FOR KAREN & HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL WHEREVER YOU MAY BE.

Ah, dear Karen, she's another very dear Dear Reader who certainly deserves a medal or a chocolate Salami! For she's also be reading my blog right from the get-go and keeps us up to date with her life. Some of the photos of Karen and Bob's jaunt through very rural areas of France last year on a tandem left her mouth open.

This morning we received two photos, one of her and her husband at the Red Flannel Party taken just after Christmas, she's wearing an elegant 'gown', such a pretty name for an evening dress, and the second photo is of the two of them on skis.. standing in a good depth of snow.

OH-HOHO, we haven't had snow in London for ages, there's no snow in Ottawa where Joe reports it to be 17c and there certainly wasn't any in the Italian Alps at Christmas time either, for BUB reported that Turin Airport was packed with people fleeing from green grassy slopes!

Karen had Dharma, who was her beloved dog that died this winter, oi vey Karen, we know how you both miss him. Karen has a 'past'.. most certainly.. she works, she's married and had her own family.. that's your past.. are you beginning to 'gettit', our lovely anonymous friend who lives elsewhere in America?

One of the nicest compliments she received within the last four years was from Susannah, who said "do you know ..., you've really opened my eyes, we take our families so much for granted and when 'it' happens.. then we think about something else / do something else but our lives are what other people's biographies are written about, not every day is full of 'daring do' but some of it is incredibly funny and if you don't jot things down, they get lost in time, so I'm going to start writing a journal".. and she did and still does.

So this is an open "Thank you" to you Dear Readers, to those of you whom I know and those of you that I don't know, to those of you who live in far-away lands and to those of you who live upstairs, you know who you are!

To those of you who read my blog in English and to those of you who take the trouble and have to resort to an English dictionary from time-to-time.. "thank you for reading my blog and as this is the last night of 2015"..

"We wish a lot of things for various folks around the world but our main wish is for 'PEACE ON EARTH & GOODWILL TO ALL MEN'.."

GeeGee Parrot.
December 31st, 2015.

AND IT CAME TO PASS THAT THIS WOMAN, WHO WE MIGHT ADD IS BEAUTIFUL, IS MARRIED! HAS BROUGHT UP THREE CHILDREN! HAS SEVERAL GRAND-CHILDREN, HAS FRIENDS, DOES STUFF.. BUT.. SHE HAS 'NO' PAST TO TALK ABOUT.. EXCUSE ME.. BUT WHAT A LOT OF BALDERDASH.

My mum has done lots and continues to do lots but nothing as seriously amazing as what.. you don't know who.. has done. Nope, you ain't getting her name 'cos she's shy. And, we have to 'play real nice' to nice folk, especially to those nice folk who own up / confess openly to reading this 'ere blog!

And this extremely nice woman has been reading my blog right from the start, we should give her a medal for perseverance.

Doing stuff makes or builds your past, being a mother or a lover or a wife or even none of the before mentioned (as opposed to the above mentioned) also makes you have a past and, you're someone's child so you had a childhood, a happy one we hope, and your parents had parents and backwards you go.. whoosh, back down the slope as far back as you can go.. into THE PAST!

Which is why BUB and my mama are doing the tracing of their family. Because, of course, the only difference being he is the son of Robert and she is the daughter of Constance who were brother and sister but before that, all their relatives were the same.. gettit? It ain't hard, you just have to read it slowly.

So EVERYONE has a past.. unless you a person from outer space!

And, IF you have children.. PLEASE try and get down on paper as many details of your family and your partner's family as possible. You may think that your kids won't be interested, they may not be because you're right there infront of them but your grandchildren will certainly be, for only if you're veryvery lucky will you see your grandchildren grow up to be adults.

So get yourself a roll of lining wallpaper and starting at the open end with yourself, you write down what you know about whom you know going backwards in lineage and time. And jot down anything different or interesting beside that person.

She discovered that one of her God-Fathers did something that earned him 'something' in the way of a military something but AFTER WW2, it was classified for 60 years and has just been de-classified, so she is off to the PRO at Kew, which is where de-classified information is able to be viewed by the public, to find out what is was for. She has a vague idea what it might be to do with as Hugo was highly decorated for something during the Malay Emergency.

Is she nosy, undoubtedly! And she'll be writing to Simone, his widow, Simone, about it. Is he part of her past, most certainly, for it was he, who was such a lovely man, who took her to Prunier's Fish restaurant in St. James's!

She came home with such a load of SWAG today.. all worthy of its' own post! But our next post is about and for Karen, another very dear Dear Reader.. it'll make Joe jealous, she's been cross-country skiing and we've seen the photo of the snow, lying very deep and crisp and even.

So we're going from one part of America to another.. whoosh.. PipPip..

GeeGee Parrot.
December 31st, 2015.
PostScript: PRO stands for Public Records Office.

FEROCIOUS FRANK.. BUB'S JOURNEY HOME & NOTIFICATION OF 2 COMING POSTS..

They arrived at Victoria Station and having waved his rail ticket at the barrier, he passed through onto Platform 13 for the Gatwick Express. She'd asked him if he wanted the keys to the flat just incase the flight didn't leave. They had both seen the weather report about a storm called Frank heading to the UK.

"No, I'll be ok, with my travel insurance they have to put me up for the night and feed me if the flight is cancelled or greatly delayed, I'll be fine thanks" so off he went and you know she came home via MBE (MailBoxEtc) and picked up Skinny, as he's now known.

Note 1: Please read previous post to find out who Skinny is.

Last night, she sent an e:mail saying how much we'd had enjoyed having him to stay and thanked him for the goodies that he'd brought her.. no, nothing suitable for me I'm sad to say, but as I had only met him once before when Bad Beaky disgraced himself and me, by giving his right hand a nip, it's no wonder there wasn't anything pour moi!

She woke early this morning to find a response from BUB, the Gatwick Express had not been an express train because of planned engineering works but it had, eventually, got him to the airport.

His 17.00 hours flight to Douglas, Isle of Man was cancelled, he was put up for the night in a hotel, they took off yesterday morning getting to within 10 miles of the island, which is in the middle of the Irish Sea between Northern Ireland and the UK mainland, but the cross winds were too strong and they were turned back to Gatwick. They took off again yesterday afternoon at 15.30 and he landed safely to tell his tale.

Having flown 'a bit' in very small aircraft and landed a few times, she knows the sequence of events which happen when you, a pilot, are on 'final approach' and unless you're landing on a bush strip or a daylight only airstrip, the proceedure is the same the world over.

Note 1: One of the 'trickiest' small airports to land at in Europe is La Mole, at 15k it is the nearest airport to St.Tropez. The crosswinds are so strong that the pilots bring their light aircraft in at an angle knowing the crosswind will correct them at certain height and they'll land safely. This airfield was originally built in 1964 as a airstrip for a local family, extended in 1995, it takes light aircraft and small jets only as the runway is extremely short.

So he's home safely but now has to work like a dervish, for today is December 31st and he's got that massive job to print.

Now, it's been brought to our attention by a very Dear Reader that she doesn't think she has a 'PAST'. HUH. No, I'm not going to name her 'cos she's a 'bit' shy but my next post will be an open letter to her AND to the rest of you, my Dear Readers, who don't think their / your / lives are worth recording for children or your grand children. And.. you most certainly don't have to have a pet of any description to make 'your' life worthwhile.

For your children and other people's children / OR your lives are and can be as: amusing, amazing, astonishing and astounding and those are only words beginning with A..

Now, Dear Readers, you know she doesn't have children for whom she has to collate / tell tales of hers and their ancestors but she does have an extraordinary desire to write, for when you've spent much of your life slightly disconnected from other people by being extremely deaf.. animals and books.. aka the written word, are, for most of the time, your dearest friends.

She's going out, to the Library for a new supply of reading matter, hummus for me and 'easy-peels'. Then she'll come back and write two more posts, yes folks, it's a three post day today for Karen's also getting a post, 'cos Karen's got snow! She went to the Red Flannel Party and was sweet enough to send photos, of the snow and her with her Bob, both I might say, looking mighty swish!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 31st, 2015.
Postscript: She'll 'cruise' by the fresh fish counter at that supermarket she visited on Christmas Eve with Shirley, for tomorrow is another holiday and this store will be closed. There won't be any fresh fish until, hopefully, Tuesday, why?

Well, due to Ferocious Frank, there has been no fishing off our coast, so Billingsgate Fish Market won't be dealing with 'locally' sourced wet fish until sea fishing resumes in the near Atlantic, English Channel, the Irish or North Seas.

HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT HE'D GOT NO HOME, BUT HE WAS SAFE INSIDE MAILBOXETC & THEY WERE CLOSED!

She'd been told by Michele and Pete that 'something' was going into the post for her on December 22nd and normally, it would have got to her, except that MailBoxEtc closed on the 23rd.. and didn't re-open again until yesterday.

So she hot-fotted it to the shop to pick the item up. It was stiff and padded, she sat on the kitchen sink, I think it's her favourite perch and set about opening it with sharp scissors.

There were multiple layers of protective wrapping, a layer of Christmas paper, followed by another layer of cardboard, "whatever it is is very skinny GeeGee" she said as she found a layer of foam and then all was revealed..

It IS very skinny and very fragile.. for what it is, is an African Grey parrot made out of stained glass and lead, like an old church window. There's the beak, the wings, our funny feet and our scarlet tail with a tiny hook with which to hang him.. yes.. he's male, for a male parrot's head is a different shape to a female's.

He went up immediately on a wall in YumYum HQ and the next thing she did, was to write a proper "Thank you" note to these old friends, so THAT'S why she had to scamper up the steps to catch the afternoon post yesterday and why she was only able to tell you about what was in the package after she'd thanked them verbally again today.

He has come from Kenya, he's a Kasuku, which is Swahili for Parrot. He's a very handsome fellow and she's taken a photo of the two of us, me on Goosie Head and him hanging on the wall. I don't look quite as fine as I should, because plucked tumtum with bald bits ain't a good look, but as he's in perfect feather (the wretch), I'd better stop tweaking out my clothes and let my lacy drawers and vest grow back again!

How sweet is that, I ask you (and ourselves)? We are very touched as he's a mighty fine addition to our household.

"Asante sana Michele and Pete".

GeeGee Parrot.
December 30th, 2015.

SHE CAME HOME ALONE.. MY 'BUB' HAS FLOWN AWAY.. Part four.

When they left this morning and Uncle Bruce said "bye-bye birdie', I didn't realise he was leaving.. like going home to his home.. sigh. Never mind, perhaps he will come back in the Summer, he had to go back as he has 3,500 cards to print for the Isle of Man Post Office, they're to celebrate the Chinese New Year which is happening in January.

It is going to be the Year of the Monkey.. MY year! Yes, I'm a monkey and this means that I'll be twelve this year.. twelve.. almost a teenager! Gulp, my mama looked a trifle nervous when she realised this, especially as all teenagers are known to be slightly 'tricky', are they not?

