2016.. FAREWELL, ADIEU.. AUF WIEDERSEIN.. GOODBYE!

Well folks.. mes amis.. Dear Readers. It's the evening of the last night of 2016 and we should be out having a good time BUT, we ain't. No, because she's in bed.. all because of a woman wanted to go out and not sit with her sick child at home.

She got the child up and took him out, she freely admitted that he wasn't very well. Not very well! The child looked half dead and was desperately pale.

Three days later she went down with a cracking virus which has given her a filthy cold in her head, sore aching bones and a temperature that goes up and down like a yoyo!

But we had such a lovely visit this afternoon! For Poppy, Freddie, Charlotte and, their mother, Faith did a very quick pit-stop to pick up a LOT of stuff that mum has collected for them. Plus, she gave away her cork board.

This board used to be the place where everything that was important was pinned. But we don't have anything important going on these days and she's given it to the children for them to pin all of their important things.

So here we are, she hasn't posted since Christmas Day because her eyes have been sore and she's not been on-line very often. Which means, of course, we missed the anniversary of my blog. But I am sure that you'll forgive us.

We wish you, whoever you are and wherever you are, the happiest of happy new years and we hope that you'll be back sometimes in 2017 to read my Tales of a Parrot.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 31st, 2016.

CHRISTMAS GREETINGS & A TRIP TO BOROUGH MARKET.

"Please come to Borough on either Friday or Saturday and bring WW with you" was the message from Debbie.. aka Goaty Mum. Friday she was being a tiny cog in a very large wheel of volunteers and so it was yesterday in the morning that she took a bottle of something non-alcoholic, a bar of White Toblerone (who knew it even existed!) and after kissing Beaky, she and WW left for Borough.

Ooh, lots of folk about! A huge amount of foreign tourists milling about not quite knowing where to go next, so she sent a bunch of FIFTY Japanese to Westfield at Stratford, knowing that would keep them all entertained and fed on what was a cold and damp day!

She slipped onto the Jubilee Line as well and got out at London Bridge with the Japanese all waving and shouting "Thank you" at her as she left the carriage. Such a great connection.. zoom, it is only four very quick stops and you're there, by bus, it would take ages!

Borough Market was heaving with tourists and last minute shoppers!

She slipped in the back way and appeared like a genie at the side of the Ellie's Goat Stall.. piles of delicious cheese greeted her plus two, slightly weary looking, friends Debbie and Joe. Getting up at the crack of dawn every day, milking, bottling, making cheese, feeding goats.. it ain't a life for the faint hearted folks. It fact it ain't an easy life for any farmer, whether they be farming arable or stock.

She kissed her friends and produced the bottle, which upon inspection, it would not heat up well.. it was Fizzy Lingonberry & Apple from Mr. Ikea. Joe was asked to nick three glasses from Boisdales. 

They toasted each other and then Debbie said "Ah good, you've brought Wicker Wheelie, I'll go and get your presents from the van" and disappeared.

Mum flogged some curd and didn't see Debbie reappear until she said "Happy Christmas" to her and she turned to see.. two metal tubes sticking out of WW's basket! Metal tubes that looked suspiciously like the two halves of a trimmer! 

"WHAT, no, you haven't, you got me the trimmer?" She said 'the' trimmer because 'Master Mechanic' David who knows all about things like trimmers and hedge cutters, had tried to mend her old one but had pronounced its' disease incurable and that he had recommended another which was sold by an agent in Kent. And here it was! Tried and tested by David himself to make sure that it worked. 

"And there's a bag of goodies in there as well, no peeking until tomorrow" said Debbie. 

Now it get it home.. without frightening everyone who saw it! The giant Lidl bag came out of WW and was unpended over the 'scary' metal tubes and after kissing everyone again, off she went.

The trip was uneventful, until she got to Green Park where several armed Policemen where very much in evidence. You can't get WW through the small barriers and so she had to go up to the big barrier where one VERY large Metropolitan cop was standing holding his gun. 

He surely had xray eyes for as she stopped to get her pass out of her pocket, he asked her "What's under the bag Miss" and she said "a Christmas present of a grass trimmer" and pulled off the bag to expose the two parts. He looked at the trimmer with a straight face and said "Well, that's just what a real 'girl' needs for Christmas, isn't it, what have you got, a wild garden or an allotment? Happy Christmas Eve Miss". 

She wished him and his family the same, picked up WW and walked up the steps onto Piccadilly. Yes, Piccadilly! For the road that runs from Hyde Park Corner upto Piccadilly Cicus IS Piccadilly.

She came home squeaking with excitement about trimmers but.. unlike when she was a child, she did NOT open the bag that was in WW, nor did she investigate further the trimmer, infact, I think she's finally growing up, for there is a gift from her much beloved Pat which has been sitting on her desk in the bedroom for two weeks and she hasn't even given it as much as a squeeze!

It is time to get up and start our day. With coffee and scrambled eggs with delicious curd and smoked salmon. Then we will sit and she'll read the instructions of the trimmer, see what's in Debbie's bag, she'll open Pats' gift and at 2.00pm we are going upstairs to Les Filles for Christmas lunch.

