BAGS OF BONES.

Did you think I was talking about her? Nah, she isn't anywhere near a bag of bones yet, the two bags of bones were from our lubbly-jubbly butcher, he was boning out joints of pork as she was walking by his shop and the thought of pork bones boiled slowly with root vegetables, ginger, celery, herbs and some spices to make a pot of porky soup suddenly made a lot of sense on a wintery day.

So they went whoosh into WW along with the three library books she had picked up earlier, along with a large pot of fat free Total yoghurt, a packet of Buckwheat she has promised to a friend and a new tube of Harissa.. heehee, she won't have a cold this winter and a few vegetables.

Spicy stuff Harissa, she squirts a little onto a lot of things, particularly vegetables like Spring Greens and it adds just enough heat without being too hot.

Our Lebanese friend and she are off on a foody-jaunt on Saturday, they both have WWs and will be bound for the Uxbridge Road up in Shepherds Bush. First stop.. 'Nutcase'. As the name suggests, this shop sells nuts, ALL manner of nuts, all done in several different ways and Turkish coffee.

Regular readers of my blog will remember that it was in this shop that a young woman tried to tempt her with some nougat, she squealed and cried "get away from me you naughty girl", much to the amazement of the men who run the shop! But it's now a BIG joke and she always finds just one little piece of nougat wrapped up and placed amongst the nuts when she get home.. very sweet.

Then they'll cross the road and go into 'Damas Gate'. This is a fabulous emporium run by a Syrian family who sell food from all over the Middle East and North Africa. Freekeh, Buckwheat, Bulgar, Barberries, etc.. all the spices and herbs you would, and could, ever want, fresh Tahini sauce, glorious unwaxed Lemons, fresh hot Falafel.. oh slurp.. Dates, Honey.

Lebanese food and Syrian food are very similar and they sell the Lebanese pastries and sweets as well. Olive Oils, Rosewater, you name it, they sell it.

They'll 'waddle' home, for I know these two, they'll undoubtedly find some 'foreign muck' to eat whilst they are out and about, they always do.

But that's a long way-a-way, tomorrow she's bound for Borough Market, she needs Goaty milk and will collect it from Joe plus a pot of curd to give a friend as a treat. Getting to Borough is SO quick, as long as she goes by the Jubilee Line underground, that going there just for some milk is about the same as going to Hammersmith and she thinks nothing of doing that!

On Friday she's meeting Ann in Streatham's wonderful and very active Library, the Henry Tate Library, Tate of the Tate & Lyle Sugar company and Tate Art Gallery fame. She wants to introduce Ann to Bartek and The Elephant House Bakery which is in the mews just off Streatham High Street. Ann is an amazing cook and it is she who the goaty curd is for.

She'll pillage Bartek's deli counter for Ishpol, without which her life is not complete nor her stomach happy, they'll have lunch in a minute Polish Restaurant which is just a few doors away from Bartek and which serves brilliant 'home' cooked food.. and talk a lot.

Well! What a happy week AND the ironing was done! She has a lovely couple of days planned for us next month in February, but we'll tell you about this jaunt nearer the time. It's past ten of the evening clock, she's going to slip some of that medicine down my throat before I got to my cage, I'd better just give in and take it gracefully, for mothers always get their way, don't they?

GeeGee Parrot.
January 13th, 2016.

BAKED CREAM.. which has no cream.. but, is good to eat.

Yawn.. goodness me, we went to bed late last night. An old client of hers has died and she received a call from the designer in the USA with whom she worked on the client's house in the Caribbean. That was the third long telephone conversation she had last night, first Michele, then Faith, who is Michele's daughter and then Robert.

They haven't seen each other for twenty years (he has no idea she's turned into a Porker. NOW you all know why she won't Skype), many overseas clients, having met her once, never saw her again. Using careful packers and shippers, like Martin Speed in Vauxhall, items were sent from all over the world for her to work on and when they were finished, they were shipped back to the client or designer.

