A Stomach Ulcer.. who knew?

Oooohhh.. Dear Readers.. such going's on, I hardly know where to start! I suppose from top or beginning is best place.

SHE rang and rang 'that' clinic.. there was NO response, so despite feeling truly gruesome beyond belief, SHE went down hole at South Kensington, popped up, went to Clinic Reception and in a very crokey voice explained about HER throat.

A VERY young and extremely arrogant man said "well, if you do not take this appointment because you say you are feeling unwell, it will be eight weeks before next available date".. SHE repeated him, "eight weeks?.. I don't think so, I will get MY notes transferred and go to another hospital, goodbye" and off SHE went, leaving him with his mouth open.

Got on bus feeling ghastly.. young man called HER on mobile and said "you have to come back here and be examined and if you do not, all your treatment will be cancelled".. SHE got off bus, caught one going back and re-entered hospital in an extremely bad temper, HER head ached, SHE was feeling hot, sick and tired, not a happy woman!

SHE proceeded to tell young arrogant piece of nonsense that SHE had never been so badly treated by anyone in medical profession and that as HER relative was head of a Hospital department in Yorkshire, they would do everything for her and SHE went to leave.. suddenly out of blue appeared a very chic woman who said "what appears to be problem?"

SHE explained and woman said "I have had a cancellation tomorrow at 1pm, please don't eat or drink anything for 6 hours before your Gastroscopy, I will see you then, is that ok?".

Yeah! Holey Moley..

SHE came home, swallowed pain killer, throat syrup and went to sleep, got up, made and drank soup and dived back under quilt.. talk about a nest! All I could see was a bit of hair sticking out at top of bed.. so being of an adventurous nature, I flew onto bed and found a spot where quilt was raised.

HeeHee.. oh, Dear Reader, it gave HER an almighty shock when I nibbled HER leg!

I climbed up on leg, turned left, onto thigh, across waist, onto arm and suddenly there was HER head and a smiley face, SHE said that I was very clever and quite cute.. (quite) uh.

Yes, WE spent rest of day lolling about, or rather I lolled, SHE slept for most of time.

Next day, NO break of night's fast for HER, not even a hot drink.. I felt quite quilty as I gobbled MY repast and thought how hungry and thirsty SHE must feel.

SHE left early, went down hole at South Kensington again and arrived at Hospital. Young arrogant man was all false-jokey-smiley-face.. ugh. Theatre Nurse came for HER at 1pm, SHE filled in forms, answered questions, had blood pressure taken, LOW..

Very nice smiley Doctor Geoff came and collected HER and took HER to mini theatre.. small group of technicians, SHE confirmed to him "No, I am not having sedation", he warned HER that taste of spray to numb mouth and throat was disgustingly vile, nurse fitted mouth guard and off they went..

Down HER throat went all seeing camera on flexible tube, smiley Doctor Geoff said "wow, YOU are amazing, not a gag or retch, well done, I am now in your stomach and interestingly, I can see that YOU have had a massive Ulcer but that it is healing itself! There is some other stuff as well, now I am coming out, it is all finished" and with that, camera tubing was out of HER mouth.

They raised bed up and Doctor Geoff asked her.. "what have YOU been drinking or taking that is different in the last couple of months? Something has caused that Ulcer to start healing itself".. SHE thought carefully and replied "Doctor Geoff, all I can think of is I have been drinking pure Beet Juice, also Turkish Oregano Water diluted in lots of water as is very strong and Swedish Bitters for MY digestion".

He nodded and said "I have taken a Biopsy and also from somewhere else, have YOU noticed a burning or sick feeling / sensation in your throat" again SHE replied "yes, not every day but sometimes I feel sick for no reason".

Doctor Geoff explained what was causing it and then Hannah, charming nurse, took HER to recuperation room saying "stay for as long as you like, I will be in every 10 minutes to check on you and will make you a drink in 30 minutes"..

Such a relief.. such a nice medical team, considerate, everything explained, immaculately clean recup room was quiet, SHE took out HER book and sat.. nasty taste was lessening in HER mouth, it reminded of Bananas in some weird way mixed with something like Bitter Aloes, ugh but it had done its' trick.

Hannah returned several times and then asked HER if SHE wanted a drink.. "tea would be delicious" SHE said.

Doctor Geoff appeared with papers, he said that he wanted HER to have another proceedure within a week, this time SHE would swallow a capsule, they would put a belt around HER waist for 24 hours, capsule is a camera and it would send images to disks on belt, this would go all through HER intestines so they could have exact knowledge of what was there. "How about next Thursday at 08.00am?"

SHE nearly choked on HER tea! He sat down and went through HER medical notes, he apologised for several things that had happened which had been badly done or handled incorrectly and said "this is very new technology and I am pleased that we can do this for you, see you next week", he shook HER hand, gave HER an envelope full of papers and Hannah arrived to walk HER out.

From hating everyone at this Hospital, chic woman and Doctor Geoff and his team had saved THE day!

SHE caught bus and got off at North End Road Market.. for indeedy, Dear Readers, SHE knew exactly with what SHE was going to beak HER fast.. oh yes.. off to Dickenson's HER lubbly-jubbly Butchers and SHE was going to cook HER favourite, yes, Calves Liver.. scrummydumptious yumyum.

And then to bed.. for SHE had not slept well and relief of knowing that SOMEBODY had their eye on 'the' ball aka HER health .. was mighty good.

WE had Calves Liver pan fried with Sage and some Semolina done with Beef stock.

SHE went to HER nest.. I took off in opposite direction for MY new favourite place.. above cupboard in bathroom, where I spent a few quiet hours thinking about things that WE African Grey Parrots think about.. that I was grateful to Doctor Geoff and his team for treating MY mama so well.

Gratitude.. and gratefullness, are YOU grateful Dear Reader? I know someone who is, that is Joanna Darcy, who writes HER excellent Blog 'La Vie en Rose', with her new knee joint.

GeeGee Parrot.
July 21st, 2012.