Don't be foolish! She's much too old and sensible to even think of having a lover, besides, it would take her attention away from me and the garden and WE can't have that, can we!
I think she's nipping at the gin, for she's remarkably happy and sings, hums and whistles all day long, which is a flippin' miracle as this place.. aka our home is a tip! A right tip! There's stuff everywhere which shouldn't be there, that four metre vinyl snake is still in the hall, he's been joined by the pretty rug which is now a fatter shorter snake.
Today was the day the Environmental Health Officer came with his all singing, all dancing damp measure, he greeted the numpty and the other numpty from the landlord's office and stuck the measure into the new screed where it looked suspiciously 'dark'.
The lights ran up the scale to bright red! Ting! Bingo! Wet floor.. so the screed has to come up and a flippin' big hole has to be dug down in order to find out WHERE this wretched water is coming from. The walls are as dry as one of my old bones, so it's rising damp.. oh.. quelle bummer.
But she, in this new strange state of mind, just smiled and nodded and thought happy thoughts about how pretty her little 'Dolls House' will be when it's finished. Which, obviously, is not going to be soon!
They all left, she grinned a particularly wolfy grin and taking her fat torch, went into the fuse room and plunged the flat into darkness and silence, we always have the radio on at home. Then she went into the bathroom, put the torch in her teeth, picked up a flat headed screwdriver, disconnected the lamp wires from a junction box, then stripped the wires out of the front of the bathroom mirror.
Having wrapped masking tape around the wires, she went back into the fuse room and threw the main fuse back on. Action.. lights,. music! And brought out with her a large tin of satinwood brilliant white wood paint, a paint brush, a tub of wood filler, a palette knife, several sheets of 120 and 180 grade sandpaper and a small pair of steps.
She rubbed the entire surface of the mirror's frame with sandpaper, then filled in the holes left by the previous lights. Left the wood filler to dry, after lightly sanding these places, she applied a fine coat of paint. It's always better to apply several fine coats of paint than one heavy coat.
This was sanded down again when dry with a piece of 180 grade sand paper, she is, after all, her father's daughter and she grew up watching him painting everything that didn't move. And those things that did move, like birds, he sketched or painted but in a different style!
You might wonder why she is removing perfectly good lights from this huge mirror? It is all due to EU regulations, within a certain distance of water, as in bath or shower, you have to have a certain type of lights and the old ones didn't conform to the new regulations.
Where do you find such 'exotic' lights? Yes, you can find them if you hunt really hard in John Lewis for mega bucks or specialised bathroom shops, but she knew of another place.. Ikea.. they are brilliant at stuff like this and ALL of their bathroom lights conform to Zone 1 regulations.
So off she went.. to Ikea at Wembley.
Except it isn't at Wembley.. it is miles away from Wembley, she hopped a 206 bus and trundled for ever and a day, eventually arriving at a MONSTER Tesco and Ikea. Sure enough, she found just what she wanted, so she purchased three sets of the lights and a charming metal clock in the shape of a keyhole. A perfect clock for a bathroom, small and red. Just right for a Dolls House.
Then she and WW trundled out to the bus stop and was advised to take a 224 back.
Well, this went all around the houses but the trip, well it was riveting! For she has long known of a Chinese wholesale supply market in north London but never of its' exact location.. and yippee-duda, there it was! Bang opposite a MEGA monster Sainsburys at Alperton! However, the journey took a very long time.
However, further along on this jaunt she spied a Bartek Express! It is run, she knows by the same family as the one that she frequents in Streatham.. my dear Dear Readers! The places she gets to, the swag that WW drags home but now.. we must return to the title of this post.
For it was only whilst waiting for a train at Wenbley Park.. Jubilee Line to Green Park and a bus home.. that she realised that Harlesden Station on the Bakerloo Line is MUCH nearer to the Ikea store and so she could train to Harlesden, bus it to Ikea which is only about seven bus stops, plunder Ikea, hop back onto a 224 to the Chinese supply place, eat Chinese yumyum, plunder their spices and ginger, hop back onto the bus back to Harlesden and be back home in time for next year!
So there are several ways to Ikea.. but you've got to 'hop on the bus Gus..'
GeeGee Parrot.