She did something awful today, you know he had got blisters on his blisters from walking, well, she turned the wrong way out of London Bridge Station at midday and they walked four sides of the big square, ie a veryvery long way, to get to Borough Market, which is less than five minutes walk if you come out the right way.

He had the blisters PLUS his bag.. bad mama.. and, to cap her stupidity, the Goaty folk weren't there! She'd read the goaty website information incorrectly and thought they'ed be there today.. BUB and the Goaty mum are friends.. they had to make do with a pit stop for lunch, then go back underground to get him to Victoria Station where he had a train to catch to Gatwick for his flight home to the Isle of Man.

She's come home to strip his bed, wash his sheets and whilst they're in the machine, she went to collect a package from MailBoxEtc. "Oooh GeeGee.. LOOK! That's probably the most wonderful Christmas gift we've ever had", she wrote a 'thank you' note, put a first class stamp on it and then scampered out of the flat and up the stairs to catch the afternoon's post.

Presents of this magnitude are not acknowledged by e:mail.. oh, no. Thought and love and friendship have gone into the purchase of this gift.. it's brilliant.

What else is or was brilliant was the jaunt that she and BUB took yesterday. Bruce, clever sleuth that he is, had found out that their great aunt Constance (after whom her mother is named) and Ambrose, the father of this great aunt, are buried in the churchyard of Holy Trinity Church, Northwood.

First find Holy Trinity church.. they took a train from Baker Street and went overland towards Amersham and after gambling that it was Northwood they wanted and not Northwood Hills, they got off and were greatly helped by a man who called his wife, she, bless her, knew exactly where Trinity church was and was able to direct them on a 20 - 25 minute walk.. hence BUB's blisters upon the existing blister.

They arrived at a small old church, surrounded by a neat and tidy graveyard which was full of graves! They hazarded a guess and started off on the left hand side, mama walking a different route to her cousin and after about ten minutes, she was trying to decipher some lettering when she looked across a grave to see Amb... M.... Hoop..! Eureka.. "Bruce, I've found them" and there, sure enough, were Constance Jane Hooper and Ambrose Miller Hooper.

They stood together and looked at the grave, after many years of probably no-one from the family being there, it felt strange (but a good strange) to know they were standing in exactly the same place that Ambrose and his wife, Constance, had stood when they buried their only daughter, Constance Jane, in 1902 and where, of course, Frederick Ehmed, (known as FE) Ambrose's son and his fiancée Florence (Flo) Shiel and Constance had stood when they buried Ambrose in 1907.

FE and Flo married four months after his father's death and went out to Madras. Constance, his widowed mother, remained in England.

The hunt's now on for George Hooper, FE's brother. BUB thinks that he may have been the family member who lived up on the Shropshire / Welsh border, for that's where Robert aka Bob, his father and his two siblings spent a lot of time.

All three children, Leslie 1908, Robert aka Bob (BUB's father) 1910 and Constance (my mama's mother) 1917 were born in Madras, they each came to England at the age of six to be educated and only saw their parents every four years when they sailed home. (NO air flights in those days).

I hope that you've worked out that she didn't meet her two brothers until she was six and brought back to England by her mother.. Leslie was then fifteen and Bob was thirteen, a great deal older than a little six year old girl!

They were ALL sent to strict boarding schools, the boys to Marlborough College where FE had gone and Constance to St.Margaret's, Birchington, Kent and they didn't return 'home' to India until they were grown-up.

Their holidays were spent in Norfolk with their mother's sister who was married to a Vicar, up on the Welsh borders with a Hooper relative.. perhaps George? And one (ghastly) holiday per year had to be spent with the 'Witch'.. their incredibly strict Grandmother, the widowed Constance.

OI VEY.. I tell you, Dear Readers, that she, even with her very strict parents, shivers at the way her mother and her two uncles were 'brought' up..

Anyway, the grave needs attention and she'll be off to meet the Canon, who is the person with whom she has to speak..

So there you are and here she is.. with a machine load of ironing to do tomorrow. Christmas is over, she's got a mass of work to do but cannot do any of it until Wizard comes to build the inside storage units of the secret stashroom. So next up is New Year's Eve.. 2016 and The Year of the Monkey.

What sign are you in the Chinese Astrological Calender? To be precise, I'm a Wooden Monkey and she's a Metal Tiger, we're supposed to be mortal enemies. But she is not her parent's child for nothing and she's strict, however, she's softer with me than with people, she learnt as a young child with the family's pets that you must 'bend', be less strict and to remember that I, like all her animals, have a spirit which must never be broken.

I love her, she's 'mama', she always puts my well-being before hers, we are.. the two of us.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 29th, 2015.

BIG BRUCE'S RESOLUTIONS. To keep or not to keep..Part three.

Dear Readers.. tonight I am giving over the writing of my blog to my big Uncle Big Bruce, whose name will become obvious shortly.. she didn't think he'd write it until tomorrow morning but he must have read Private Eye really quickly and so the following post is written by him, in my kind-of-style.. read on, Dear Readers, read on.

He is staying with us, as you know, on a stopover having spent Christmas with his brother and his family in Italy before flying back to the Isle of Man. (I've mentioned him before, he does stuff with ribbons.. The Little Printed Ribbon Company, yes, that Cousin Bruce.)

Sorry, I digress, he's writing on my blog to celebrate our birthday, yes, Dear Readers, we've been 'on Air' so to speak for four years, can you believe it? And in that time we have shared many stories, recipes and the odd parrot rant! Which we hope you have all enjoyed reading, eating and ranting along with with her and me!

Now Big Bruce is so called because he is.. well.. BIG.. and his name is.. Bruce. He tells me that he was quite svelte and a bit of a looker. (Not anymore folks). You see for many years he smoked (kids, don't even think about starting), which was / is a disgusting habit.

And then one day, he stopped! But on went the lbs - he is six stone heavier (a stone is 14lbs), he is a behemoth of a man standing 6 feet 2 inches tall in old money.

Well, it has come to his attention that certain photographs taken during the Christmas festivities do not show him in a very good light. In fact, he is blocking out a lot of the light. This brings me to the subject of my blog.. thank goodness, at last, I hear you cry! He has said he must do something about his weight.

As you know, she has done extremely well of late with her dieting and is now looking fabulous. So Big Bruce is making a New Year resolution to try to lose a lot of the six stone he put on, but we all know how quickly resolutions are broken, so I have agreed, reluctantly, that we will monitor his progress through this year on this blog, aka.. my blog.

I say reluctantly because the two of us did not get off to the best start when we first met. His hand got caught in Beaky (HeeHee). But I've forgiven him. So here's to him getting a 'little'.. hopefully a lot.. trimmer and slimmer through the year and we'll all cheer him on, won't we! Watch my Beaky and repeat after me.. yes, GeeGee, we WILL cheer him on.

He's now in bed, big woofter that he is, he's got blisters on his blisters from the walking that he did today, she.. aka my mama did the same amount of walking but is made of tougher stuff, as you would be if you'd had Constance as your mother, so we'll have to let him be!

And tomorrow, we'll tell you about the trip that Big Bruce and she took to Northwood.

Shush.. big grown men asleep.. nighty-night.. Dear Readers.. sleep tight.. Hush.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 28th, 2015.
PostScript: With the odd tweak from us.. me and her.. most of this post was written by BUB! Ahha.. that's a splendid name for him.. it stands for B for BIG, 'cos he is, U for Uncle, 'cos he's bigger than most second cousins and B for Bruce, 'cos that's his name! Oh and I'm a poet but didn't know it.

COUSIN BRUCE, WHOM I CALL UNCLE BRUCE 'COS HE'S BIGGER THAN ME.. Part two.

Well, they went out early and came back late but had such an amazing day.. I'm not going to tell you about it because he, Bruce, has told mama he'll write a post for my blog tonight and we'll have it to put onto my blog tomorrow morning.

They had an extraordinary time, that much I can tell you, and after having travelled for about half an hour from central London, they stood in the place that their great grandparents stood, over a hundred years ago and that doing so, it had made Constance and Ambrose seem more 'real'..  of course, they knew them to be real, otherwise neither of them would be who they are but their family's past doesn't seem so distant any longer.

But it's late and we're in bed. They stopped off on the way home to buy YumYum at the wonderful food hall in Selfridges, smoked trout, oooh, a favourite of mine, and other delicious things. Their pudding was a Pocket Coffee, a box of which was one of the goodies he brought us, it is fresh from Piedmont, near Alba, near to where Bruce was staying with Steve, his brother, and Francesca, Steve's wife, which is where Ferrara Rocher make their chocolate delights, which ARE, veryvery, delightful!

So it's "goodnight" from us all, Bruce, mama and me until tomorrow. I do hope that he doesn't spend too long reading Private Eye magazine and that he writes the post for us tonight, so she'll be able to put it on my blog tomorrow morning?

We can only hope and wish, can't we?

GeeGee Parrot.
December 28th, 2015.

HE'S HERE! MY BIG UNCLE BRUCE (LADEN WITH GOODIES!) Part one.

Yes, he is staying with us for a couple of days but it's too late now to write a post about what they've got up to since he arrived. However, we've invited him to be a guest writer on my blog to celebrate the start of the fifth year.

So goodnight folks, we.. Bruce and I, will be back to write on my blog tomorrow, so it's goodnight to you all from Bruce, me and her.

"Good night everyone".

GeeGee Parrot.
December 27th, 2015.

GEEGEE PARROT'S BLOG'S 4th BIRTHDAY.. YES, MY BLOG IS 4 YEARS OLD TODAY..

How about that? Not one of you guessed the significance of December 27th!

Sometimes, I do think that most of you are fast asleep when you read about my exploits of 'daring-do' but then, now and again, we get, for all of MY mail goes through HER hands, a postcard, a telephone call or an e:mail with a reference to something I've written that shows.. yippee.. you're awake!

But how about this folks.. four years! Who knew that I'd still be wittering on about 'the price of eggs' and other such important things, plus the stuff I continually amaze, amuse, astonish and astound you with? Not her, that's for sure, but I am like the genie in the bottle, having been let out, it'll be impossible to put me back in.. aka silence me.

Silence! Huh, she'd have been happy with a bit of that yesterday but oh no, for I was happyhappy and was in 'land-line ringing mode' and perched up high infront of the front door, I rang and rang just like Mr. BT's best and so true was my ring that she missed a call from Fanny, a dear friend who lives on the Spanish island of Mallorca.

And it wasn't until much later that she saw a light flashing on the land-line unit, she dialed 1471 and it told her that a Spanish number had called.

They met when they were eight at Penderel School in Tenterden, Kent, but after her family moved to Sandwich, the other side of Kent, they didn't see each other for a veryvery long time.