I do hope that whomever you are, wherever you are and whatever religion you are, accept that just as you celebrate your religious holidays, you realise we mean no offence when we say "Happy Christmas to you all" because, after all, she is a Christian and we celebrate this day, the symbolic day of the Birth of Christ.

GeeGee Parrot.

December 25th, 2016.

PostScript: I do hope she doesn't plan to give me a Chrismas bath.

BUT DID YOU SEE HER SLIPPERS!

I'm 'slightly' glad that we are not spending the Christmas holidays with friends, we were invited but she had already made committments and had accepted an invitation, so we are spending the nights in our own home and this, Dear Readers.. aka mes amis.. is what the 'slightly' is all about!

For her winter dressing gown and her bedroom slippers are, well, they're pretty strange (to say the least).

This dressing gown is older than I am and dates from 1996, gosh, exactly twenty years ago today! She was spending the Christmas holidays in Fredericksburg, Texas. No, I don't expect you to know where this is, suffice to say it's North East of Austin, up in the Hill Country and is a very charming place.

Dagga Parrot and Peter Pigeon were staying with good friends whom they liked very much and she was in America for both work and fun. She kept a wardrobe of clothes in New York so she didn't have to drag heavy suitcases back and forth but she didn't have a cosy warm dressing gown.

The day before Christmas Eve, the weather turned cold and it rained, not a good combination as ice lay thick and wickedly upon everything and only essential traffic was advised. 608 East Creek was a charming house and with log fires in most room it was very snug but she needed a thick gown.

So off up the road she walked to Walmart's, which was quite a long walk but it was dry underfoot and she was well dressed. She got there and went to the clothing dept. Only to find that everyone else in town had had the same idea and all that was left was a fleece gown.

'Splendid' she said and paid $7.50, reduced from she cannot remember what. "Your child will love that" said the sales clerk and they wished each other a "Happy Christmas" and she walked home. I can hear you think 'Why did the sales clerk say that?

Well.. the fleece is scarlet, full length to her ankles, has a ribbed collar and cuffs and is veryvery snug making BUT.. it has black 'Scotty' dogs allover it.. need I say more?

And yesterday she was in the North End Road heading for her hairdressers to give her much loved Anissa a gift of Crystallised Ginger. She spoke to all the usual suspects on her way through and then a sign in a shop window caught her eye.. two pairs of slippers for £8.00.. it said!

Zoom.. in she went and asked the sales assistant where to find these slippers, "they're at the back but I am sorry, they're children's slippers Miss" said the assistant. 'Even better' thought my mum and headed to the back of the shop.

Where she squeaked with glee, for she loves slipper boots with rubber soles and had found just what she loved! A ridiculous leopard fleecy pair and another pair in cyclamen pink fleece decorated with white snowflakes and a mad looking reindeer with a very big round red nose, just like Rudolf!

What was there not to like! The price.. perfect! The styles.. happy & glorious.. no more cold toes or ankles! The size.. they fit like a glove at size 3-4!

Upon her arrival home she showed them to me and I laughed so much I nearly fell off the top of the bathroom door! To you folk out there, she 'appears' to be pretty normal. Now, I do admit that a select few of you are privy to as to how mad she actually is but to the general public, she appears quite sane.

They would have been pretty shocked to see this mornings attire, that's for sure! And the place where we were asked to stay, they unpack for you, yes, it's a very smart house indeed and what would their staff have said about her scarlet Scotty gown and pink Reindeer bedroom slippers?

After all, I have my reputation and this Blog to consider, do I not?

GeeGee Parrot.
December 23rd, 2016.

ASIA BIBI..

You may not have ever heard of her but those of you who 'practise' your religion or Atheism freely should be truly grateful for this freedom, as she is not 'free' to do anything.

For Asia is a Pakistani Christian and is in jail, where she has been in a small cell since 2009. Her crime? Sharing a bowl of water with other field workers. We have followed her story, which is a dreadful and desperately sad one, for many years.

So whenever you next go to your mosque, chapel, synagogue, shul, temple, friend's room, church, mountain or wherever you choose to pray or talk to your God or Higher Power, I ask of you only one thing.

That you acknowledge that the God or Higher Power of your understanding is not necessarily the same as your neighbours.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 22nd. 2016.

IT'S THE WINTER SOLSTICE TODAY!

Yubba-dubba-doooo!

Oh, thank goodness! It's the shortest day of the year and this means that tomorrow it will be a fraction of something longer than today! And, oh my goodness me, we so do need something nice to happen, for the world's news is truly dreadful and here in deepest Knightsbridge, we have wet streets and the dullest, the greyest of grey skies. It is dreary.. beyond belief.

But let's be chirpful, for yesterday, it was bright as the sun shone! Which meant the pavement was dry.. and THAT, Dear Readers.. mes amis.. meant that the vinyl snake could be taken outside and unrolled and cut to fit the bathroom floor!