November 15th, 2016.
PostScript: With thanks to Paul Simon.
I think she's nipping at the gin, for she's remarkably happy and sings, hums and whistles all day long, which is a flippin' miracle as this place.. aka our home is a tip! A right tip! There's stuff everywhere which shouldn't be there, that four metre vinyl snake is still in the hall, he's been joined by the pretty rug which is now a fatter shorter snake.
Today was the day the Environmental Health Officer came with his all singing, all dancing damp measure, he greeted the numpty and the other numpty from the landlord's office and stuck the measure into the new screed where it looked suspiciously 'dark'.
The lights ran up the scale to bright red! Ting! Bingo! Wet floor.. so the screed has to come up and a flippin' big hole has to be dug down in order to find out WHERE this wretched water is coming from. The walls are as dry as one of my old bones, so it's rising damp.. oh.. quelle bummer.
But she, in this new strange state of mind, just smiled and nodded and thought happy thoughts about how pretty her little 'Dolls House' will be when it's finished. Which, obviously, is not going to be soon!
They all left, she grinned a particularly wolfy grin and taking her fat torch, went into the fuse room and plunged the flat into darkness and silence, we always have the radio on at home. Then she went into the bathroom, put the torch in her teeth, picked up a flat headed screwdriver, disconnected the lamp wires from a junction box, then stripped the wires out of the front of the bathroom mirror.
Having wrapped masking tape around the wires, she went back into the fuse room and threw the main fuse back on. Action.. lights,. music! And brought out with her a large tin of satinwood brilliant white wood paint, a paint brush, a tub of wood filler, a palette knife, several sheets of 120 and 180 grade sandpaper and a small pair of steps.
She rubbed the entire surface of the mirror's frame with sandpaper, then filled in the holes left by the previous lights. Left the wood filler to dry, after lightly sanding these places, she applied a fine coat of paint. It's always better to apply several fine coats of paint than one heavy coat.
This was sanded down again when dry with a piece of 180 grade sand paper, she is, after all, her father's daughter and she grew up watching him painting everything that didn't move. And those things that did move, like birds, he sketched or painted but in a different style!
You might wonder why she is removing perfectly good lights from this huge mirror? It is all due to EU regulations, within a certain distance of water, as in bath or shower, you have to have a certain type of lights and the old ones didn't conform to the new regulations.
Where do you find such 'exotic' lights? Yes, you can find them if you hunt really hard in John Lewis for mega bucks or specialised bathroom shops, but she knew of another place.. Ikea.. they are brilliant at stuff like this and ALL of their bathroom lights conform to Zone 1 regulations.
So off she went.. to Ikea at Wembley.
Except it isn't at Wembley.. it is miles away from Wembley, she hopped a 206 bus and trundled for ever and a day, eventually arriving at a MONSTER Tesco and Ikea. Sure enough, she found just what she wanted, so she purchased three sets of the lights and a charming metal clock in the shape of a keyhole. A perfect clock for a bathroom, small and red. Just right for a Dolls House.
Then she and WW trundled out to the bus stop and was advised to take a 224 back.
Well, this went all around the houses but the trip, well it was riveting! For she has long known of a Chinese wholesale supply market in north London but never of its' exact location.. and yippee-duda, there it was! Bang opposite a MEGA monster Sainsburys at Alperton! However, the journey took a very long time.
However, further along on this jaunt she spied a Bartek Express! It is run, she knows by the same family as the one that she frequents in Streatham.. my dear Dear Readers! The places she gets to, the swag that WW drags home but now.. we must return to the title of this post.
For it was only whilst waiting for a train at Wenbley Park.. Jubilee Line to Green Park and a bus home.. that she realised that Harlesden Station on the Bakerloo Line is MUCH nearer to the Ikea store and so she could train to Harlesden, bus it to Ikea which is only about seven bus stops, plunder Ikea, hop back onto a 224 to the Chinese supply place, eat Chinese yumyum, plunder their spices and ginger, hop back onto the bus back to Harlesden and be back home in time for next year!
So there are several ways to Ikea.. but you've got to 'hop on the bus Gus..'
GeeGee Parrot.
November 15th, 2016.
PostScript: With thanks to Paul Simon.
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