Many years ago, she had 'humoured' a friend by joining Friends Reunited and received emails from long-lost friends around the world but there was one to which she replied saying "I'm sorry but you've got the wrong ..... for I don't recognise your name", she must have been on line, for she received an immediate response saying "ahhhh, of course, but you know Fanny ......!"

The years vanished as she 'saw' this friend and responded immediately with her telephone number.

Fanny came to stay and brought with her an truly amazing gift. It was in a long skinny tube, a black and white school photo taken at the end of the Summer term 1959 at Penderel and there were the faces of.. Jenny Ross, Rosemary Scott, Margaret Jenner, Janet Yates (known as Janty, who is an Oscar winning ~ Gladiators ~ costume designer and other girls she hasn't thought of more many a year.

A couple of months later, she went to stay with Fanny in Dorset.

Note: Penderel no longer exists and Fanny, the very clever person that she is, had managed to track down the company who had taken the school photos!

It is truly amazing how different people's lives can be, isn't it?

Fanny was seriously 'bright' and had an incredible career, her last job being head of fundraising for one of the UK's most important charities, the RNLI. You may not know what these initials stand for but I can tell you, that the thousands of people whose lives have been saved by this charity do, they stand for.. DRUMROLL.

                                     ROYAL NATIONAL LIFEBOAT INSTITUTION

Yes, folks, it's a Charity and they go out to sea in all manner of weather, it operates 24/7/365 & 366.

Fanny made the decision to retire, sold her house and almost everything except for a few precious bits and went to live on the Balearic island of Mallorca / Majorca. She speaks and writes perfect Spanish and is an active and fully intergrated member of the town Paguera. She's been there, gosh, is it ten years already?

Mama called her back but got the ansaphone, she left a message, Fanny returned her call, they spoke for a long tim, "when are you coming here? I may not come to England this year and it's been too long, the only time the spare room is booked is at Easter time, please come" and I heard my mama repond "I'll come this Spring Fanny, that would be lovely, I'll renew my passport and come".

Well, that means a trip to jail in the aviary for me, but as she hasn't been anywhere since July 2008, I guess she's due for a bit of fun in the sun, don't you?

Fanny has done some work editing for a writer who lives almost next door to her and this brings me full circle back to my first ever post on December 27th, 2011, on which I wrote about having the freedom to write exactly what I wanted to, without someone editing my words but life's like this and that, it's always full of surprises.

Enjoy your life today, we've got BIG Cousin Bruce arriving from Italy today. What fun!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 27th, 2015.

QUICK QUICK, THE CAT'S BEEN SICK. WHERE WHERE? UNDER THE CHAIR. HASTEN HASTEN, FETCH A BASIN. TOO LATE TOO LATE, THE CARPET'S IN A DREADFUL STATE.

Should be said quite quickly and with a certain amount of urgency in the tone of voice.. it never fails to make people laugh.

Where were we.. ah yes, we were off to YumYum HQ to rustle up some scrambled eggs and smoked salmon with which to slake an appalling hunger. (JOKE). So off we went, she rustled it and we both ate it.. jiminy cricket, it sure was good and it reached every part of my featherless tumtum in the most satisfactory way, she looked pretty happy too, although she'd had to do the cooking bit.

Then we lolled about and spoke to people to wish them all manner of polite things, replied to a couple of telephone calls that had came through onto her voice mail whilst we were in the bathroom and made one call to a friend which tendered him nearly speechless after she explained why the widow of a mutual friend was being 'so' nice to her step-daughter, whom we know and adore, we don't 'adore' the widow.

Christopher had started the ball rolling by talking about the beautiful (very large) apartment in the South of France which had been owned by our, sadly deceased, friend for many years before he met 'Cruella'. He said "I don't understand why she hasn't sold it but I must admit, she's being very generous in the amount of time that she allows Elaine and her family to use it".

Oooh.. she squealed with laughter, choked, spluttered, Christopher said "are you ok?", she managed to compose herself, but was still chuckling when she replied "You've got it the wrong way round Chris darling.. it's Elaine who is being very generous, for it is.. drum roll.. Elaine's apartment".

There was this silence before he said "say that again", so she explained in words of one syllable that Russell had given the French property and its' contents to his daughter and her two children (both of whom are grown-up with children of their own) before he married 'Cruella', and regarding the rest of his estate in France under Code Napoleonic, the widow only gets a certain percentage if there are children.

"Gordon Bennett" said Christopher, "that does explain a lot of things! You know she turned up blind drunk to Claudia's wedding and fell onto the cake".. she replied "I cannot lie, Russell's grandson sent me a photo of her being 'extracted' from the poor squashed cake by Elaine's cousin, Claudia must have been 'a bit upset', especially as they hadn't even cut it yet".

Dear Readers, you can have an amazing amount of fun and laughter when you least expect it! She'd forgotten abut 'Cruella' falling onto the wedding cake, she'd flattened it apparently, causing it and her having to be removed forthwith.

But she did do some serious stuff today, apart from rustling up YumYum, she 'tackled' the back room, aka Bruce's bedroom, for he arrives tomorrow to stay for a few days. She made the bed, dusted the sideboard and his bedside table and vacuumed, changed the lightbulb and went to shut the door.. ugh.. what was that?

Well, it couldn't be watercress puree, could it? "UGH, you disgusting red-arsed-happy-crapper, you've been sitting on top of that door, haven't you?" .. true, I am guilty of this crime milord, she goes out and I get bored, so I flap about a bit and find a comfy wide door on which to perch and have you ever seen an African Grey Parrot wearing nappies? No, I thought not.

So she set to cleaning the back of the door and the carpet and NOW, unless you're fast asleep, you'll remember the title of this post..

Cheerio folks, talking of nappies makes me think of knickers, she's got a very splendid tale to tell you about knickers that's a WW2 (world war 2) classic, so we'll be back and apart from 'knickers', we've a tale to tell you all about Rosebud.

GeeGee Parrot.
Boxing Day.
December 26th, 2015.

DECEMBER 27TH IS TOMORROW.. SO I'M COUNTING.. ONE POTATO TWO POTATOES..

You're all going to feel veryvery foolish, yes, you are, I won't classify you as silly-billies but ohhoho it's going to be close! What am I wittering on about? I'm wittering about tomorrow being this highly significant date and not one of you has got it right yet! Huh.

Where's Jack Frost? It's wet, warm and dismal outside today here in deepest Knightsbridge, the weather has been dreadful all over the world, with horrifying tornadoes causing multiple deaths and destruction across several of American States. Typhoons in the Far East and un-precented rainfall here in the UK.

There are flies out there, in December! So now you see why I want Old Mister Frosty, for flies flying around and about in the first month of winter is not good. We rely upon Winter with its' chill factor for dormancy for plants. And yet, there are Daffodils growing in England, which should, by rights, be fast asleep until the middle of Spring.. a good three months away!

And, I have seen slugs.. ugh.. another reason for Jack to be scattering his icy stuff around and about! All these creatures should be fast asleep and deep in the soil. Poor worms, they're still higher up than they should be, which is all very well but IF old man Winter and Jack do come along and freeze us up, they'll be caught out and killed.

Worms are vital, don't squish your face up like that for the wind might turn and you'll be stuck with that silly expression on your face forever, there's a whole lot going on under the surface of the earth that most of us, her included, don't know about.

Thank heaven (and earth) for The Natural History Museum in South Kensington. For it doesn't just contain dry bones of pre-historic animals but everything that isn't man made. The name tells you all about it.. natural history.. and there are people working there who are constantly finding out 'new' old stuff.

Go and be prepared to be amazed.. go and visit a different section each time.. GO.. and if you can't come to our museum, find your own country's equivalent and go.. often.. to that one. Become a Member, it will cost you MUCH less than the cost of one, yes one, Starbuck's coffee per week!

Does that surprise you?

People often ask her "what do you do when you're not working the allotment, doing voluntary work etc?".. she replies "I'm a strange breed of culture vulture, I love the British Library, the V&A, the ESU (English Speaking Union), The Royal Palace Collection (this gives you access to six different locations in London), all of which I am a member /  friend, I go to their exhibitions and the permanent displays all the time, I go to lectures, on trips, use their restaurants and Member's Rooms when I'm in them, we're spoilt in London and I take advantage of as much of these treasures as I can".

She's asked "Isn't it expensive to belong to all these places".. she counts them out.. "it costs me £180.00 a year plus the odd thing I may pay for at the ESU, if you pay for ONE coffee a week at Starbucks that costs you £2.40.. times 52 weeks.. £124.80. Throw in a brownie or a muffin at £1.50 and your bill is £3.90.. times 52 weeks.. £202.80. I'd rather drink my own, better coffee, and pay for an ANNUAL membership to these four incredible institutions and learn or see something amazing".

"And, I get to take a guest in with me.. I took Ann to see The Fabric of India on the Friends Opening Day.. her 'Thank you' card, written and posted out the next day said it all.. "how wonderful, what an amazingly eye opening thing to have seen", I love having my eyes opened and these places do it".

But here we are, it's Boxing Day here in the UK, theoretically, it is a National Holiday but I think the shops are open, not the sensible ones but the West End stores will all have either on-line or in-store sales going on.. I think she'll stay at home, too wet and no transport to futz with allotments today but there is the subject of Bruce's bedroom to be addressed.. ah-ha.

So, we are now getting up, we were late to bed last night what with overseas calls to make and then responding to cheeky electronic letters which came winging their way through the air.

Fast breaking food awaits, oh, slurpy-durpy. Smoked Salmon with Scrambled Eggs is MY choice, what was yours. You know what Clint said "make my day", wel, eggs and fish will do just that, it'll make my day.

GeeGee Parrot.
Boxing Day.
December 26th, 2015.

A PARENT'S COURAGE WHEN FACED WITH THEIR CHILD IN ICU.

We bang on a bit, don't we? I mean she's always slipping bits into my blog about if you love someone how you must tell them and show it.. well, many months ago she was being swamped by everyone else's friends on FaceBook, so after telling them what had happened, she 'unfriended' her friends and never went back onto it.

So she didn't know what had transpired.. she sent our friend LuLu, not her real name but as she answers to it, it must be acceptable to her, an email saying "oi, has the cat got your tongue, what's amiss, no news for ages from you".. and, if you've got a sixth sense, you'll know what's coming.

She got a reply almost immediately with the following tale of horror.. saying that because she wasn't on FaceBook and because both parents were frantic with worry, she hadn't had the energy or time to write or telephone us with gruesome news.. this gruesome news.

That LuLu's and Tom's only child, a glorious creature called Nora, who had stayed with us and been the best guest ever, had returned to NYC from Bali, where she employs local Silversmiths to make her line of silver jewellery ~ PDB ~ had started to feel and then be unwell.

'Unwell' turned into being jaundiced, which progressed to being very unwell and she was admitted immediately into the ICU of a NYC hospital. OI VEY..

