And a very good morning to YOU all.
I have been laughing to MYSELF as I was told something SO pompous the other day, the poor mother of the idiot who voiced the remark about another woman, was seen to shudder when told what her daughter had said. Constance used to describe the daughter in the following way "jumped up, never come down", she had known the family for a VERY long time and felt sorry for charming parents that had a daughter whose head was so full of her own importance...
Anyway, back to subject matter... Subject Matter is Hair or in MY case, Feather washing...
Oh, I HATE that shower in the bath, in fact, I hate the bath full stop, I spelt it for you to make sure YOU realised how much I hate it... it is TOO big for ME and I fear I look ridiculous. And YOU know I don't like to do that! I can just tolerate the hand basin but what I really prefer is the kitchen sink.. strange but true.
I mean, why not, it is, after all, MY favourite room in our house! THE YUMYUM HQ as it were.
I like a shower now and again as when I grow new feathers they come through with a protective layer of hard skin over the shaft. This has to break off in order for MY feathers to fully expand to their true glory. And the 'skin' breaks off in tiny, tiny pieces and makes me look dusty, I can't have that. So a bath or a shower is the way to get rid of the dust and keep ME in perfect plumage.
MY HUGE water bowls are, in fact, full sized Souffle dishes, they hold a lot of water and if SHE hasn't given ME a bath in the kitchen what I do is plunge in and out of MY water dishes... this actually is much more fun than HER giving ME a bath. For sometimes, when old wind gets under Tail and I feel-bit-above-station, I am sneaky and wait until SHE comes into the room, I duck MY whole head into the water, get MY feathers well and truly soaked and then I fling MY head in HER direction.
OH... the squeal as the icy water hits the mark is well worth the odd rude word SHE says about MY parentage... Parrot 10 ... Human wet!
But back to baths and showers... yes, kitchen sink is the best place. The base is flat, the shower is not to big or powerful and it mixes well so the temperature is perfect... I shut MY eyes and let the water stream over me, lift up WING one at a time, do a little jiggle about to get TAIL wet and enjoy being taken care of and fuss being made of ME .. it is very nice to have fuss being made of one but the BEST is yet to come.... hahaha.
For YOU must be wondering HOW do I get dry when I am so wet... "SIMPLES" as my VERY DEAR FRIENDS The Meerkat Family say "Simples", SHE has a HAIRDRYER and Oh Heavens-to-Mergatroid, HOW I jurst LURVE that warm air rushing through MY feathers.. Infact, I confess that even when I am NOT wet and SHE is drying HER own hair, I make a bit of a flap-about to make HER send ME a blast or two of that COLD air... BLISS.
And now YOU are wondering about MY claiming friendship with The Meerkat Family. I bet YOU think I am telling a-gross-porky-number aka Gross Fib.. no, I am not and so here is the TALE.
This is a grand Parrot Tale and involves MY Hatcher, generally known as Beck. MY Parrot parents live in Northern Emgland on a huge farm owned by Beck's family. US Parrots live in huge outside wired aviaries with breeding boxes and two fields away from OUR field is another field which looks as if Beck or one of the men trashed it with a JCB digger.
Which is exactly what they did do, then they tipped in tons of sand and rocks and made the 'nice green and pleasant English field' look like a bit of the Kalahari Desert... for guess who came to live in the depths of the English Countryside... why, none other than a couple of pairs of breeding Meerkats and oh boy, did they take to Shropshire like a duck to water..
Also on the farm are the 'Tropicanas'... WHO are they? I can hear YOU say, don't you remember the six HUGE Amazon Macaws who were on Television advising Tropicana Fruit Juice?
Beck bred them and although they 'belong' to Tropicana Ltd they will always live with Beck and her family, then there is Sydney, a Hyacinth Macaw.. you just wait until YOU see pictures of him.. MY word, he is an enormous Parrot! Then Mr. Owl, who is famous beyond belief because of being a Film Star! Yes, he starred in a series of films about a boy called Harry Potter...
I kid-YOU-not.. I have very famous 'brothers and sisters, WE call ourselves that as WE were ALL Becks Babies... this is why I am not shy, I met a huge amount of very famous people when I lived there. Beck and a couple of the girls hand reared me, I 'chose' HER when SHE came up to see US when I was nine weeks old, then SHE came back again to collect ME in November 2004 and WE drove down to London and I have lived with HER since then.
Now it is time to do which I am not keen on, in fact, I have been quietly proof reading as SHE wrote this.. but I have to confess even I think it is time to go to B-E-D.. Hate saying that word, yes, I KNOW it is very childish... but guess what, I am a child, I am only seven and a bit, WE Parrots live for the same length of time / years as YOU guys, about sixty to seventy years, so give ME a break, I am a child and I don't like going to bed, I might miss something, I don't know what but something might be missed.
But I go all the same.. SHE's bigger than I am and pretty strict, that is why when when I am sitting on her head proof reading I am quieter than a mouse.
But before I go to bed.. I am going to put YOU out of YOUR misery and tell YOU what pompous woman said... I hope it amuses YOU as much as it did me.. for it is beyond "jumped up, never come down.. ".
She described another woman as "someone who washed their own hair"...
Yawn.
GeeGee Parrot.
February 1st, 2012.
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