Fabrics were sent to the location where they would be used be to seen in that light, for even within the same city, the effect of light upon fabrics is very different and it is not only the light element that causes things to change.. what about the 'air'! Air? What about air? Huh, well, read on and found out about air.

This house was NO exception, being close to the sea aka water and with moisture in the air, it meant that the metals used within the house had to be rust-free or protected and all lampshades have a metal base! The air wasn't the only thing they had to 'deal' with either.. oi vey.

So we got up late but the thought of a fat brown egg boiling in a saucepan was enough to make this sleepy person shake my tail and give mama a nudge as we went to the bathroom. "Yes, egg, GeeGee, hummus and rye bread with seeds and there are two chunks of cardboard for old Beaky to destroy, you're truly a most fortunate bird, are you not?"

And, by dolly-lolly-golly, you know, she's right!

However, this is not giving you the list of ingredients OR the method with which to make this tasty BAKED CREAM PUD! Is it?

Scurry off to buy the following items: This recipe is also over 40 years old and is in old measures but you're all bright and so will be able to adjust the measurements.. sheer greed will make you extra bright, it does her!

7.5 fluid oz milk.
2/3 drops of vanilla essence.
2.5 oz unsalted butter.. PLUS a bit extra with which to butter the dish.
3.5 oz PLAIN flour.
2 large eggs.
1 oz blanced and finely sliced almonds.
Icing sugar to dust the top.

What you need to make the Blackcurrant OR Apricot jam sauce.

2 tbs of either jam.
7.5 fluid oz water.
2 good strips of unwaxed lemon peel.
1tbs of caster sugar.
1tbs of Arrowroot powder (mixed with 1 tbs of water).

You'll need:

8" diameter pie dish (1 pint capacity).
Oven preheated to 400F or Gas mark 6.

How to make the Baked Cream

Butter the pie dish.
Put the milk into a saucepan with the vanilla essence and bring it VERY slowly to the boil.
Add the butter.
When the milk is on the boil, add the flour all at once.
Take it off the heat.
Beat the mixture until it is as smooth as silk and leave the mixture to cool.
Beat in the eggs one at a time and when it looks like satin.. shiny.. turn the mixture into the buttered pie dish and scatter the almonds over the top.
Bake in the pre-heated oven for 40-45 minutes / until it is well risen and firm to touch.
Five minutes before it is cooked, dust with the icing sugar and put the dish back into the oven to glaze.

How to make the Jam Sauce.. do this whilst the cream is baking..

Put all of the ingredients, EXCEPT the arrowroot, into a pan and bring slowly to the boil, stir well.
Taste and add more jam if it is not strong enough in taste.
Turn the heat right down.
Continue to simmer for about 5 minutes over a low heat.
Remove the lemon peel.
Add the previously mixed arrowroot and mix it in thoroughly to thicken the sauce.

Serve hot with the Baked Cream.

It is a simple dish.. in rather the same way that Caviar is 'simple', it's only Sturgeon eggs.

She's off out, I'm going to have a doze on a door, up high, for heat rises and it's chillybilly out there.

GeeGee Parrot.
January 13th, 2016.

UPON GETTING FAT & REALISING TODAY JUST HOW FAT!

She's just had a couple of long conversations on the telephone, I, up high in sky, got to 'ear-wig' both of these calls. The last conversation was riveting because in it.. she discussed her weight.

Now, I know you may be bored to tears about her weight loss but back home on this ranch, which is the only one I live on, it's one of our topics of conversation and so this, is the gist of part of the telephone conversation which took place.

My mama to Faith.. "you know this 'Fat Shaming' thing which has been in the press recently, where complete strangers are rude to people if they think they're grossly overweight, well, why did none of my friends say to me.. "hey, what are you doing? You've gained a huge amount of weight and have become fat AND slow?"

From the other end down near Salisbury there seemed to be a stunned silence. But she's right, nobody said to her "hey, what's up lass", didn't they see that she was turning into a porker? For most certainly, a fat porker she became and today, the exact amount of porkyness was revealed in all its' hideous glory.