With acute liver failure.. this young woman who doesn't do drugs with dirty needles, neither is she a drinker but she'd contracted a life killer whilst on the idyllic island of Bali which was going to kill her unless she had a liver transplant.. asap.. gulp

Apart from the shock of reading what was happening to Nora, she suddenly had the creepiest feeling start to come over her. You know she doesn't have children but all of you who have read the post know that she was involved in an accident in 1969 which resulted in her being in a coma for six weeks.

In those days, there wasn't nearly the sophistocated medical machinery which now exists and so, for six weeks, her parents didn't know if she'd ever 'wake' up or if she did, would she be permanently brain damaged.

Then whilst working in the Algarve, Portugal in 1970, she and three other people contracted Hepatitis from bad shellfish. She went as yellow as a daffodil and had to be flown to Lisbon to be in ICU to be under the care of an Army Liver Specialist, he'd specialised in this treatment whilst serving in Angola.

And in 1975, forty years ago this year, she had renal failure and was admitted into ICU at the old St.George's Hospital at Hyde Park Corner, more 'worry' for her parents but this time, Constance, who lived in Spain, were called for by her surgeon.. gulp.

LuLu told her today "yes, she had a liver transplant, she is home, she is getting stronger, she had to have other operation and I, well, I am broken..".

She isn't broken. She's been 'wounded' and used up most of her supply of her mother's courage, which will replenish itself but we know LuLu and we understand, we understand only too well, our darling friend, for my mama has gone through this three times, three times her Guardian Angel has said "Where do you think you're going, come back here" and brought her back from taking hold of that shiny rope which reaches up into heaven.

And as LuLu described this afternoon what she and Tom have gone through with Nora, this same creepy feeling showed itself to be the realisation of what Constance and Hugo must have gone through when their daughter was in ICU three times.

SO.. back to the beginning of this post we go and so go.. Tell those that you love that you love them, don't waste energy or time on anyone who doesn't think you're the best thing in their lives. And "Go with God", this expression does not mean 'hop off this mortal land and disappear into heaven', what it means is 'travel with God', the God of your understanding, whomever he or she may be.

In Spanish we say 'Vayo con Dios' and I cannot think of a better way to end today, than to say 'God bless you Nora'.

GeeGee Parrot.
Christmas Day.
December 25th, 2015.

THE TWO OF US. ME FOR HER & HER FOR ME. LIFE'S VERY SIMPLE.. THERE'S JUST THE TWO OF US.

She's a Crab and if you think about it, you don't often see crabs walking along with anyone else.. Crab or otherwise, do you? I'm a Lion and we're pretty independent too. And here, in real life, there are just the two of us.

Are we lonely? Sometimes is the honest answer to that, because loving to no avail is her definition of loneliness but that's because no-one whom she 'loved' is still alive but having had someone whom she loved as she did, and still does for he may be dead but he sure as hell isn't forgotten, is tricky.

Why's it tricky? Well, I guess it is because she was happy with him, he wasn't faultless and she CERTAINLY ain't, that's for sure! Don't worry folks, she taps this so all my posts are proof read by her before you, Dear Readers, get to read them.

People come to our home and think it is very much 'our' home, which is true. of course. But they don't see the two birds under which they walk in the sitting room, they don't see the small silver bell in the kitchen which says Christmas 1993, neither do they see, perching high up in the bathroom, the Waterford Partridge in the Pear tree nor the Turtle Dove.

He gave her these along with many other things but the most important gifts he gave her were his love and his friendship and, thereby, the love and friendship of his mother.

In 1986 they had that ghastly, dreadful, almighty ear-drum busting, antique china breaking (she didn't do it - he did) argument, she high-tailed it out of Dodge, coming back to London and proceeded to have a veryvery regrettable affair with an tyre-kicker, aka motor car salesman.

When they heard what had happened, his mama in Pittsburgh wept and her mother, Constance, was beside herself with rage! For she, too, had done something as equally stupid, hadn't had the courage to go back and apologise and lived to regret it for the rest of her life.

Strangely, only a few people in England even knew about him, her parents did, of course, but neither of her brothers ever met or knew about him. Her sister in law Catherine in France met him, her much beloved friend Madge met him once in the early 90's, mad 'Skip' Muller met him with her in Stuttgart in 1983 and they went on to become good buddies back in the States.

He died the year after Miss Betty and her mother died, the same year that Hay darling died, almost a year before darling Dagga Parrot and I never knew him. I haven't had to 'share' her with anyone.

SHARE! That's another inside joke.. which you'll know if you've read all my posts, I ain't going to repeat myself by telling it again, but here's a clue.. it involves eggs.

So rather than make do with second-best or enter fantasy land, she remains part of a pair, one.. of the two of us. "We're in or we're out of the money, days maybe cloudy or sunny, but we're rolling along, singing this song.." We'll do, just us two.

GeeGee Parrot.
Christmas Day.
December 25th, 2015.
PostScript: She called the USA today and she spoke to LuLu. A tale of bravery & courage which will make you think of how much we take a lot of things for granted is coming up in my next tale.

HOHOHO.. THERE'S LOTS OF THAT BUT JOE'S GOT NO SNOW.. FOR IT'S 17C IN OTTAWA!

Happy Christmas everyone. Santa visited me early this morning and left me an orange, my newest love, and a fast-breaking menu! Now I know that sounds pretty strange but the strangest thing is I'm pretty sure I've never met this man and yet he knows that I reallyreally love food, weird eh?

We awoke to find emails from Tom and Bob, Joe and Faith and a pretty one. It is a Paperless Post Christmas card from Austria, the first part of the card is a photo of a castle, yes Dear Readers, a REAL Austrian Schloss, called Churburg ~ built in 1250! ~ it's in the south Tyrol and is the home of Cecily and Johannes Trapp, Grafin und Graf von Matsch.

"Thank you Cecily, perhaps this year? And in the meantime, we wish Johannes, all of your family and you, Gods' blessings of good health and much happiness".

To Faith "sweetie, I hope they fit and / or the girls like them enough to keep them for when they're taller / bigger", she wants to call Leigh and Ossie to wish them a happy Christmas, and speak with Fanny in Paguera on the island of Mallorca.. Tom and Bob who are both in NYC and other friends who live all around the world, some farfar away and some near by.

But yes, you did read that correctly. Cecily and Johannes are the senior branch of the family Trapp. It was a member of another branch of this family, incorrectly named 'Baron von Trapp', who married his children's nanny and it's their story, which included escaping from the Nazis, which was immortalised in the film 'The Sound of Music'.

We wonder if they've got lots of snow for Christmas in Austria? For Joe in Ottawa in Canada hasn't! He reports that there's NO snow, which must be more than weird and that it is 17c degrees! Ooh dear, she cannot imagine there being no snow in Canada at this time of the year. She spent happy times at Chateau Montebello, Quebec with LOTS of the pure Canadian style crisp white stuff.

Gracious me, that's even warmer than it is here, where it's a balmy 14c. It's dry, thank goodness, as that big rain storm we were expecting didn't hit London last night but we fear for the waterlogged North West part of the UK. And Santa must have put rubber, squeak proof wheels on his sleigh last night for there was no snow with which to glide about on!

Back to that menu.. it lists : Eggs.. done anyway I want.. Toast.. TOAST! I have 't seen a toasty crust for at least six months, oh yum. Hummus and Smoked Salmon. Oh dear, oh dearie me, such choices, what shall I have?

I know what, as I would like anything (and everything) on this menu, I'll leave it up to her and let it be a surprise, another gift as it were. A Christmas gift of yumyum made with love by my mum.

GeeGee Parrot.
Christmas Day,
December 25th, 2015.
PostScript: An important date, the 27th, is fast approaching, have you recalled its' significance yet?

ON BEING A HUNTER GATHERER AND OUR CHRISTMAS GREETINGS TO YOU ALL FROM US BOTH.

This, Dear Readers, is an art for which, you have to be prepared to be flexible. For you have no idea what is out there to be gathered when you go out hunting But first.. you have to go out.. there.. and we woke up late today, for which hours later, she was very glad.

But it put a stop to the idea of her making and baking that orange cake. Instead, she dived into the chilly-white larder and came out with the second half of a chocolate salami, the lack of chilli had not prevented the first half from being eaten, so it would act as a splendid fuel for three Goaty troops who have been battling it out at Borough Market.

So after gathering stuff together, she replendished my yumyum and water dishes, gave me a kiss on Beaky and left the flat.. sigh.. LBC 97.3 ain't the same as having my mum at home but I settled down and waited for her to come home.

She did, eventually, when it was dark but she had lots to tell about her day of being 'out there'!

She went via the underground, catching the Jubilee Line to London Bridge where Borough Market is situated. Entering the market, she found two troopers busy flogging cheese. One trooper was absent but returned almost immediately drinking something that looked delicious, it was a proper, vanilla, milkshake.

It was greatly admired by the visitor and other troops and one of them went off immediately to gather vanilla and chocolate versions. Oooh, the chocolate one which mama had was perfection! What most excellent chocolate had been used, dark and rich, it had been properly mixed.. yes, it was truly slurpy.

She produced her salami which had been tied up in silver foil to look like a cracker, with scrunched up ends and with scarlet ribbon.. our ribbon.. which says in silver "With love from ... & GeeGee" and said "this is for you all, from GeeGee and me, we wish you all a happy and snow-free Christmas".

But they thought that it should be quality tested before she left, she opened it up and cut off slices. And learnt that Rosie, Joe's fiancee, can't digest nuts and, so very wisely, she doesn't eat them at all. Thank goodness she hadn't made the orange cake! For she might have forgotten to mention that it wasn't a flour cake but made with ground almond.. gulp!

And then.. the big surprise of the day kicked in! For there.. was the missing chilli! Wow.. who knew that chilli needed several days in order to work its' way through to do battle with chocolate and to come through winning.. she didn't!

Some delicious gifts were put into her plaited basket.. curd for me, two packets of biscuits from the island of Stornaway, a couple of packets of that stunning cheese called Winterdale Shaw that she raved about last week. And a jar of beetroot and horseradish.. WHICH elf knew that she considers this to be one Gods' best culinary marriages?

It approached time to pack up.. she's of absolutely no help doing this, so everyone was kissed good-bye and wished happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year and she left Borough.. fully intending to come home.

Back to London Bridge and onto a tube she got, getting off at Green Park and she, for a reason still unknown to her, walked up to catch a bus and who should be standing there at the top.. grinning from ear to ear and saying " I cannot believe who I'm looking at, how are you?"

And, there, was her first boss when she joined Revlon International. Just think, if she'd continued home by changing on to the Piccadilly Line she'd have missed meeting Shirley, whom she'd last seen in Bermuda in 1981.