Yes.. she no longer has to hop to the loo because the floor is warm! No more cold concrete flooring for her bare toe-toes in the middle of the night! Oh, such bliss. And how very smart old vinyl snake looks lying on the floor too.

But let's go back to the world's news. The German Police have issued a reward of 100,000 euro for the Tunisian man who hijacked the steel truck, killed its' Polish driver and who then drove the truck into the Christmas Market in Berlin. And well they might.. for they know this man, he has already committed several atrocious acts of violence and they have arrested him three times and let him go.. three times.

I ain't saying a word and neither is she but watch our eyes..

GeeGee Parrot.
December 21st, 2016.

EITHER HER STANLEY THERMOS'S A FAKE OR THE ONES MADE IN CHINA ARE NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL ONES THAT WERE MADE IN THE USA!

Oh, a pox on these people! Stanley are a very famous, and quite rightly so, make of thermos flasks. Developed in the USA in 1913, they come in all shapes and sizes. She has several friends who have them and although her wonderful Tiger thermos is wonderful, it is not a thermos for transporting hot coffee, it is for food.

You can imagine her excitement when she found a Stanley thermos in the shop that she volunteers in. A little PINK Stanley thermos, who knew that such a little charmer existed? So yesterday morning, at some evil hour when I still had Beaky tucked between my shoulder blades and was ignoring her call of "Wake up", she poured boiling water into Miss Pinky to get her hot before she poured in delicious freshly made proper coffee.

I got up and blinked in shock at the sight of the time showing on the clock, it wasn't even 07.30am! She ate eggs and avocado, I ate egg and hummus, she got dressed and collected her basket, her bus pass and put me, with new food and fresh water, into the bedroom and off she went, to go wherever mothers go on Sunday at 07.50am!

At 11.00am, she thought, it's time for coffee and poured it into the thick ceramic mug she had taken. Only to find the coffee was stone cold, you can imagine the disappointment, for it was a bitterly cold and foggy day and she had made it using her most precious coffee from the Algerian Coffee Stores.

She turned the thermos upside down to see if it was a fake but no, what she found was 'Made in China'! What! Made in China, since when? When she came home, she went on line and found out that a company called PMI had bought the company and name and they've moved the manufacturing of these thermos to China.

Oh, think of a suitably rude word, what a pity! But thank goodness she has a trick up her sleeve, for she has that much treasured 'Tiger' food thermos, it comes with three containers and, by golly, it does the job of keeping the food HOT! She used it to take beef stew and mushroom soup to the troops at Borough and they were piping hot!

So useless Pinky by Stanley Made in China will be kept for transporting cold water to the allotment and she will be going online in the New Year to purchase a thermal flask by Tiger Made in Japan..

GeeGee Parrot.
December 19th, 2016.

ESCAPE TO THE COUNTRY.. TO HER CHILDHOOD HOME!

Oh dear, that has made her just the tiniest little bit sad.. her family sold this ancient and truly outstanding Tudor - late Georgian - house in 1964 and since then, the owners have ripped up an original Elizabethan Camomile lawn and carpeted the front staircase.. which was made out of Spanish ships timbers, think Armada galleon wrecked off the Rye coast!

Shane Lynch of Boyzone was shown the house and the fifteen acres by Gaby Roslin. For the price of two million pounds! The villains have also painted over Tudor woodwork with white gloss and added a gruesome conservatory, oh dear!

But it got worse, for they've put a tiny measily little wood burning stove in the dining room.. into a huge full sized Tudor fireplace which has not one but TWO bread ovens!

She wonders if they know that in the Tudor attics, grain was found that exactly dated this, the oldest, part of the house and it was the first ever example of this grain, found in 1963, being used as insulation.. as determinded by The British Museum. There has been a dwelling on this exact site ever since it was first recorded in the Domesday Book of 1086.

Ah well, 'they' say that you can never 'go back home', but one thing has made her smile and she reckons the secret will die with her.. and that is this.

No one has found the Tudor (King Henry 8th) Priest Hole.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 18th, 2016.

BOOHOO.. GUESS WHAT'S CAUSING HER HIVES!

They've been erupting every night for several weeks, she's changed her washing liquid, she's tried wearing her night-clothes inside out (do not snigger, you'd try anything if you have these awful things erupting every night), she's de-flea'd the bed AND me! She's vacuumed the mattress, she's had all the bed clothes washed, she's tried everything!

They're bright red, painfully itchy and each one lasts for at least thirty six hours! So life each night is pretty grim, to say the least.

On the way back from Romford this afternoon, she looked at which essential oil would help stop the itching, as she really doesn't want to go down the antibiotic route and is fast running out of the truly magical stuff from France, whose name I cannot remember.

'Lavender, Peppermint or Blue Eucalyptus.. well, I have those, I'll try the last one in my new Coconut Oil that I've just bought', she thought. So after greeting me, she went into the bathroom to get the oils, scooped out two ounces of the coconut oil into a brand new jar, put it into a pan of hot water to melt the oil and put in five fat drops of the essential oil.

