Greetings Dear Reader. I trust YOU have all been hard at work doing what ever your work is?
The Tale I am about to tell spans FIVE, yes, five decades and starts off in Kent with Hugo and Victoria, if YOU read MY Blog Posts regularly YOU should not have to have it explained to you as to who those names refer to.
It was back in the days when, if you worked in the 'city', you wore a dark suit and Hugo was no exception. Remember the dark bit... Victoria adored Hugo, she jurst LURVED him with a passion which involved getting tremendously over excited when she saw him return from the city at the end of the day. She would RUSH to greet him with joyful bleats but Hugo would put his hands out and say "yes yes, you are such a good girl but stay there", how strange, he always cuddles me, thought Victoria, but Dear Reader, YOU have worked it out haven't you, if not, I'll explain it, dark suit + white goat = white goat hair ALL over dark suit..
He would go and change and come down and then make a HUGE fuss of her.. oh, she jurst lurved that man. And he was 'pretty' fond of her too.
So much so, that one Saturday after lunch, Hugo decided to go to Tenterden by himself and whistling for the dogs, he found that SHE and Constance had gone up into the orchards to pick cherries taking Balu and Ricky with them. Quite why Victoria was left behind was not obvious but she looked at the car and bleated, Hugo wasn't a stupid man and he spoke fluent Goat, so he said "yes, you can come" and off they went.
Unfortunately, for Hugo, he forgot Victoria's lead, she wore a collar and walked to heel and he didn't know that Constance NEVER left Victoria alone in little van, she was either with the two dogs in the back of little van or with Constance on the lead. I know YOU are wondering why she was never left alone, don't worry, sadly it will soon be all too apparent.
Hugo went to the shoe mender, the butcher to order some the meat for a dinner party and the art shop for some supplies, then he fell amongst thieves but knowing that he had left a window open, he stopped to have a cup of tea with John Bryon, who ran an Interior Design shop on the High Street.
After an hour, he said his goodbyes and made his way back to little van. But what was this? Little van appeared to have a frilly curtain hanging down inside the window! And Victoria was sitting IN the driver's seat.... looking pretty smug and Goaty-beyond-belief!
Hugo was devastated.. for Victoria, whose threshold of boredom was at floor level, had become extremely bored with being left by herself and using her very clever upper lip had nibbled and unpicked the roof lining away from the metal and it was hanging down all the way around little van.
Oh dear, Dear Reader, for YOU see 'little van' was Constance's van and she was NOT going to be at all happy, it was Saturday afternoon and the garage repair man closed at 1 o'clock.
They were both in Constance's (very) Black Book for several days.
Fast forward to the 1990's, and SHE and Dagga Parrot were living the life of Riley. Hugo, sadly had died in 1981 and SHE had received the piece of furniture which he had given her when SHE was very young. It is, for SHE has it still, a charming little Queen Anne Oak desk and it sat in HER sitting room with HER Great Grandmother's clock on it with other pretty things.
One day, SHE, too, fell amongst thieves and came home very late. SHE wasn't worried as SHE knew that there was fresh water and a lot of Dagga-Parrot-food for him but SHE had forgotten about the level of boredom...
Actually SHE didn't see the damage until the next morning when SHE went to wind the clock. Oh dear oh dear, for the back of the little, very valuable, Queen Anne desk had been munched. I defy anyone to 'nibble' English Oak which is nearly three hundred years old, Dagga Parrot had given that poor little desk a good munching and the munched oak pieces were lying on the floor behind the desk.
SHE was sad, SHE was sad because the desk had been munched, SHE was very sad because Dagga Parrot had NEVER done anything 'norty' before and SHE was extra sad that HE had been so sad and lonely that HE felt he HAD to munch the poor little Queen Anne Desk.
Everyone was dreadfully sad.. Dagga Parrot then realised that HE had munched something that was very valuable to HER not just in financial terms but valuable because Hugo had given it to HER for HER seventh birthday when the family were living in Dublin.
The mood in the house was pretty 'quiet' for a week or two.
Then I arrive in the 2000's.. and I get a visit from Dagga-Parrot-spirit-in-the-sky, he tipped ME the wink and told ME lots of secret stuff about HER, after all, they were together for nearly seventeen years so HE knew HER very well. But because the desk was the ONLY think HE had ever munched and SHE had forgiven HIM and THEY had forgotten about it, HE didn't think to give ME any strict or severe warnings on munchings or nibblings.
And now I have to raise MY wing.. for I am an addict, I am addicted to cardboard and paper. But worst still, for those of YOU who have read MY Profile this will come as NO shock or surprise, I am absolutely hooked on Hard Backed Books.. it is the spines, I really just can't help it, for they sit there within a beaks-nibbly-nibbly reach on the shelf above the kitchen door.
How was I to know they were HER serious Design and Gardening reference books.. they are /were delicious, a little nibble here and little nibble there.. but I got smacked today. Not really, but SHE picked up that dreaded egg whisk and I had to flap a very swift flight to the pole above the front door and try to get HER to change the subject.
"A little nibble here, a big munch there, here a nibble, there a nibble, everywhere a nibble nibble", it actually goes quite well to the tune of 'Old MacGregor's Got a Farm'.... whoops, I hope SHE didn't hear ME whistle that?
SHE has been working in the kitchen and used all the hot water, so I'll get her to send this whilst Boiler does his boiling job. Back to the Studio tomorrow, WE are looking forward to hearing how Lovely Assistant's dinner at The Dorchester went with his parents on Friday night. Did he remember to take a 'Parrot Bag' home with him, I wonder?
GeeGee Parrot.
January 30th, 2012.
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