Question.. How do you make God laugh? Answer.. Tell Him your plans!
Her day changed at half past ten of the morning clock when Carol, with whom she was supposed to be doing things of a culture-vulture nature at three of the afternoon clock, telephoned with no voice to say "sorry, in bed, cannot make it".
Change of plan, for the grass trimmer that she had bought on Saturday at the Kensington branch of Homebase was faulty, it would not lock together.
She tried to call them, no answer, grrr. So she called their head office and spoke to an extremely efficient and kind woman called Sue to whom she explained the problem, Sue said that she would call them on their internal direct line and call her back.
Well, she had no luck either! The Kensington branch of Homebase was not picking up any of their telephones! But clever Sue had rung another branch in Battersea and reserved one in her name.
Loading the useless one into old Wicker, off they went to York Road. There, sure enough, was one that had been reserved, a kind man took the new one out of the box, snapped it together, she unsnapped it and made sure that she could do it, as there is nothing worse than being in the midst of nowhere with tools that don't or won't work.
They smiled at each other and off she went to catch a series of buses that would take her out to the allotments.
The previous day she had bought a petrol can and a little bit of petrol, very little bit both in quantity and in monetary value.. 55p's worth to be precise!
Finally she arrived at the allotment and gave a 'wolfish' grin at the long grass who was and had been living the life of old Riley ever since last October.
Out with the 2 stroke oil, chug-a-lug with the petrol into a mixing can, filled the trimmer, primed it, put on goggles, switched it to full choke and vroom, it fired on the first pull. Oh, happiness is a new machine that works properly!
She thought that she would only be able to do half of the grass as she had so little petrol, but to her absolute amazement, she did the four plots, the wide path between her and Brett's plot and the outside edge to all four of her plots.. all for 55p!
Yeah.. for not only did it fire first time, it is also extremely economical! It is heavy though, not surprising as it is a 30cc model and more powerful than her trimmer which the thieving bastards stole last year.
There is an attachment that she could buy which cuts through anything, maybe she could buy one with a voucher than a lovely friend had sent her for Christmas? Book or Garden Vouchers are such a great idea for friends.
Her back told her, when she had finished, that it was tired. She was not surprised, for it is tiring work trimming grass, ducking under trees, fiddling about. The muscles said "yes, we know what you want us to do but it is a long time since we have done this, so we are going to be stiff tomorrow".
Tomorrow? Huh, they gave her gip on the bus when she left the plot at 5.30!
When she wished that she had another layer of clothing on, for the sky was cloudy, there was a cool breeze and the temperature was lower than the previous two days.. today promised to be a cooler day and overcast.
Sure enough, old sun was having a day off today. She stayed at home and spent the day potting up and moving baby seedlings out of seed trays into coir pots.
Stiff? Oh yes, she was very stiff and was happy not to be doing those movements that gardeners do when they are working.
I spent the day being, I regret to say, my most annoying! I was, you see, very pleased to have her at home. I 'rang' both the landline telephone and her mobile, I barked, I miaowed, I whistled one of my two tunes incessantly. Then I did the stupidest thing, I got carried away and shinned up onto the hard back books.
The silence gave me away, she turned around, saw no fat grey figure perched on the top of YumYum HQ's door and shouted "get off the books".
I came sliding down, but it was too late.. ugh.. for the evidence was there on the carpet, little snippets of book cover.
She reached up her hand, I stepped down on to it, (I thought it wise to behave), she brought old Beaky up towards her face and said in this really gruesome tone of voice.. "one day, I will beat you to death with a wet lettuce".
And I was told to fly away and to go and sit on pole above front door and to keep away from her books.
Luckily, she does not keep old grudge around, for soon it was time to prepare delicious things to eat and I was allowed back to sit inside YumYum HQ and able to watch what was a'cooking.
Phew, that was a close shave, if only their spines were not so crunchy, sigh.
Tomorrow is Dentist day, the model of her new tooth fitted perfectly, tomorrow is the day when he will fit it for her and teach her how to remove it.. yes, folks, she will have a false tooth!
No, she is not having implants, yes, I know they are all the rage and seem to be the answer but having a cousin who is a Professor of Dental Surgery she knows a little about what can and does, sometimes, go wrong, very wrong.
He, her Dentist, is a clever and nice man, she always says "BIG thank you's" to Karen who was kind and recommended him to her.
It is an early night for us, let us hope that she sleeps better than last night when her grumpy back muscles moaned and complained about over-use, silly things, don't they know it is Spring time and that the grass has to be cut? Shape up there.
Well, how would they like to be threatened with death by a wet lettuce? Huh, I think not, for I call that the ultimate threat, don't you?
GeeGee Parrot.
March 18th, 2014.