She gave it a good stir, then left it to sit and harden up for an hour. Taking a spatula, she scooped some out and gently put a dollop on each hive that she could reach.. AHHHH.. wow, the itchyness stopped almost immediately!

We had a simple supper of vegetable and rice and then went to bed. To catch up on the news and emails and to make a couple of calls. Taking with us, my apple and her yummy tasty Assam tea with its' added spices. Cinnamon and nutmeg which make it taste so delicious and just like chai.

A couple of hours later, she started to scratch... as normal as every night but tonight, she had the sense to search also for what could cause these wretched things!

NOOOOOOO... Not anything evil but terriblyterribly sad! Cinnamon and nutmeg are high on the list of hive causing ingredients, along with fermented foods and cheese. Now we don't think It's them but the itching and the scratching certainly started after she started putting those 'warming' spices into her nightly cuppa!

By the diet of elimination she'll identify the culprit and tomorrow there will be no bedtime spiced tea and I'll report back with our findings.

She was immediately reminded of a wonderfully silly birthday card that Constance kept for many years and it went something like this.. that everything 'good'.. is either fattening, illegal or immoral!

So true mes amis, so true!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 15th, 2016.

AA GILL DIED THIS MORNING.

A very short while ago he announced to the world that he had 'The Full English' of Cancer. He died this morning and the Sunday Times newspaper, for whom he wrote, will tomorrow be carrying his final words.

Sad is not a big enough word to describe how she feels at the loss of this talented man. She feels such sorrow for 'The Blonde', his lovely partner of almost twenty five years Nicola Formby and for his four children and family, for his friends and colleagues and finds it extremely hard to believe she'll never again, after tomorrow, read his column again.

She met him a long time ago through a mutual friend, a kind and talented chef, their evening was an evening of excellent food and humorous banter.

Lordy, 2016 has been a 'hard' year, has it not? RIP 'AA' GILL.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 10th, 2016.

A REALLYREALLY BIG SCARY YELLOW JACKET!

Oh Lordy! Most African Grey Parrots don't have to put up with the level of eccentricity that I live with, that's for sure. Take today for example. It started well with delicious YumYum being served at an early, but not too early, hour.

Then it was off to the bathroom to splish and splosh about with hot water and that strange thing that she waves about in her mouth, I think it's called a toothbrush. As I only have one top and one bottom tooth that make up Beaky, I am not in need of this weird thing.

Then she was off out. Where to? Who knew!

But when she came back she looked very different! Cut + colour and a scary yellow, the jacket, not her hair! When I raised more than one eyebrow at the sight of this monster, she laughed and said "You've forgotten my big old yellow jacket GeeGee, the first time we ever met I was wearing it, don't you remember?"

And she was right.. it was her sailing jacket, well this isn't such a smart thing, that's for sure. This came from the supply store where all the road and gas engineers get their water and weather proof clothing from in Streatham.

This is absolutely 'glow-in-the-dark-yellow' and that's exactly why she has bought it, because it is very silly to be out in the weather that she goes out in and trying to cross main busy roads with a dark Barbour jacket. Because you are invisible to drivers driving in filthy weather conditions, well, she won't be invisible now, that's for sure!

What else is news? Not a lot to report, the postal elves have delivered two little packages to folks in Illinois and we have received charming emails, so we thank you MaryLou and Pegeen, like we thanked Patsy and BUB.

That hole in the ground which the numpties filled in on Monday is slowly starting to dry out.. good thing we don't have to sit and watch it, that's for sure! For it would be much slower than watching paint dry!

Ah well, it will all be done, not this year but some time. She is not about to spend the Christmas holidays dragging trunks and firniture around, no sirree. It will be done in January on a dull day when the mood takes her! As for now, we are bound for her bed and my night cage. She has stuff to do quite early and so much as I would like to stay up late and chew the fat with her, it ain't going to happen.

PipPip folks.. PipPip.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 8th, 2016.

MUSHROOM SOUP.. LIKE NO OTHER!

Slurp. Now unless you are a brand new Dear Reader, you will know that this is the word that I use to describe the way to eat brilliantly tasty and superior YumYum. Today she was in Romford doing things that mothers do and collecting things that she had bought last week but had been unable to carry home.

She also brought home several large punnets of very fresh mushrooms. They all had their stalks and were wiped with a soft dry cloth as some of them had a bit of their growing compost.

Garlic and shallots were sweated gently in good olive oil, she took the contents of half a punnet and chopped them and the stalks. Salt and various peppers - white, pink, black - were added. As were the herbs, tarragon and thyme. But that's not all, oh no, for it's Winter and she really ups her consumption of spices at this time of year and for mushroom soup, it's Allspice and Nutmeg!

When everything had softened, she added a litre of homemade vegetable stock and to add a little bit of extra bulk, she put in two medium sized parsnips. The heat came down to a low simmer and it cooked until the parsnips were soft. Then out came that noisy liquidiser to wizz all of the ingredients together.