"What are you doing here?", asked my mama.. "aah", said Shirl-the-Twirl, "I'm in search of things to eat as I wasn't supposed to be here, but fate has a way of changing plans, YOU know that only too well, my darling girl, let's go in search of a bit of grub and to play catch-up".

They decided to stay away from the West End which would have been manic and headed for Fulham where it would still be open for business but without the crowds. Now, she is not mad about Tesco's or any of other jumbo supermarkets but the big Tesco on Cromwell Road have been clever enough to create a pleasant place to drink good coffee and eat a pastry or two.

And so these two old friends sat and chewed the fat and talked and talked about who and what and why.. until she realised the time and said 'I think we've got to get going, otherwise they'll close and we won't have any food!"

And then two grown-up women played 'Hunt for two days food', first of all, my mama scooped up all the samphire in one swoop, Shirley pillaged for vegetables saying she only needed enough for three people for two meals and fruit. They noticed a bit of strange activity going on around the fish counter and realised they were sluicing down the ice and the fresh fish was being bagged up!

Like locusts, these two women pounced on the fishmonger as he took up a couple of beautiful trout and a fat piece of smoked salmon from the ice, my mum said "just what I'd love with beetroot and horseradish relish with buttery samphire" as she waited for him to price and bag up these lovely treats and a fat tuna together with another piece of smoked salmon whooshed its' way into Shirley's basket.

Cheese, of course, she had a'plenty, but they went off and found some which passed from a smiley cheese man to Miz Shirley, along with fruits and fresh coffee.

Then it was time to pay and leave with their gathered goodies. Their bills were a joke! These foods had, literally, been given away by these clever merchants and wisely too. For fish IS better cooked when fresh and these fish are bright and shiny eyed.

They walked to catch a 74 bus back up to Knightsbridge, for her to come home and for Shirley to collect her car and to find her daughter. They got off together at Brompton Square and crossed the road together.

They stood and smiled at each other, how lovely, how very lovely it had been to spend time with an old friend without a husband / lover / child / parrot / etc, etc. They gave each other a hug and wished each other "Vayo con Dios and happy Christmas and New Years" and she walked home. What a nice thing to have happened.

We had smoked salmon with beetroot and horseradish relish with buttery lightly boiled samphire on a bed of rocket for supper, an advantage about being just the two of us, is she knows I'll eat anything she gives me and she, well, she's a hunter and a gatherer and she gathered some slurpy things today.

The sky was blue, there hadn't been a cloud was in sight, what a perfectly brilliant day it had been and guess what, it's the 24th of December and not only is it Christmas Eve but, we have passed the shortest day of the year on the 21st and our days will be getting longer.. and brighter.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone.. Happy Christmas to you all.

GeeGee Parrot & Her.
December 24th, 2015.

AND ON THE WAY HOME.. WE WENT TO BUY HUMMUS AND ORANGES FOR SHE'S GOT TO BAKE AN ORANGE CAKE TO TAKE TO BOROUGH.. 'FUEL' FOR GOATY TROOPS!

Now we are off to bed because she's got to be up early and baking tomorrow.. there's a team down at Borough Market who've worked their socks off in the last two weeks with Farmer's Markets, milking, cheese making, as well as driving up and down to and from London to Kent.

The least she can do is to make the team a big lot of 'fuel', we're veryvery fond of these folks and you should be too.. why, because if it wasn't for that Goaty mum, YOU, Dear Readers, would not be reading this blog. Why? Well, because there wouldn't be a blog. That's why.

So she's going to give me a .01 of medicine to help me settle down, I'll gobble a bit of hummus and tomorrow we'll talk about the last two programmes of Professional Masterchef tomorrow, she's tired now and it's too late.

So PipPip to you all and I'll be back tomorrow around late tea-time.. PipPip.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 23rd, 2015.

A TRIP TO THE VET.. AND WE MEET ANOTHER AFRICAN GREY.. JASPER, POOR BOY, HE HAD A BROKEN LEG..

Yes, Dear Readers, I've been 'sarf of de river' to East Sheen and visited my veterinary surgeon. You'll be veryvery pleased to hear that there is nothing wrong with me.. pheww!

Why did I have to go to see my 'quack'? Well, since I came out of the avairy, I regret to tell you, I've been taking my clothes off.. aka plucking my feathers out. It's NOT a good look and it has caused my mama a great deal of distress.

So much that she, in a moment of being dreadfully sad, considered giving me back to my breeder.. gulp.. yes.. folks, this is why Debbie Goaty mum told her not to be so silly last Sunday and to take me to my vet.

My weight is ok, my skin is ok, my eyes are ok, my behaviour highly typical of a female parrot of my age and Matthew agreed with my breeder that I am coming up to egg laying age and I am, maybe, a bit hormonal.

So £81.95 later.. gulp.. with a tub of red palm and raspberry extract and a highly specialised avian vitamin supplement in her handbag, I popped back into my travelling ferret's cage and out we went into reception.

WHERE.. my Dear Readers.. I met Jasper. Oh.. he was only a baby, six months old, but he reminded her immediately of Dagga Parrot for he's a very large african grey indeed. My mama and his dad sat and chatted for a short while but then, of course, we had to come home.

Our parents didn't exchange names or telephone numbers, mama did tell him that I write a blog but unless he gets in touch with us through the vet, I'll never see him again.. oh, parents can be SO silly, can't they?

So there we are, he's the first boy I've met since 2006.. and I don't even know where he lives.. sigh.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 23rd, 2015.

LET'S EAT CAKE.. OH, YES.. DO LET'S EAT CAKE.

A Truffle Torte.. how does this sound! Ah, well this is veryvery slurpy.. for it contains dark chocolate and amaretti biscuits which, of course, are also in the famous and much loved salami.. so we know lots of people will make and fall in love with this Torte!

Ingredients:
5 Tbsps of liquid glucose (a good chemist / pharmacy should be able to supply this).
5 Tbsps of good rum.
1 lb / 450g plain dark dessert chocolate.
1 Pint / 570ml double cream - NOT cold.
3 ozs / 75g amaretti, crushed very finely with a rolling pin.. NOT RUBBLE LIKE FOR SALAMI!

To serve:
Dark cocoa powder for dusting.
Chilled single pouring cream.
2 Tbsp of Amaretto liqueur.

You'll need a 9" / 23cm cake tin which is lined with a circle of greaseproof paper and lightly brushed with vegetable oil.

Method:
Start by sprinkling the finely crushed amaretti biscuits over the base of the tin.
Break the slab of chocolate into small sections and put them in a bowl with the glucose and rum.
Rest the bowl over a pan of simmering water and let the chocolate melt slowly.
Remove the bowl from the pan and leave it to cool for about 5 minutes.
In a separate bowl, beat the cream until it is very slightly thickened.
Fold half of the cream into the chocolate, glucose & rum mix.
Then fold THAT mixture into the rest of the cream.
When smoothly mixed together, spoon it over the scrushed amaretti biscuits in the prepared tin.
Make sure it is level by giving it a good sharp tap on the work surface to settle it down properly.
Cover the tin with cling film and chill, but do NOT FREEZE overnight.

To serve..
Run a palette knife round the base to loosen the torte, give it a good shake and turn it out onto a serving plate.
Remove the parchment paper.. carefully.. from the bottom of the torte.
Dust the surface with sifted dark chocolate powder.
Mix the amaretto liqueur into the pouring cream.
And put the amaretti cream out with the torte for greedy guests to help themselves.

She eats dark chocolate, none of that wishy-washy-milky chocolate for her and this dark chocolate torte is right up there on her list of favourite desserts and when placed on a dinner plate of 'Holly & Ribbons' porcelain made by Royal Worcester, it looks like a page from her favourite food magazine.. Gourmet.

Oh, how she loves that magazine, yes loves, she was a subscriber for manymany years and still has got all of them sitting on a shelf in our bedroom.

But sadly, Si Newhouse of Conde Nast Publications closed it, just like that, the last issue sold was November 2009, they didn't even print the Christmas one. BooHoo.

But aren't we lucky.. luckytucky.. for we don't make and eat it every day.. and as it's a treat.. make it to share it with friends and enjoy.. A Truffle Torte.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 22nd, 2015.

'NATURE'S TOOTHPASTE' ~ Natural care by Tom's of Maine.

Aah.. doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, thinking that Tom's of Maine have your best interests at heart? And.. I quote from the tube.

"Dear friends.
Tom's Anti-plaque Toothpaste helps control plaque buildup every time you brush, without artificial ingredients or harsh abrasives that can damage enamel. We've also added propolis and myrrh for a clean, healthy-tasting mouth. Please let us know what you think!**

Kate and Tom.
Kate and Tom Chappell.
Co-founders, Tom's of Maine.

Fluoride-free formula.
Some people do not want fluoride in the toothpaste. We produce Antiplaque Toothpaste without fluoride because we respect our customers' diverse needs and interests.

(And in RED lettering.. because it's SO important.. they go on to say..)

This product does not contain sacharin; artifical sweetners, preservatives, colours, or flavours; or animal ingredients. Tom's of Maine is against animal testing.

Ingredients: Calcium carbonate, aqua (water), glycerin, xylitol, Mentha viridis and Mentha piperata, Chondrus cripus, sodium lauryl sulphate, Commiphora myrrha, Propolis cera.

Naturally, it works. TM.

Hello.. she's witless with rage.. in fact, the third cake is still sitting on the carpet as a friend rang her to tell her that she's just seen this on the back of her so-called healthy toothpaste.. What incredible crap! She's SO ANGRY.. how dare they put SLS into a so-called healthy toothpaste, that huge amounts of people will buy thinking: that it's safe, isn't full of chemicals, won't cause mouth cancer..

Do you know what SLS - sodium lauryl sulphate and its' ugly sister sodium laureth sulphate are used for in industry.. they're used to strip down dirty, oily engines. Yes, it makes them nice and shiny. It is a highly dangerous substance.

And so.. Dear Kate and Tom Chappell.. **This is what I think..

"I think you don't have the faintest idea what you're doing, you think by putting the Latin names of a few plants on the back of your toothpaste tubes that you will appear to be "good guys".. well, you're not.. you've cut corners and are endangering peoples lives with your shoddy merchandise.

How dare you  ~ and the other wretched cosmetic and household companies that use these chemicals ~ put peoples' lives at risk, have you ever seen what mouth cancer looks like.. or met someone who has had to have their tongue removed?

A mouth is a warm place and SLS react very quickly in warm places, plus these awful chemicals access our blood stream through the mucus system whose entry point is in the mouth.. nice eh?

Shame upon you and your company ~ and all the others ~ who use SLS, I think you're disgusting".

GeeGee Parrot.
December 22nd, 2015.

"GOODBYE THIRD CAKE.. I HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN A MORSEL OF EVEN ONE CRUMB.. TO WHOM DO I COMPLAIN?"

