I know, I know.. well, let's start at the beginning which, as you all know by now, is my favourite place to start a tale!
She got bitten by that dastardly bug last Saturday, it caused her left eye lid and cheek to swell but the clever pharmacist said "put cucumber on it as I don't want to give you anti-histamine pills because of your glaucoma". Sure enough, the cucumber did the trick.
Off she went to the allotment again on either Tuesday or Wesnesday, can't remember which, and yesterday morning woke up with a very sore eye lid which was angry, red and swollen. Off she went to the pharmacist again.
"Oh, my goodness me, well, now you do have an infection" and she gave her a tube of Golden Eye Ointment, having squirted some into her eye and smeared some along her lid, she went off to Streatham to join up with the Dementia Support Group.
Only for the bus driver to say "Sorry folks, we are being diverted as there's a nutter on the loose with a gun".. but she got there eventually and joined in with the singing, people kept trying to give her a copy of the songsheets.. is she foreign? She KNOWS all these songs!
She came home just in time to answer a landline telephone call which went pretty much like this..
"Hello, may I speak with Miss ....., my name is Judy .... and it is about an application for a temporary Alcohol License", she said it was her speaking and the woman said "we still haven't received the form", upon which she exploded with rage and told Judy exactly what her President had done and where she had taken the stamped 'date received' by Lambeth Council copy and that when she handed it into ........ Police Station, a fat, young, fast asleep, rather stupid policeman had said "we don't deal with those here, I don't know where you take them" and then a woman's voice out of sight said "Yea, we do take those, they go up to so&so".
Then Judy said the classic words "I AM THE POLICE" and my mum said "oh.. shit" and then the two of them had hysterics! They squealed and choked with laughter" and then Judy said "ok, it is down to us and somebody's lost it, I'll sort this out and call you back before 7.00pm tonight".
And, bless her heart, she did! She kicked someone into touch and another stamped copy was brought over to her by some helpful assistant in the council office and so they have the license, as long as the Noise Dept don't object.
So when her President called for a chat at 8.30 last night, she recounted the tale word by word.. more squeals of laughter were squealed along with many "OH NO, you didn't" and she heard President's husband asking "what on earth has happened."
So there you are Dear Readers.. she's the one eyed bug again and was told not to go near her allotment for a week as there must be all manner of beastly bugs about, however, she's relying on Malaysian Chillies on Dumplings to help sweat it out of her system.
Yes.. it's Dumpling eating day with Debbie Goaty mum at Marylebone Farmer's Market tomorrow.. Slurp-the-durp.
But.. mind you.. her not going out because that poor sore eye doesn't like bright sunlight does mean that, room by room, our home is being turned upside down and scrubbed. That has not yet happened in our sitting room.. there are boxes of stuff to be sorted, shredded and given away. However, you don't throw away large squares of beautiful silk, you take them to quilt making classes.
But fruit has to be bought, so she does have to go to the market and I am off to my favourite perch.
GeeGee Parrot.
August 22nd, 2015.
She got bitten by that dastardly bug last Saturday, it caused her left eye lid and cheek to swell but the clever pharmacist said "put cucumber on it as I don't want to give you anti-histamine pills because of your glaucoma". Sure enough, the cucumber did the trick.
Off she went to the allotment again on either Tuesday or Wesnesday, can't remember which, and yesterday morning woke up with a very sore eye lid which was angry, red and swollen. Off she went to the pharmacist again.
"Oh, my goodness me, well, now you do have an infection" and she gave her a tube of Golden Eye Ointment, having squirted some into her eye and smeared some along her lid, she went off to Streatham to join up with the Dementia Support Group.
Only for the bus driver to say "Sorry folks, we are being diverted as there's a nutter on the loose with a gun".. but she got there eventually and joined in with the singing, people kept trying to give her a copy of the songsheets.. is she foreign? She KNOWS all these songs!
She came home just in time to answer a landline telephone call which went pretty much like this..
"Hello, may I speak with Miss ....., my name is Judy .... and it is about an application for a temporary Alcohol License", she said it was her speaking and the woman said "we still haven't received the form", upon which she exploded with rage and told Judy exactly what her President had done and where she had taken the stamped 'date received' by Lambeth Council copy and that when she handed it into ........ Police Station, a fat, young, fast asleep, rather stupid policeman had said "we don't deal with those here, I don't know where you take them" and then a woman's voice out of sight said "Yea, we do take those, they go up to so&so".
Then Judy said the classic words "I AM THE POLICE" and my mum said "oh.. shit" and then the two of them had hysterics! They squealed and choked with laughter" and then Judy said "ok, it is down to us and somebody's lost it, I'll sort this out and call you back before 7.00pm tonight".
And, bless her heart, she did! She kicked someone into touch and another stamped copy was brought over to her by some helpful assistant in the council office and so they have the license, as long as the Noise Dept don't object.
So when her President called for a chat at 8.30 last night, she recounted the tale word by word.. more squeals of laughter were squealed along with many "OH NO, you didn't" and she heard President's husband asking "what on earth has happened."
So there you are Dear Readers.. she's the one eyed bug again and was told not to go near her allotment for a week as there must be all manner of beastly bugs about, however, she's relying on Malaysian Chillies on Dumplings to help sweat it out of her system.
Yes.. it's Dumpling eating day with Debbie Goaty mum at Marylebone Farmer's Market tomorrow.. Slurp-the-durp.
But.. mind you.. her not going out because that poor sore eye doesn't like bright sunlight does mean that, room by room, our home is being turned upside down and scrubbed. That has not yet happened in our sitting room.. there are boxes of stuff to be sorted, shredded and given away. However, you don't throw away large squares of beautiful silk, you take them to quilt making classes.
But fruit has to be bought, so she does have to go to the market and I am off to my favourite perch.
GeeGee Parrot.
August 22nd, 2015.
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