I gave Beaky a good rub with a claw to make sure it was ready for Mushroom Soup for the smell was absolutely fabuloso! But what was this? She had taken out of the cupboard a skinny bottle and was undoing the lid and putting a couple of teaspoons of this greenish powder into the soup. She stirred the soup and turned off the heat.

What was that? File.. sorry it should have an acute accent on the e.. File! Ah, Gumbo File. You add File to gumbo and soups just before serving, it thickens and adds a delicate flavour and 'hails' from New Orleans. Her little bottle bears the name Zatarain's, they can be found @ www.zatarain.com.

We don't know if you can find it here in the UK, luckily we have American friends who are kind enough to bring it to us when they come to stay and if you are American but don't use or know of this culinary marvel, we recommend that you seek it out and use it in YOUR Mushroom Soup or Gumbo.

Immediately.. if not sooner! Which is the time span that she and I waited, we didn't, it was ladled into a bowl and we slurped it together.. ahhh, homemade fresh mushroom soup.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 7th, 2016.

HOW DO YOU EAT 'CHRISTMAS PUD' WHEN YOU CAN'T EAT FLOUR?

Today she went for Christmas lunch with Pat and couple of friends taking the pudding with her. She made it yesterday. I can hear those of you who know about making Christmas pud saying 'how did she make a Christmas pud in one day?' Well, it wasn't a flour based Christmas pudding.. so read on.

This is how. You take a mix of dried fruits and soak them, for at least a week, in something really delicious, in this case it was our home homemade Apricot Rum. She always keeps a bottle of fruits and a jar or two, several in fact, of things like mixed fruits and hazelnuts soaking in various alcohols.

They add a big punch to plain things and make them very special. Remember, this is the woman who makes her own pure Vanilla Essence out of Vodka and Vanilla pods ONLY! They take two years.

So out of the store cupboard came this jar of heavenly yumyum and out of Frosty White larder came the best Vanilla Icecream that she could find. Having let the icecream soften a little bit, she plopped in several tablespoons of the soaked fruits, gently stirred them into the icecream and placed it back to freeze.

This morning we ate our eggs, she got dressed in suitable clothes and after picking up Pat's present and the pud, and kissing Beaky, she left for Fulham.

And came home quite late, well, it was dark but as the sky hadn't been bright at any point today, I had no idea what time it was. Oh, roll on December 21st, the date of Winter Soltice, the shortest day of the year and our days will start to get longer and brighter! Yippee.. for it cannot come too soon!

Tomorrow she goes to Romford and will pick up a couple of things that she bought last week but was unable to carry home.. nooo, I can't tell you what they are, they're for a couple of people who we know to be Dear Readers, they can't read what their presents are, can they?

We are spending Christmas here, she is very busy in the week leading up to Christmas and so refused an invitation for us to go to the country. It will be a quiet and peace filled couple of days. Seeing a few friends, sleeping in our own beds and she will go to our local church to celebrate the Christ-Mas.

So that's the Christmas Pud with no flour, next up she's making a flour and fat free cake, made out of boiled oranges! She's given you this recipe before, it's simple and tastes simply fabulous! This time, when it's baked and allowed to cool, she's going to pierce it and add a few drops of Orange Liqueur and top it off with some reallyreally good marmalade! How pretty it will be and how very tasty!

Meanwhile.. back to the bathroom! 'That' hole in the ground was covered with blue rubber-paint, the same stuff that is the base of the modern 'Wet-Rooms', then they put in concrete which was allowed to surface dry and finally in went the top layer, the screed. This is still very wet.. ugh. Luckily the vinyl fitter is not coming for another two weeks, so we are praying that the floor has dried by then.

Our home is still in unmitigated chaos, she's lost, correction mislaid, two very important documents but until she can unpick the dreadful mess in our sitting room by sorting through everything and put it back into its' proper home, she ain't going to get herself in a tizzy.

All will be well. We hope that it is with you too Dear Readers wherever you are?

GeeGee Parrot.
December 6th, 2016.

A TINY BEETROOT PLUS OTHER VEGETABLES HAVE CHEERED US UP GREATLY.. FOR IT'S MONDAY.. AKA 'NUMPTY DAY'.

Yes folks, it's Monday. And for those who live in orderly houses, this signifies wash day, but here, in deepest Knightbsbride, it signifies the return of the Numpties. BUT this time, at long last, they have arrived to finish the floor!

Was there ever such an exciting day! And, no, I am not being sarcastic. For with the finishing, finally, of the concrete floor, it means that 4 metre vinyl snake can roll out of our hall and unroll himself onto the floor and become our new smart bathroom flooring!

No, we are not mad enough to sit and watch the screed dry but she did go and give it a once-over to make it smoother. Now we will leave it alone to do its' stuff. She emailed the landlord the progress and gave him dates for when it would be convenient for the vinyl fitter to come and lay it.

So with Numpty one and two on site, the door, was again, wide open and "ByeBye" said the heating as it skipped off up the stairs to play with Jack Frost. Last night was 'mighty chilly-billy' here and this morning was much of the same.