Three cakes were made and the third is just about to leave the flat.. it's sitting in the hall in a cake carrier but I, Dear Readers, have yet to taste a morsel of a crumbly crumb! I call that a bit of a swizz, don't you?

Well, I guess you and I are in the same boat, for unless you are one of the lucky few who actually get to receive or eat any of these cakes, you won't taste it either. And words have reached me that her slimming group raved about the one she took to yesterday's Christmas party! Gluten and Fat free.. what's not to love?

At least I have had my hummus and a soft boiled egg this morning and there's an unsuspecting Cox's apple sitting on the top of the big cupboard, so I can't really complain but it is a bit sad, don't you think? Or are you busy out there buying ground almonds and eight easy-peel oranges with which to make your own?

She's almost ready to leave, YumYum HQ has had a lick and a promise, so to has bathroom, the state of sitting room leaves a lot to be desired, it's where Big Cousin Bruce will be sleeping as of next Sunday, she'd better rock on and tidy it up sooner rather than later or she'll be doing it when we get home at midnight the night before.

And she won't want to be doing it then, I wouldn't, would you? She wishes she had been able to make the shelves in the secret storeroom but it wasn't possible, they're still in the sitting room, lots of them, plus vases etc and there's a lot of etc, I assure you.

Hey-ho.. fiddle-dee-dee.. She must go and I am going to FlapFlap up to the top of # 1 cupboard, she spent a considerable amount of time up there yesterday standing on the big step-ladder, she cleaned, laid sheets of paper, perch was scrubbed, swimming pool was emptied, given a good scrub, refilled, then placed into a very large shallow plastic box.

"It's to stop the water splashing out and soaking the newspaper GeeGee.. you'll get used to it, don't worry".. huh.. I think it looks veryvery suspicious, it reminds me of something but of what, I am not quite sure.

"Time to go",who said that? Apart from me just now, go on, hazard a guess, it ain't too hazardous!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 22nd, 2015.

AN ENVIROMENTALLY FRIENDLY CHRISTMAS 'LOG'.. NO TREE WAS CUT DOWN..

                                              A CHRISTMAS LOG WITH HOLLY

Get ye to an icecream shop immediately, if not sooner, for no tree is killed for this recipe!

Ingredients:
1. 2 Pints of Rum & Raisin or Hazelnut Icecream.
2. 1 Pint of Chocolate Icecream.

Put both into the freezer when you get them home until you are ready to 'grow' your log.

You will need a palette knife and a bowl with hot water.
A large fork.
A serving board or plate that fits into your freezer.
Tin foil.

Method:
Let the Rum & Raisin / Hazelnut icecream soften a little bit and turn it into a oblong shaped tin, pressing it down with the palette knife so that it gets down into the corners of the tin.
Put the tin back into the freezer for several hours to harden up.
Take the Chocolate icecream out whilst the Rum & Raisin / Hazelnut Icecream is hardening up.
Allow the Chocolate icecream to soften enough so that you can spread it with a palette knife.
Take the Rum & Raisin icecream out of the freezer and turn it out onto a board / plate.
Take the palette knife and spread the Chocolate icecream onto and over the Rum & Raisin icecream.
Make the icecream roughly into the shape of a log, using the palette knife dipped into hot water to create the shape.
Taking the fork, make marks along the top and sides to look like rough tree bark and do a 'knot'' in the centre on the top.
Wrap the board / plate in tin foil and return it to your freezer.
Take it out of the freezer a short time before serving and decorate with a sprig of holly.

You know, Dear Readers, anyone would think we have a sweet tooth.. I wonder why?

GeeGee Parrot.
December 22nd, 2015.

LOST 2 lbs.. WHERE DID IT GO? I GUESS THE SAME PLACE AS THE OTHER 27 lbs.. GONE.

YUBBA-DUBBA-DOO! Despite practising quality control on that chocolate salami yesterday morning and licking 'several' bowls, spoons and spatulas relating to the mammoth cake-baking session before putting them into the washing-up bowl yesterday afternoon, she has, miraculously, lost a further two lbs this last week.

This, Dear Readers, is undoubtedly a flippin' miracle! For she exhibited 'python' habits last Monday night with those jolly folk in Faversham and at Mackmade for lunch the following day, she had a chinese lunch during with a friend during the week and we ate, which some folks think we don't do! How daft aka mad are they, huh?

Yes, she's lost 29lbs and is now under 140lbs - aka 10 stone in UK old fashioned speak. It is really 'strange' to feel lighter, to be faster, to be 'smaller'. Anthony, with whom she shares notes and tips, has also lost over 28lbs - 2 stone - and they were talking today together with another couple of big loss losers about how it actually 'feels' not to have this 'outer' layer.

"A bit weird" was Tracys' first comment, "plus people think 'WE' are different when really all that's happened is that we've lost a significat amount of weight, but it does take time to adjust and it is undoubtedly very strange when you hit target, you've achieved 'it' and now what, this was me before and now this is me after.. but what is after?"

Tracy's lost 77 lbs, 5.5 stone and my mama has seen her lose the last 43lbs, 3 stone. She did it as she refused to give in to Diabetes, she's now insulin free and runs daily with her two eldest children, something she was physically incapable of doing before.

Dodgy knee ain't going to allow her to run like Tracy but she is going to take a weekly barre class and maybe.. she would be able to go back Alan Herdman's studio in Seymour Street. Ah, now, that would be a huge treat.

But only because Granny is now a 'real' Granny.. this is a very inside joke!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 21st, 2015.

HE ASKED "DO YOU LIKE CHILDREN?" AND SHE REPLIED "INDEED.."

OH.. Back to the beginning for I must tell you how this conversation came about.. Zoooooom.. back we go.

This morning she had places to go and things to do and after doing the first three things with a friend, who was driving her around and about in exchange for a favour that she'd done them last week, she was dropped off at home to collect the second cake that was leaving the house today.. sob.. and head off in time to attend her weekly Monday weigh-in and attend the Christmas party.

Onto a 14 bus she got with her cake carrier and they started trundling off down the Fulham Road, a lot of noise came down the stairs and suddenly there appeared two little boys and a very tall exquisite young woman who was, obviously, their mother.

The racket got louder and louder, she smiled at their mum, who rolled her eyes and tried to quieten the boys down a notch or two. My mama beckoned her towards her and whispered "but they'll grow up and you'll miss all of this," and immediately, the boys rushed over and the biggest boy said "what did you said to mummy?", she smiled and said "that's a secret..", then the littler of the two looked straight into her eyes, she was sitting down and he was standing right in front of her, and he said.. "Do you like children?"

It isn't often that God gives you this opportunity.. she smiled a very 'foxy' smile and licked her lips and said, in a veryvery scary voice "Yes, indeed, I love children but I would only be able to eat half of you at a time"..

Their mother howled, she squealed with laughter and said "OH, HOW SIMPLY WONDERFUL.. Now Tom, you must remember to tell daddy this tonight" and she leant down and forward and gave my mama a huge hug.

The two little boys didn't know whether to laugh or cry! But certainly the other people on the bus did! And a number 14 red London bus rocked with laughter.. all the way down the Fulham Road.

Sometimes.. just sometimes.. the perfect phrase comes to mind! An old 'perfect' phrase..

GeeGee Parrot.
December 21st, 2015.

WE AWOKE TO A BLUE (TRUE) SKY!

So Mr. Blue hasn't gone away after all! He's there, high above these evil, water logged grey clouds. So why can't or don't they whizz around the world and empty themselves over California, where there's an extremely serious water crisis.

Or, they could go due south and rain over a desert or two. OR, not even go as far south, they could turn themselves into snow clouds and do that 'falling' act over the mountainous regions of Austria, France and Switzerland where their mountains, which should look 'crisp, white and even', are still all green.

But true to winters' form, blue's now gone away and we're left with a murky pale beigey-grey sky. But let's cheer up, for all is not lost. She's had a couple of funny emails from friends that made her choke and squeal with laughter, just as they were meant to, plus an astonishing one from a woman in NYC.

"Who is the meanest woman in the west", as a mutual aquaintance once called this woman whose name is Adrienne. "For you should never ever expect her to behave properly and always count your fingers if you've been silly enough to give her your hand".. ouch!

Yes, an email plopped into an old email inbox late last night, it was nauseatingly sacherinely sweet  "huh, GeeGee, I wonder what she wants, I bet you 10-2-1 that she's coming to London within a week or two and will be wanting to stay.. fat chance Adrienne, in fact, NO chance at all".

But she's got things to do and places to go to.. there's a big bag of stuff to be dropped off in Battersea for Faith and her children, a cake to be delivered, more powdered almonds to be bought, for each of those orange cake takes 250g, her weigh-in has to be done and I heard her making an appointment for tomorrow in East Sheen.. ugh.. THAT'S where Chris Hall, my veterinary surgeon, has his surgery.

Now, don't get me wrong.. I LOVE this man, in fact, the first time I met him, I blushed.. and he was mightily astonished and said to my mama "I have NEVER seen an African Grey do this, I was taught at vet school that the females do it sometimes, how amazing!"

So, it truly is a case of PipPip & FlapFlap.. for I've got to go and wave 'farewell to a cake"..

GeeGee Parrot.
December 21st, 2015.

ANOTHER HEAVENLY MARRIAGE.. MADE FOR A PLATE!

Okey-Dokey.. party time is a'getting closer, these will make guests or family smile, they're easy-peasy  to make and tasty too!

Read through the ingredients first as there a couple of things that you may / will need to buy before you roll up your sleves and get cooking!

These quantities make 36 very pretty SALMON LEEK & DILL TARTLETS.

You'll need:
25g unsalted butter.
1 Leek thinly sliced.
1 clove of Garlic crushed and finely slced.
170ml of double Cream.
1 Egg medium sized.
213g can of Wild Red Salmon.. DRAINED.
1Tbsp of chopped fresh Dill + extra for garnish.
2 packs of 18 Tartlet cases.

Method:
Preheat your oven to 190C - Gas mark 5.
Melt the butter in a small frying pan, add the garlic and the leek.
Cook over a medium heat for about 8-10 minutes until they're softened but not browned.
Remove fron the heat and allow to cool.
Beat the cream and egg together in a bow, fold in the garlic & leek.
Fold in the salmon and the dill.
Divide the mixture between the tartlet cases.
Set the tartlets on 2 large baking trays and bake for 10-15 minutes, the filling should just be set.
Put onto a pretty cool plate or tray.
Garnish with dill.

RESIST the urge to scoff the lot and offer them to happy guests.

She had a Swedish friend Margareta who, for over twenty years, gave her most a wonderful gift each Christmas of a side of homemade Gravadlax.. sadly, she's in the great kitchen up in the sky but these two words, Salmon & Dill, remind us of our lovely friend who was an outstanding cook.

Try them and see if you don't think they're great, she's also does this recipe using fillets of smoked trout and horseradish root mixed with double cream.. don't cook them for as long though.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 21st, 2015.