Look away or skip this bit if you are of a fragile or sensitive nature..

The size 40 (Italian) trousers she's wearing are too big for her now, she went hunting for trousers that she put into the bottom drawer of the big chest unit in our bedroom. They've been there at least seven years. They were trousers she wore all the time, some in the day, some in the evening, but they had all been well cut and comfortable.

Amongst them was a pair of Wrangler jeans she used to ride in. You may not have ever been on a horse, I haven't but I can tell you that you can't / don't ride in a pair of riding trousers OR jeans if they're too tight, it would be far too uncomfortable. Work it out.

So there were these trousers, packed away with lavender bags and ready to wear, or so she thought.

She climbed out of her cosy leggings and pulled on a pair of daywear trousers, to find, alas and alack, that although she's lost 30 lbs and many inches from around her waist, the trousers did not fit, infact, not only did they not fit, they didn't fit by several inches.. ugh.. gulp.

Tossing them aside, she tried on all the pairs of trousers.. grrr.. to find the only pair that fitted were a pair of linen trousers which had always been a little loose around the waist as 'tight' summer trousers are not 'happy' making things!

So, this lead to her thinking, 'I know that I hated having to retire and being reduced to a medical investigation case but I hadn't realised I was SO unhappy that I gained as much as I have but these trousers tell me I've gained over 40 lbs in weight'.

She was 167.5 lbs when she first weighed in at the end of June and probably weighed about 122 lbs when she was wearing these trousers ALL THE TIME.. which means that she gained about forty five lbs, and as three into one hundred and twenty two goes forty point something.. she gained amost a third of her body weight and nobody 'saw' it?

Hello? Was there no-one there? Apparently not. And she was too miserable to even realise that she was 'unhappily' eating - toast - as if she was still buzzing away hard at her work AND or working away hard at the allotments as before.. when, in fact, she wasn't doing either of those calorie burning occupations!

And that, Dear Readers, is how my slim mama turned into the fat Porker. Thirty down and about another fifteen lbs to go, but I can assure you, she'll wear those trousers.

Now you can look back, I am going to tickle your taste buds with a delicious thing.. yes.. tomorrow I am going to give you the recipe for a wonderful and easy to make pudding, she calls it 'Baked Cream' but it doesn't have a drop of cream in it, she makes it with raw Goaty Milk.

Now, apart from tasting wonderful, this milk is extraordinary in that it is white, 'what's extraordinary about that', I can hear you, 'well, other milks are NOT pure white but this stuff is, so this 'ere pud looks quite dramatic, especially, if you make the sauce out of blackcurrant jam".

Ha.. There.. That got your attention, didn't it? Now you'll just have to wait until tomorrow for I am off to sleep, it's again a veryvery late "goodnight" from the two of us.. chirp.

GeeGee Parrot.
January 13th, 2016.
PostScript: We first published this post on the evening of the 12th, but she realised that she'd miscalculated the percentage of her weight gain, whereas, she now has to lose a quarter.. she gained a third.. are you with us or still adding the numbers together using your fingers and toes?

This was going to be 'HOW TO MAKE A BOMBE' but a Beast from the East has roared into town and so we are putting that post aside and going to tell you about something 'HOT OUT OF THE OVEN' instead.

As a child who grew up in Kent, slap bang in the middle of a mixed farm, she loves apples and so do I. We also LOVE this pudding and yes, we know it contains self-raising flour and the dreaded S word.. aka Sugar but we certainly don't eat it every day, great pity that.

EVE'S PUDDING is an old recipe that she's been making for over forty years, it's SO old, the measurements are still in Imperial measures! It's guaranteed to warm your stomach, so do make it.

What goes to make it..

3 Large Cooking Apples.
2 tbs granulated sugar.
Grated rind & juice of a Lemon.. unwaxed please!
1 tbs Water.
3 oz unsalted Butter.
3 oz caster Sugar.
1 Large Egg.
5 oz self-raising Flour.. sift this into a bowl with a pinch of salt
1 Clove.
2-3 tbs of Milk.
Thick cream Or PROPER Custard

Plus you need a 6" diameter pie dish and to preheat your oven to 375F or Gas mark 5.