So seeing as she couldn't go out, she piled on more layers of clothing and rummaged in the vegetable rack for things with which to make something that I hope you make as well!

A very shrunken red beetroot emerged from the bottom rack and were swiftly followed by everything that looked past its' best, two slightly bendy carrots and a couple of sorrowful looking parsnips that were chopped into fat pieces and headed into the pan.

A couple of slices of dried mushroom, not dried by her, but out of a jar, were added, two cloves of fat home grown garlic, a chunk of raw ginger root, a sliced onion, salt, bay leaves and last but certainly NOT least, she added some whole white and black peppercorns and an allspice.

This pan was filled with water and two home made chicken stock cubes were taken from Frosty White larder.. aka freezer.. and it was set to cook.

Twenty minutes later, a poke with a sharp knife showed the vegetables to be soft and ready to be pureed. An old friend emerged from the machine rack, he plugs into the wall and makes scary noises, for he has a long neck and at the other end of his neck, he has a metal cup which hides a pair of blades.

Yes, he is a liquidiser! And after a quick whizz around inside the pan, what did I see? Oh yum, hot pureed vegetables with just enough fluid to make them worthy of being called Vegetable Soup! The tiny shrunken beetroot had made it the most glorious deep scarlet colour, the taste is slightly 'hot' as in spicy hot because of the ginger, peppers and the allspice.

I waited until my spoonful cooled down a bit but she ate hers from a mug steaming hot. Ah.. Monday Soup! That's just the right name for it, a happy mix of all last weeks' vegetables and some spices.

But you, Dear Readers, don't have to wait for it to be a Monday to make this.. all you have to do is rootle about in your vegetable rack and see what you can find, for there's bound to be something there that's small and tasty that maybe a tad past its' best.. but that's perfect for soup.

And we guarantee that it will fill you full of Chirp!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 5th, 2016.

THIS POST IS PATHETIC BUT YOU 'NORMAL' FOLK DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE!

The circumstances of this Tale happened the week before last and she had struck it from her mind for it was such a sad occasion that she no longer wished to 'dwell' upon it. But yesterday she talked with Debbie.. aka Goaty Mum.. about forbidden toast and their love of it.

Forbidden? Yes, for you see the two of them are allergic to barley, rye and wheat. So, no toast for these women but it get's worse, Dear Readers, read on, for my mum is, of course, unable to eat potatoes.

So think thee upon the ingredients of goodly things that you drink and I am not talking about tea or coffee! No sirree, I am talking of Beer.. Guinness Stout (sobsob).. Gin.. Vodka.. Whisky.. Whiskey.. (Irish Whiskey has an e before the y) for those are made mostly of grain and or potatoes!

Of course, thank goodness, Armagnac.. Brandy.. Calvados.. Champagne.. Rum and Wine are not and are left for happy slurping out of pretty glassware. Thank God.

But let us slip back in time to that week before last and zoom out to the gigantic Sainsburys in the Brewery Square in Romford. She was in the mega-store collecting a couple of packets of dried chick peas with which to make my hummus and whilst doing this, she had the following thought "Gluten Free! Oh wow, gluten free bagels", for she had come across a shelf of gluten free products made by a company called Genius.

A pack of these plopped into her basket together with the chick peas. She caught a train back to London. Oh, the excitement of it! She positively whizzed home and after greeting me, kissing Beaky and taking off her coat, she dived into her tidy, store cupboard to find the toaster. 'Toaster!', I thought, 'we don't eat toast in this house, I haven't even sniffed a crust for months'. She cleaned it, placed it on the top of the fridge and plugged it in, ready for the morrow!

The next morning she boiled our eggs and took my pot of hummus from the fridge. We ate our eggs and I moved onto hummus whilst she sliced a bagel and popped it into the toaster. Dear Readers, you see when you love bread / toast as much as she does, you just have to imagine the amount of intense anticipation that was building in YumYum HQ.

Plucking out the toasted bagel, she put a plop of delicious Goaty Curd onto one half and took a big munch but to her horror, her mouth and tongue went 'DANGER DANGER.. POISON POISON.. SPIT IT OUT NOW!', she turned to the kitchen sink and spat out the mouthful of bagel!

"GeeGee, what the hell was that all about?" and turned to pick up the packet to look at the list of the ingredients.. "NOOOO.. I can't believe it, they're made with potatoes!"

Yesterday Debbie and she spoke of bread & toast, sigh. I know, it's pretty sad. For they're grown-up women but think about this if you will, of not being able to nibble a biscuit, or crunch a toasty crusy bread or sip an ice cold vodka. To never eat another piece of pizza or gnocchi or savour an aged Malt Whisky and if you do..

Your stomach goes into severe spasm, you get acute acid reflux, your joints swell.. and your little red toaster goes back into storage.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 4th, 2016.

THE ART OF SAYING "THANK YOU".

Patsy, who lives in California and BUB, who lives on the Isle of Man, are extremely well schooled in this art and my mum is too. It is a simple set of two words which you join up with a few more to complete a sentence.. but there are people who just don't 'get' it!

