clean. YOU can make sure the rubbish is picked up after the dustmen drop it. YOU can wash out the dustbins once a werk. YOU can make sure that grit and salt are put on the steps in winter to stop the dustmen, residents and visitors slipping on icy steps and if YOU don't.. Environmental Health will be informed immediately.

'Don't get mad, get even'.. a great line which came from the wonderfully funny film The First Wives Club.

So there we are.. with a sterile bare space outside our front door but not for long, for she has a trick up her sleeve that will make even the driest 'wit' amongst our Dear Readers smile.. No, certainly not, I'm not telling you what it is until she's done it.

But here are some clues.. it involves imagination, jigsaw, paint and a piece of wood.

PipPip.. time for our very late lunch.. FlapFlap to YumYum HQ I must go.. PipPip.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 12th, 2015.

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