Her day changed at half past ten of the morning clock when Carol, with whom she was supposed to be doing things of a culture-vulture nature at three of the afternoon clock, telephoned with no voice to say "sorry, in bed, cannot make it".
Change of plan, for the grass trimmer that she had bought on Saturday at the Kensington branch of Homebase was faulty, it would not lock together.
She tried to call them, no answer, grrr. So she called their head office and spoke to an extremely efficient and kind woman called Sue to whom she explained the problem, Sue said that she would call them on their internal direct line and call her back.
Well, she had no luck either! The Kensington branch of Homebase was not picking up any of their telephones! But clever Sue had rung another branch in Battersea and reserved one in her name.
Loading the useless one into old Wicker, off they went to York Road. There, sure enough, was one that had been reserved, a kind man took the new one out of the box, snapped it together, she unsnapped it and made sure that she could do it, as there is nothing worse than being in the midst of nowhere with tools that don't or won't work.
They smiled at each other and off she went to catch a series of buses that would take her out to the allotments.
The previous day she had bought a petrol can and a little bit of petrol, very little bit both in quantity and in monetary value.. 55p's worth to be precise!
Finally she arrived at the allotment and gave a 'wolfish' grin at the long grass who was and had been living the life of old Riley ever since last October.
Out with the 2 stroke oil, chug-a-lug with the petrol into a mixing can, filled the trimmer, primed it, put on goggles, switched it to full choke and vroom, it fired on the first pull. Oh, happiness is a new machine that works properly!
She thought that she would only be able to do half of the grass as she had so little petrol, but to her absolute amazement, she did the four plots, the wide path between her and Brett's plot and the outside edge to all four of her plots.. all for 55p!
Yeah.. for not only did it fire first time, it is also extremely economical! It is heavy though, not surprising as it is a 30cc model and more powerful than her trimmer which the thieving bastards stole last year.
There is an attachment that she could buy which cuts through anything, maybe she could buy one with a voucher than a lovely friend had sent her for Christmas? Book or Garden Vouchers are such a great idea for friends.
Her back told her, when she had finished, that it was tired. She was not surprised, for it is tiring work trimming grass, ducking under trees, fiddling about. The muscles said "yes, we know what you want us to do but it is a long time since we have done this, so we are going to be stiff tomorrow".
Tomorrow? Huh, they gave her gip on the bus when she left the plot at 5.30!
When she wished that she had another layer of clothing on, for the sky was cloudy, there was a cool breeze and the temperature was lower than the previous two days.. today promised to be a cooler day and overcast.
Sure enough, old sun was having a day off today. She stayed at home and spent the day potting up and moving baby seedlings out of seed trays into coir pots.
Stiff? Oh yes, she was very stiff and was happy not to be doing those movements that gardeners do when they are working.
I spent the day being, I regret to say, my most annoying! I was, you see, very pleased to have her at home. I 'rang' both the landline telephone and her mobile, I barked, I miaowed, I whistled one of my two tunes incessantly. Then I did the stupidest thing, I got carried away and shinned up onto the hard back books.
The silence gave me away, she turned around, saw no fat grey figure perched on the top of YumYum HQ's door and shouted "get off the books".
I came sliding down, but it was too late.. ugh.. for the evidence was there on the carpet, little snippets of book cover.
She reached up her hand, I stepped down on to it, (I thought it wise to behave), she brought old Beaky up towards her face and said in this really gruesome tone of voice.. "one day, I will beat you to death with a wet lettuce".
And I was told to fly away and to go and sit on pole above front door and to keep away from her books.
Luckily, she does not keep old grudge around, for soon it was time to prepare delicious things to eat and I was allowed back to sit inside YumYum HQ and able to watch what was a'cooking.
Phew, that was a close shave, if only their spines were not so crunchy, sigh.
Tomorrow is Dentist day, the model of her new tooth fitted perfectly, tomorrow is the day when he will fit it for her and teach her how to remove it.. yes, folks, she will have a false tooth!
No, she is not having implants, yes, I know they are all the rage and seem to be the answer but having a cousin who is a Professor of Dental Surgery she knows a little about what can and does, sometimes, go wrong, very wrong.
He, her Dentist, is a clever and nice man, she always says "BIG thank you's" to Karen who was kind and recommended him to her.
It is an early night for us, let us hope that she sleeps better than last night when her grumpy back muscles moaned and complained about over-use, silly things, don't they know it is Spring time and that the grass has to be cut? Shape up there.
Well, how would they like to be threatened with death by a wet lettuce? Huh, I think not, for I call that the ultimate threat, don't you?
GeeGee Parrot.
March 18th, 2014.
This is a really FUN read, GeeGee! & yes I do believe you at least a good thrashing with a wet lettuce.
ReplyDeleteBut Aunt Diane.. it is those crunchy spines.. they whisper to me.. we are so tasty! What am I to do?
ReplyDelete