An email that put a smile on her face.

It was a "Thank you" from the maker of that cheese, Winterdale Shaw, that Joe, of Ellie's Dairy, introduced her to last Tuesday at Mackmade, the farm shop near Faversham, in Kent.

She wrote an email last week to Mr. Robin Betts, the cheesemaker, congratulating him on the quality of his cheese and sent him the link to the post on my blog where we had raved about it, BUT she didn't expect a reply, he must get lots of emails about his cheeses.

Now.. Dear Readers.. you all know by now uf you've been reading my blog for some time that she reallyreally likes 'good' manners.. and is singularly unimpressed when people don't thank her, or other people, when they're given something.

She dolled out a couple of extremely nice Christmas gifts to a couple of youngsters two years ago and was astonished when neither of them had the manners nor ever have had, to say verbally or drop her a card to say "Thank you".

Needless to say, it must have been, she reckons, that her taste in gifts was SO ghastly, she's never bothered to give them anything again and does not intend to.

Likewise with her two nieces.. both of whom were given quite a large amount of personalised ribbon for Christmas four years ago, we know it arrived as it was signed for but was it ever acknowledged, sadly no.

But Constance had had a 'pretty' dim view of their mother's manners and she certainly organised it that any jewellery she had left, after her two sons had robbed her blind, was disposed of in such a way with instructions that it was not ever to be passed onto either of her sons' issue. Oi vey.. as I say.

Anyway, back to this 'Thank you' email, which plopped into her inbox this afternoon. Busy man. Making cheese, milking cows, human, so has another life, yet he takes the trouble to acknowledge a fan's email, we like that as much as we like his cheese and that's very much indeed.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 20th, 2015.

THE CHOCOLATE WHO STOLE THE CHILLI!

She laced it heavily with a strong mix of Szechuan pepper, chilli and ginger plus she poured a goodly helping of Langams Ginger and Chilli sauce into the middle before doing the final roll.

'IT' was a full sized chocolate salami and the reason it was being made as a savoury one was they, aka Goaty mum and she, had not had their monthly helping of sinus blasting Malaysian Dumplings at Marylebone's Farmer's Market.

So trundlng off down to Parson's Green she went, and had a couple of horrid sad thoughts along the way which made her quite 'queer' and as there hasn't been NOT even one speck of blue sky to be seen for at least three days, she got very low indeedy.

So low, that she told Goaty mum her thoughts and got the crisp, speedy response of "Don't be stupid, you can't do that, take her to the vet asap".

Anyway, she produced the silver wrapped sausage of salami and, although, it was actually for all the dairy fairies back home, they HAD to do a quality control, didn't they?

And that was when she discovered that the dark chocolate had stolen the taste of chilli!

Who knew! She didn't, there wasn't even a hint of it, so they had another slice in the hope that further in there might be some chillies lurking, no, still no chillies to be found, most curious. So they decided the only way would be to roll the salami in chillies and to blow their socks off that way!

Crikey, I am glad she doesn't experiment on my taste buds like this!

We've baked three of those delicious orange cakes this afternoon, one's gone up the road to a friend, one will go with her tomorrow's weigh-in, it's their Christmas party, she said she'd bring a non-gluten, fat free cake and one is going out as a surprise tomorrow.

The flat smells of spices and citrus, a GREAT smell at any time and especially on a winter's day.

I shall have to watch her with a beady eye.. for I can't be having her having sad thoughts.. for there's enough sadness in the world without it being in our home as well.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 20th, 2015.

BRINGING HOME THE BACON. BRAMFIELD MEATS OF HALESWORTH, SUFFOLK.

HOHOHO.. oh.. let it snow! For she's found it! And it's all due to Chelsea playing at home today. No, we haven't lost the plot.. read on Dear Readers.. read on.

When Chelsea are playing at home, the buses that trundle up and down the Fulham Road are diverted when fans are going in and coming out of Stamford Bridge. So her bus came down Harwood Road and as it was approaching Fulham Broadway, she remembered Whole Foods store.

"I wonder if they would have any bacon, it's no sweat to just go in and look, and for all I know, it might be sitting there unloved and with my name on it", so she got off and went into the shop. Yes, it is the same company from America, she LOVED the Whole Foods store in Austen, Texas and there is a larger edition up on Kensington High Street in the old building which used to be Barkers.

Wending her way to the back on the right hand side, she found a young assistant called Charlie and asked her if by any chance they did any NON precut bacon, this charming girl said "do you mean like this" and leaning into the meat display, she picked up a slab of bacon.. from Suffolk.

The label says Bramfield Meats and they're located in Halesworth, Suffolk. Which is very 'foody' part of Suffolk, I think the shop KW CLARKE BUTCHERS in Halesworth is / are their retail outlet.

Words failed her, for it was exactly what she wanted. A piece of properly cured pig with no water or nasty preservatives added to it. And at a reasonable price. But now you're all wondering how she going to cut it, aren't you?

Hah.. well, dearest darling Bill had a passion for all things delicious and the meat he loved was viande de grison, an air dryed beef.. which is impossible to cut by hand.

And the first time he brought her a slab of this back from Switzerland, he also brought her an electric slicer. A smaller size than the shops use but just as powerful and razor sharp and, the all important thing, fully adjustable for different thicknesses.

And, she knows exactly where it is! It's in the metal rack which holds electric whisks, the mandolin and a couple of oval entree dishes.

When the ham she got yesterday is finished, Mister Bacon will be breaking her nights' fast together with a couple of fried eggs with freshly ground pepper and a large mug of Brunette. I prefer my eggs soft boiled, we are fussy about our eggs.

Oh.. slurp the durp.

But that's in the future.. what did we have for supper tonight which I said we'd give you details about? Bavette steak with Celariac.. very slurpy!

She never peels celeriac, but gives it a scrubbing with a short stiff brush, then rinses it under running water to make sure there's no mud left on it.

Remember to take meat out of the fridge at least 30 minutes before you start to cook, meat straight out of the fridge will NOT cook properly. Season your steak and brush it with a small amount of good olive oil and allow it to come up to room temperature.

Chop in a food processor or shred the celariac with a mandolin into a bowl into which you squeezed the juice of half a lemon. (this is how she knows where the meat slicer is). Add a tbsp of sour cream and the same of freshly chopped chives, together with the same amount of Dijon mustard, mix well making sure the celariac is well coated and put the bowl into the fridge.

Put your pan onto the heat and allow it to get HOT, smoking hot, then put your steak into the pan. Allow 2 mintes per side for rare meat or 3 minutes per side for medium. Turn the heat off, transfer the steak to a warmed plate and allow the meat to sit and relax.

She loves radicchio and covers her plate with a few torn up leaves of this glorious vegetable, she sprinkles on a tiny amount of olive oil, a squeeze of lemon and a finger crunch of a good salt, this is what awaits her steak when it comes out of the pan.

The celariac comes out of the fridge, is given a good stir and we settle down to a perfect meal. She only eats once a day after we break our fast and it is well worth waiting for a steak like this with celariac on the side and the radicchio underneath which 'wilts' slightly from the heat of the meat.

And yes, she does lick her plate when she's finished.. so would you.. if you have any sense. There are some definite advantages to living with an unshockable parrot.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 19th,
PostScript: She's back drinking coffee, her insides settled down and are ok, she's also drinking a great deal more water.

THE LIGHT OF DAY.. AKA DAYLIGHT.. IS LIGHTER TODAY.

Well, it is. We've had such dark days that to wake up to a lighter sky is a treat and in two days time.. yippee.. we'll experience the shortest day of the year and then our days will start to be longer!

In eight days time we will experience another significant day, I wonder if you know what that is? No clues will be given until we are nearer to the day, this means that folk who guess the right answer without the benefit of a clue (and email us) will get a bigger prize than those who rely upon clues.

What a lazy day we are having, by the way, that Suffolk ham she bought yesterday from Waitrose is exceptional and yes, she's has kept the label so she knows which one it was.

As we're a family of a woman and a parrot, there's no point in doing what Constance used to do for her family at Christmas time which was to cook a full sized ham. Boiled, then baked with cloves and brown sugar, I've never seen this but it does sound scrummydumptious beyond belief.

She, being Constance's daughter, knows how to do it and last made it in 1997 when she and Dagga Parrot spent Christmas with friends down in Hampshire. Sadie, the youngest daughter (a 'snippy' individual if ever there was such a person) was in the car when they were collected from the station and remarked "goodness me, are you coming to stay forever?" when she saw the luggage that mama had shlepped.

Mama ignored the rudeness and greeted the 'child' with "Hello Sadie, all will be revealed, I hope that you're ready for the holidays?". HeeHee.. having been told by Sadie's eldest sister that she wasn't and was blaming her family! Some mother's do 'ave 'em' is an expression that applied to this, then, thirty five year old 'child'.

The largest bag contained a pan for boiling a ham, PLUS the ham and all the ingredients. She knew the kitchen at the house where she was going to be staying didn't have anything she could use to cook such an item, so had brought her own.

But there's no point in making such a thing for one person, is there? So she has to hunt for good ham, for ham and eggs is a tasty way to 'make' your day. Good coffee is also needed and much to her amazement, she's become bored with Vellutto Nero!

Yes, 'mouth' decided that it wants another taste and when she was in the Algerian Coffee Stores this week, she heard herself saying "and 250gms of Brunette please". Goodness me, what's happening? The next thing is she'll be drinking Breakfast tea first thing in the morning instead of LapySang!

Ohhh.. grey sky has come back, well, at least we saw one patch of blue sky so we know it's still up there but those naughty old grey clouds, they surely do make for a dull day. It's Saturday and it's past 1pm, she has to go out and brave the crowds to get a couple of things, I'm having a little doze on her head whilst she taps this, it's unusual for me to be able to do this at this time of day, so I'm making the most of it!

We'll be back later with what we are having for supper tonight, Bavette steak with Celariac and yes, another 'Love & Marriage', the perfect match of Samon and Dill.

"God speed and travel safely all you Hoopers who are bound for Italy.." PipPip.. PipPip.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 19th, 2015.

LOVE & MARRIAGE LOVE & MARRIAGE GO TOGETHER LIKE CHOCOLATE & CHILLI, ORANGES & ALMONDS & A HORSE & CARRIAGE!

We think we're safe as none of the usual suspects will be reading my blog at this point in time! One's busy packing before driving to Italy for Christmas, another is veryvery busy tying bows, another is as far away as where the Bong Tree grows and several others should be working and not lolling about reading Parrot Tales by GeeGee.

Why should we think safety is an issue, well, you see we've been in YumYum HQ, I have been aiding 'n abetting and she's been doing the mixing, chopping, stirring and measuring, not necessarily in that order.