It comes in two styles, the spoken one is said when someone hands you or sends you a gift or does something for you and then there is the written one which is usually sent when you have received a gift through the mail / post.

She sent Patsy a Christmas gift last week and yesterday we received from her the most charming email, the title of which was multiple Thank you's. And BUB sent a photo of the two lamps, lit and in situ, which she sent him last week.

She keeps pretty cards and a book of stamps at home just for this reason. Because if you are given an unexpected gift or a delicious meal, how simple it is to write a few words, address the envelope, put on a stamp and pop the envelope into a mail / postbox.

BUT sometimes, a gift requires both a spoken and a written 'Thank You'. The side of Smoked Salmon, that she was given yesterday, had the effect of making her call a couple of old 'City' customers of The Flying Fish Company and they had lots of news to tell her! Most of which was happy but there was one piece of news that saddened her.

This was than an old friend called Charles Irby had died last year. She met this charming man and his lovely wife Sarah way back in the '70s through his elder brother Paul. He had had the most rewarding and highly spectacular career in the city of London but, he was only 70.

The 'Fish' giver will be sent a card, that's for sure, she has obtained their full address, it will be written after we finish this, it will slip in to a post box and catch the Monday morning's post.

Simples.. yes. Do you doubt me? Well, remember this post when YOU receive a card or a call from someone 'thanking you' for your gift and recognise the pleasure that it gives you, the sender, that your gift has been received 'With thanks'.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 4th, 2016.

D CUT OR LONG CUT..

Many years ago, in 1988 to be precise, she spotted an opportunity that no one seemed to be servicing, so she contacted several food companies and started 'The Flying Fish Company'.

She sold Scottish Smoked Salmon, Smoked Cornish Trout, Smoked Eel products from Suffolk, this was supplied by the very last British Eel man, Derek Beale.. yes, she stocked Beale's Eels. Sevruga, Beluga and Oscietra Iranian Caviar. Millers Damsels discuits and made fresh buckwheat Blinis to order.

Three wonderfully generous friends in the city opened up their address books and she was off and running! If you ordered before 10.30am, she would deliver by hand within Central London the same day and clients knew that they could call her up to 6pm and ask her what she had in the fridge, they had until 7.30pm to collect it on their way home.

If clients wanted a large amount of anything, they had to give a couple of days notice and for alcohol, she did a tie-in with Krug, the Champagne house and let's just say, both companies were very happy with the arrangement!

She catered drinks parties and greatly enjoyed making fresh blinis in the charming home belonging to 'Willy' Purves, better known as Sir William Purves, the first group chairman of the HSBC holding company, for his 70th birthday.

Mail Order? Certainly! Michael and Gretchen (Misick) were dear friends and huge fans of her smoked salmon, they had a monthly order which meant that she sent lots of sides of Smoked Salmon to their friends and colleagues in Bermuda for Christmas presents.

No problem, how many sides would you like, or would you like it sliced and vacuum packed? Cape Town? Certainly sir, it will be on tomorrow's evening BA flight. Once you had given her all the details and paid her, she would send products around the world as gifts and the guys in the city were thrilled! As were their secretaries!

Caviar? She still has clients who have a standing order for two 250g tins of Oscietra to be mailed at Christmas. She has never met them, but like a lot of other people, they came to her through word of mouth, the very best way for a company to grow! But times change, the supermarkets started selling Smoked Salmon and she started working full time for the Savoy Group.. and so she brought her Flying Fish down to earth.

Today she was given a quarter side of Smoked Salmon as a gift and it brought back such memories! Of lovely customers, of all those happy parties she catered with Krug and with Pauline Smith, a sweet friend who acted as her waitress, of all those fabulous suppliers and their fantastic foods.

When she got home from the market, she had gone to get fruit and carrots, she dived into a drawer she hasn't opened for months and pulled out a long thing wrapped up in a cloth, I wondered what it was and squeaked at her.

"It's my Salmon knife GeeGee, it takes a very sharp knife to cut salmon properly and this one is as sharp as paper!" She took out her steel and flashed it back and forth on the knife a few times. And cut herself three slices of this glorious fish. She laid the slices onto a plate and crunched some sea salt and fresh pepper over them with a squeeze of lemon.

"Ah, GeeGee, it's good, nicely cured and smoked, what a lovely gift, I must send her a card to say 'Thank You' on Monday".

But you, Dear Readers, are still pondering the title of this post, are you not! Well, you see, you cut Smoked Salmon in two ways, there is the Long Cut which is when the slices are as thin as tissue paper, they are cut down the length of the side, so they are very long.. hence the name Long Cut.

And then there is the D cut, the fish is cut much thicker, shorter (and it is easier to cut).. in the shape of a capital D, she cuts Long Cuts, 'cos after all these years, she can still 'cut' it!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 3rd, 2016.

TO MARKET TO MARKET & THOSE FAT CLEVER MICE!

Today was Friday so regular Dear Readers will know which market she was going to.. yes ..she went to London Bridge by the Jubilee Line and into Borough Market. She had her Japanese food thermos FULL of tasty beef stew with her, for she had plans to feed Archie,Chris, Joseph, Joe and herself each a big mug.

