The circumstances of this Tale happened the week before last and she had struck it from her mind for it was such a sad occasion that she no longer wished to 'dwell' upon it. But yesterday she talked with Debbie.. aka Goaty Mum.. about forbidden toast and their love of it.
Forbidden? Yes, for you see the two of them are allergic to barley, rye and wheat. So, no toast for these women but it get's worse, Dear Readers, read on, for my mum is, of course, unable to eat potatoes.
So think thee upon the ingredients of goodly things that you drink and I am not talking about tea or coffee! No sirree, I am talking of Beer.. Guinness Stout (sobsob).. Gin.. Vodka.. Whisky.. Whiskey.. (Irish Whiskey has an e before the y) for those are made mostly of grain and or potatoes!
Of course, thank goodness, Armagnac.. Brandy.. Calvados.. Champagne.. Rum and Wine are not and are left for happy slurping out of pretty glassware. Thank God.
But let us slip back in time to that week before last and zoom out to the gigantic Sainsburys in the Brewery Square in Romford. She was in the mega-store collecting a couple of packets of dried chick peas with which to make my hummus and whilst doing this, she had the following thought "Gluten Free! Oh wow, gluten free bagels", for she had come across a shelf of gluten free products made by a company called Genius.
A pack of these plopped into her basket together with the chick peas. She caught a train back to London. Oh, the excitement of it! She positively whizzed home and after greeting me, kissing Beaky and taking off her coat, she dived into her tidy, store cupboard to find the toaster. 'Toaster!', I thought, 'we don't eat toast in this house, I haven't even sniffed a crust for months'. She cleaned it, placed it on the top of the fridge and plugged it in, ready for the morrow!
The next morning she boiled our eggs and took my pot of hummus from the fridge. We ate our eggs and I moved onto hummus whilst she sliced a bagel and popped it into the toaster. Dear Readers, you see when you love bread / toast as much as she does, you just have to imagine the amount of intense anticipation that was building in YumYum HQ.
Plucking out the toasted bagel, she put a plop of delicious Goaty Curd onto one half and took a big munch but to her horror, her mouth and tongue went 'DANGER DANGER.. POISON POISON.. SPIT IT OUT NOW!', she turned to the kitchen sink and spat out the mouthful of bagel!
"GeeGee, what the hell was that all about?" and turned to pick up the packet to look at the list of the ingredients.. "NOOOO.. I can't believe it, they're made with potatoes!"
Yesterday Debbie and she spoke of bread & toast, sigh. I know, it's pretty sad. For they're grown-up women but think about this if you will, of not being able to nibble a biscuit, or crunch a toasty crusy bread or sip an ice cold vodka. To never eat another piece of pizza or gnocchi or savour an aged Malt Whisky and if you do..
Your stomach goes into severe spasm, you get acute acid reflux, your joints swell.. and your little red toaster goes back into storage.
GeeGee Parrot.
December 4th, 2016.
Forbidden? Yes, for you see the two of them are allergic to barley, rye and wheat. So, no toast for these women but it get's worse, Dear Readers, read on, for my mum is, of course, unable to eat potatoes.
So think thee upon the ingredients of goodly things that you drink and I am not talking about tea or coffee! No sirree, I am talking of Beer.. Guinness Stout (sobsob).. Gin.. Vodka.. Whisky.. Whiskey.. (Irish Whiskey has an e before the y) for those are made mostly of grain and or potatoes!
Of course, thank goodness, Armagnac.. Brandy.. Calvados.. Champagne.. Rum and Wine are not and are left for happy slurping out of pretty glassware. Thank God.
But let us slip back in time to that week before last and zoom out to the gigantic Sainsburys in the Brewery Square in Romford. She was in the mega-store collecting a couple of packets of dried chick peas with which to make my hummus and whilst doing this, she had the following thought "Gluten Free! Oh wow, gluten free bagels", for she had come across a shelf of gluten free products made by a company called Genius.
A pack of these plopped into her basket together with the chick peas. She caught a train back to London. Oh, the excitement of it! She positively whizzed home and after greeting me, kissing Beaky and taking off her coat, she dived into her tidy, store cupboard to find the toaster. 'Toaster!', I thought, 'we don't eat toast in this house, I haven't even sniffed a crust for months'. She cleaned it, placed it on the top of the fridge and plugged it in, ready for the morrow!
The next morning she boiled our eggs and took my pot of hummus from the fridge. We ate our eggs and I moved onto hummus whilst she sliced a bagel and popped it into the toaster. Dear Readers, you see when you love bread / toast as much as she does, you just have to imagine the amount of intense anticipation that was building in YumYum HQ.
Plucking out the toasted bagel, she put a plop of delicious Goaty Curd onto one half and took a big munch but to her horror, her mouth and tongue went 'DANGER DANGER.. POISON POISON.. SPIT IT OUT NOW!', she turned to the kitchen sink and spat out the mouthful of bagel!
"GeeGee, what the hell was that all about?" and turned to pick up the packet to look at the list of the ingredients.. "NOOOO.. I can't believe it, they're made with potatoes!"
Yesterday Debbie and she spoke of bread & toast, sigh. I know, it's pretty sad. For they're grown-up women but think about this if you will, of not being able to nibble a biscuit, or crunch a toasty crusy bread or sip an ice cold vodka. To never eat another piece of pizza or gnocchi or savour an aged Malt Whisky and if you do..
Your stomach goes into severe spasm, you get acute acid reflux, your joints swell.. and your little red toaster goes back into storage.
GeeGee Parrot.
December 4th, 2016.
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