There are now two large bowls 'resting' in the fridge, you know the ones I mean, they're ceramic and cream coloured with a pale blue interior and are seriously BIG! When making deliciousnesses like what she's concocted, you don't want to futz about with measly little bowls that would only make enough to fill the hole in your back tooth.

Two flavours have been made, the weights of both lots were increased by 25%, so more of everything was added. I was given some of the more interesting items.. they were crunchy. It's ok, don't fret, we have a highly efficient vacuum which swallows all the stuff that I dribble onto the floor.

And she made a cake this afternoon.. of which she's giving you the recipe! Are you ready? Here it comes.. A Spiced Orange & Almond Cake.. how we haven't already scoffed the lot, I have NO idea for it smells wonderful.

You will need:
8 Oranges, the easy to peel kind, not the huge normal oranges.
5 eggs separated.
200g caster sugar - she uses Golden Caster Sugar.
250g ground almonds.
2 tsps of mixed Spice.
2 tbsp of Maple Syrup.
Icing sugar.
Vegetable oil for greasing.
Baking parchment paper.
23cms Springform Cake tin.

Method:
Put four of the oranges into a saucepan, cover them with COLD water and bring to the boil and then simmer for 25 minutes. Drain well and allow to cool, blitz in a food processor.
Preheat your oven to 180C or Gas mark 4.
Brush the base and sides of your tin with a little vegetable oil and line the bottom of the tin with the baking parchment.
In a large bowl, whisk the egg yolks and half of the caster sugar until pale and fluffy.
In a separate bowl, whisk the egg whites until they form crisp peaks, then whisk in the rest of the sugar.
Fold the pureed oranges, ground almonds and spice into the egg yolk mixture.
Fold in a quarter of the egg whites to 'loosen' it, then carefully fold in the rest of the egg whites mixture.
Pour the mixture into the prepared tin and bake for about 55 or 60 minutes, a skewer inserted should come out clean if it is done.
Leave to cool in the tin.
Turn the cake out onto a serving plate.
Peel the rest of the oranges, being carefull to remove as much of the skin as possible and CERTAINLY any pips if there are some! Arrange these peeled slices on the top of the cake.
Then drizzle over the Maple syrup and lighty dust the top with icing sugar.

Et voila.. a glorious flour and fat free cake! Don't say we never give you anything 'slimming'!

Now to the title of this post. Love & Marriage.. Chocolate & Chilli.. by the way, she'll be giving you a 'sweet' little recipe tomorrow for Salmon & Dill which is another heavenly marriage but has anyone a clue as to what she was doing in YumYum HQ this afternoon? Answers please in the comments box.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 18th, 2015.

HARRODS FOOD BUYERS & FRANCES.. AND SEARCHING FOR PROPER BACON.

She was out getting food basics early this afternoon, hummus for me and some stuff for a friend when her mouth said "hey-oop lass, I'd like some bacon and eggs tomorrow", do your taste buds do this to you?

Mine certainly do, there are weeks when I don't even think about 'pink stuff' and then all of a sudden, I want it desperately and have to communicate this desire to She Who Shops.

Anyway, she was in the Fulham Broadway and knows that Dickinsons only sell pre-packed bacon, and between you, me and the front door, the quality of their bacon leaves a lot to be desired. Their meat is usually good but the bacon.. nah, forget it.

So she went the Deli counter in Waitrose.. "no, sorry, all our bacon is pre-packed BUT how about some ham?" said a charming young and switched on assistant. "What a good idea, may I try a bit of that one" she said and having tasted it, said "I'll have four thick slices of that, it's delicious" and it is.. being a proper Suffolk ham.

She met an old friend, so they availed themselves of a free coffee, leant against a pillar and chewed the fat for a bit, then parted and she went off to check-out. And caught a bus upto Harrods to where MailBoxEtc are located in Montpelier Street.

Our upstairs neighbour is in residence which means that no mail is safe from his thieving hands, she collected her mail and asked the guys to keep WW for a few minutes.

She crossed the Brompton Road and went into Harrods. Years go by now without her entering this store, it seems strange to think that it was where she spent many years working and being happy to do. Why did she go in there?

Well, she was still hunting for bacon and when your mouth says to you "BACON", you sure as hell don't want to be putting a plastic pre-wrapped package of indifferent smoked back or streaky infront of her, because she means PROPER Bacon.

She was heading for the meat department. In olden times when she worked there, Harry was the Meat buyer, Peter was the Poultry buyer, Steve was the Shellfish buyer, she can't recall the wet fish buyer's name and Frances, darling Frances, was the main cashier and there was an entire counter which only sold bacon, in all different ways.. smoked, green, back, streaky.. you name it, they sold it and cut it for you.. spoilt for choice.. yes, the customers were and everybody went there for it was of the most superb quality.

Ohhhh dear! Whoops.. in each corner of this food hall are now four mini restaurants. One's a Harrods Rotisserie, the other three are rented out to companies. She was standing there, god-smacked with horror and sadness, when she realised someone was calling her name,

And tucked away behind a much smaller counter, was an old friend, grinning like crazy, "Oh, my goodness me, it's ....." she squeaked and went over to greet them.

Her friend filled her in on everything.. that Harry now lives in France, he retired years ago and he and his wife, who is French, moved to where she came home, Peter also retired but comes in now and then, Steve took a redundancy package and now works with frozen fish at Billingsgate Fish Market, what a waste of that incredible knowledge, and Frances, everyone's darling Frances with the wonky eye, died in a London Hospice a few years ago.

There is no fabulous shell-fish display, what there is, is a monstrous rubber or plastic Octopus, ugh please but even worse, there's no bacon counter! No choice of how you could have your choice of bacon sliced. There were packets of plastic pre-packed stuff and that, Dear Readers, was it.

"Oh dear, oh dearie, dearie me, I cannot believe what I am seeing" she said "what about the account customers and staff" she asked, "gone, when they started mucking about with the food halls, we lost the business from private chefs and housekeepers who used to spend fortunes with us, our daily takings are down".

"And there's none of that personal contact with the meat farmers like there used to be, do you remember when that Suffolk Smoke Houses and the Spanish Sherry company gave that party up in the Staff Canteen in the late 70's, well, nothing like that would happen now".

"Oh, indeed I do remember that, it was incredible, what a party that was! And they convulsed with laughter at the memory of the BIG fireman who danced a mean pasodoble with the Hosiery buyer!

(Harrods has it's own Fire Brigade who live on site when they're on duty, they also have their own artesian well).

They smiled at each other, she wished them all a "happy Christmas" and leaving Harrods, she crossed the Brompton Road, went to retrieve WW and to come home.

"No bacon GeeGee, I do have some delicious ham cut from a bone but it isn't the same, is it? Ah well, times have certainly changed when you can't get your bacon sliced how you want and everything is pre-packed in gruesome plastic and people wonder why children and adults get ill and fat".

Memories of happy times, she's lucky to have worked in wonderful places for wonderful people with wonderful products. And Harrods, in times gone by, was probably the most wonderful in every way.

GeeGee Parrot.
Demember 18th, 2015.
Postscript: Pink stuff is aka taramasalata.

GREEN BEANIES' NEW HOME & WATCHING PAUL HOLLYWOOD'S MAGIC HANDS MAKING DOUGH!

I know, it's a curious title for this morning's post, is it not! Let me start with the subject of her much loved green beanie. How did she survive all these years without one?

The weather is unseasonably warm, far too warm for the month of December. Down here in deepest Knightsbridge we haven't even had a severe frost, we've had them out on the allotments - which reminds me to tell her to do something - but here, we've had a few chilly nights but nothing like a proper frost which is when you wake up and everything is crisp and white.

We have also had a 'bit' of rain in the last couple of weeks but it's the north-west and the south-west of the UK who've had the monstrous rainfall. There was a report from Carlisle last night showing street after street with the entire contents of the houses' ground floor piled up out on the pavement waiting to be taken away. The water having reached the height over four feet inside the houses.

The contents were: Carpets, kitchen units, electrical items, furniture, beds, mattresses, clothing, toys, Christmas trees.. And still we are sending millions to India in Foreign Aid and they, meanwhile, have recently been able to spend over a BILLION Sterling with China to update their railway system.. and are also building a Space programme.

It doesn't matter whether it is a Conservative or a Labour government in the UK, they are incapable of realising that their own people need to have huge emergency funds for financial support first.

For 'weather' happens in this small country, speak to the people who live on the Somerset levels about water and the lack of river maintenance caused by financial cuts to our Water Authorities.. and you'll get an answer, that's for sure.

OK.. I'm now going back on track with today's post..

The weather report was for heavy rain last night, but did we get it in London? A spot or two but not what she calls 'heavy' rain. What we have had in abundance is wind.. old sneaky wind that plays havoc with your hair.. scaffolding, awnings and trees.

As she is enchanted with Pats' gift of pretty green beanie, it goes out with her most days and because it is pure wool it is light and yet warm, it folds up neatly into a pocket and saves her hair from being blown about or getting damp, for although we haven't had heavy rain, we sure have had many grey, drizzly days.

So green beanie comes home wet and we all know that leaving wool wet is not a good idea. "Hum GeeGee, where shall I put green beanie to dry? Oh.. lookielookie.. I have seen the perfect place" and she had, for right infront of her was old WW and the top of WW''s handle is an upside down U!

It is the perfect place for green beanie to live, the diameter of the handle is smaller than green beanie so the wool is not stretched and the shape of the U means the sides are kept away from each other, plus, she'll always know where it is! Green beanie sorted.

Now onto Paul Hollywood's magic hands..

You would have to be completely uninterested in food, the making of food or without a television in order not to know who this man is. He is a Master Baker and to watch him last night on BBC2....

Yes, I know, we double dosed on two food programmes last night, first there was the last semi-final heat of Professional Masterchef and then a Christmas Bakeoff with Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood.

Back to watching him last night.. he made a Christmas tree out of Chelsea Buns and a Pandoro, this is an Italian cake eaten at Christmas time, Mary did two deserts, all four desserts were stars in their own right and fabulous!

What was especially fabulous was, or is, to watch him making dough.. the ingredients go into a big bowl and are mixed, he removes the dough, flours his work surface and pure magic begins!

From being just a lump of flour, fat, eggs & liquid it grows into a living organism! He works it and to watch him work dough is marvellous, puts it into a bowl, covers it, allowing it to proof and grow, doubling almost twice in size, takes it out and works it again, then, in the case of the pandoro, shapes it slightly into a V shape to fit into the baking tin, gives it a push so that it fits properly, into the oven it goes and .. HEY PRESTO.. no, not hey-li-cheese.. it's hey-li-cake!

Out it comes, this uniquely shaped cake.. he cut it and arranged the slices and dusted it with icing sugar and now, it only leaves me to ask you this question.. "do you prefer to eat Milanese Pannetone or Veronese Pandoro at Christmas time?"

GeeGee Parrot.
December 18th, 2015.