There is nothing like hot beef stew on a cold day and this was a particularly fine one. The meat had marinated a full 24 hours out of the fridge in olive oil with garlic, dried orange peel, oregano, barberries, pomegranate molasses, lots of black pepper and allspice. There were carrots and parsnips as well and the gravy was truly unctuous..

It had cooked very slowly on Wednesday for three hours and then sat, stewing in its' own juice, for a another day and a half, she heated it up this morning for a full half hour before filling the magic thermos. It was totally unexected by all the men who run the stalls which back onto Ellie's Dairy stall at Borough but, my gosh, it was much appreciated by every one of them!

As it was such a chilly day, she was wearing her old but still, even after twenty two years, immaculate Swedish parka as well as her duffle coat! She was wearing gloves but had mittens in her bag with the thermos but sadly forgot to pick up the basket of ripe Pomegranates that she thought would make a lovely pudding.

Never mind, as none of the men knew that a stew was coming, let alone a pud, no-one missed them!

All the usual suspects were all there, plus a large gang of some extraordinarily 'funny' women who were perfectly normally and, quite smartly, dressed but had antlers perched on their heads with battery operated LED lights.. and they were last seen heading for the wine bar! As if they hadn't already had enough! But heyho.. it's December, the season of silly behaviour, is it not?

And talking of silly behaviour, wait until you hear about what happened last night, right in the middle of it!

She and I were fast asleep, as all good girls should be at approx 03.00 hours in the early hours of nod, when she heard seeds plopping out of my yumyum dish, she growled and told me "to go to sleep", only for more seeds to hit the floor of my night house!

Insensed at such 'disobedience', she switched on the light, just in time to see a sleek brown person abseiling down the bars of my night house.. aka cage.. plopping onto the floor and disappearing at high speed! A fat mouse! But how did she / he get there!

And then she saw another, who was literally frozen on the chain pretending not to be there! The mice were coming down the chain which was attached to the boards that are placed across the tops of the cupboard! These chains were keeping my night house suspended in the air and we had thought it was 'mouse proof', obviously it was not!

Clever bastards!

So she jumped out of bed, scooped me and my yumyum bowl up, bowl was put up high on a ledge out of fat mouse reach and we went back to bed. Where we snuggled down and slept peacefully until a reasonable hour when we woke up, got up and went to break our fast with eggs, hummus, coffee and rosy pink grapefruit.

When she got home from the market this evening, she dismantled my night cage and found the base of another table, this base is veryvery old and collapsible, she put it on top of the two small tables and topped it off with the metal base of my other cage which is much larger than the base. Hopefully, the mice won't be able to climb up the base and get over the metal base.

Here's hoping! For none of those fat naughty mice were at all frightened of Beaky! But now it is time for us to go to bed, for she has 'stuff' to do tomorrow and we need to get a good nights sleep, which hopefully will be 'mouse free'!

GeeGee Parrot.
December 2nd, 2016.

DOLORES HAS ARRIVED.. YOU MAY WELL ASK.. WHO'S SHE,

Oh boy! Here, in deepest Knightsbridge for a week or so now, the skies have been Winter Blue, old Mr. Sun has shone but it an't half cold.. the nights are always below zero, which means the mornings are cold and the days creep slowly, very slowly up to the dizzy height to only about 8 degrees.

On Tuesday she went off to MailBox to get a box and packing materials for the gift that she gave to BUB for Christmas. Whilst she was there they gave her a box and some post. The box was from BUB.. aka Big Uncle Bruce.. who lives up on the Isle of Man.

She thanked them and went off to the Post Office to get BUB's package into the system so he would have it by Thursday via the two day system of Mister ParcelForce. And she brought BUB's package home.

And opened it in front of me, I was busy, strutting ma stuff on top of the bathroom door and suddenly, oh my goodness me! There was another GREY PARROT! She was shiny and scary! I fluffed every feather up.. like dogs do when they raise their hackles.. and let rip with a truly fearsome noise.

But did that stop it advancing upon me? NO! Witch had it in her hand and she touched Beaky with its' Beak! HaHa.. that's when I realised it wasn't real, panic over! It's a ceramic Macaw! I felt slightly foolish and inquired as to where this fancy person was going to live?

"Bathroom", said Witch. She's going to live on the small centre wall. And went off to telephone BUB to say "Thank you". " What are you going to call her" said BUB, "Why not Bibi?" "Ugh, no, we won't be calling her that 'cos we know a BiBi and we don't think very nice thoughts about her, please think of another name BUB" and just as Witch was about to say the name.. BUB beat her to it and said "Dolores".

So Dolores is presently resting until the Dolls House.. aka bathroom.. is finished, then mama will put her perch into the wall. So with the two stained glass African Greys, who live in YumYum, Dolores, who'll live in the bathroom and me who flies free, plus her, of course, you 'could' say it's a Full House.

GeeGee Parrot.
December 1st, 2016.