And.. How to make it..

Peel and core the apples.
Cut them into thick slices, put them into a pan with granulated sugar, clove, lemon juice and water.
Cook until apples are only just soft.
Place them at the bottom of the pie dish.
Soften the butter with the lemon rind in a bowl, add the caster sugar and beat / work until the mix is light and fluffy.
Beat in the egg.
With a metal spoon, fold in the sifted flour.
*this avoids losing any of the air which you beat into the egg*
Stir in enough milk to give the mixture a 'dropping' consistency.
Spread this mix over the apples in the pie dish and bake for about 40 minutes.

I, meanwhile, am not in the best bit of her Black Book.

For, having been left to my own devices.. aka on my own for a short while when she went to load some laundry into wash machine, I hoisted my fat body up onto the shelf above where I normally play at 'chief destroyer of all things carboardy' and found.. oh, lookielookie.. two thermos flasks, a plastic measure and an industrial sized cheese grater.

She came back to YumYum HQ when she heard curious noises.. they were the noise of the before mentioned items hitting the floor, things do tend to 'move' when Beaky gives them a nudge or tap and these four items were no exception.. they flew off the shelf but unfortunately dropped to the floor like stones.

But I'm happy to tell you that the thermos liners survived, otherwise, I think, in fact, I'm pretty sure, I
would have been banished into bedroom, with door firmly closed between me and the rest of flat.. ugh.. I do hate it when she does that.

But as she has an Eve's Pudding in the oven and an appley-clovey smell wafting up her snitch, she's in a happy mood (thank goodness) and having checked the inside of the thermos, she just gave me one of those 'parental' looks and said these immortal words.. "Some mother's do 'ave 'em" and took a snap of me on my new perch.

So I live to fight another day.. infact, seeing those thermos fly and crash but not break their mirrored liners is, indeedy, a good enough reason to be chirpful! Don't you agree?

GeeGee Parrot.
January 12 th, 2016.

DID YOU HEAR THAT SQUEAL?

The good burghers of Fulham did! At 13.16 this afternoon, (to be precise) she stepped onto the scales and closed her eyes, she's such a wimp. And left it to Susan to tell her the news, which was the scales were registering a loss of 2.5lbs! And so her squeal was loud.. and very happy.

She's been doing this for six months now, her group are used to how silly she can be some but there were lots of smiles on other people faces who had a similar or greater weight loss. Then their 'leader' told them staggering news, that as a group in the last week, they had lost 81.5 lbs!

Now that, folks, is not shabby, one of her chums lost an amazing 8lbs, Caro couldn't believe it, she said she had been on her case all the time, however, she'd drunk a couple of glasses of red wine but had consumed no bread, she had eaten lots of steamed vegetables and drunk lots of water and yes, the waistband on her skirts and trousers were so much more comfortable!

My mama can't eat bread, it's like 'Catnip' to her. She's never eaten what she calls commercially baked sliced bread but a Polish Rye with seeds or a proper Sourdough, man, she'd bit your hand off if you came near her plate!

Now it doesn't cross the threshold of our home. Sad that, for I LURVE toasty crusts and used to enjoy crunchy munching on these every morning, but I haven't had one for over six months now, sigh.

After the group broke up, she came home via the market with springgreens, beetroots, a celeriac, onions and carrots. It looks to me as if it will a week with lots of vegetables.

Somewhere on iPad, she's got Daniela's recipe for pork sausages with fennel seeds, it's a Sicilian recipe, which is where Daniela was from and when she left London, she sweetly gave it to us. So she'll get the mincer out and make them this week, they're tasty and would be good with buckwheat and mushrooms.. slurpicious.

My next post is about a Bombe! Boom-chick-a-boom.. we cannot just eat boring buckwheat, can we? Let's have something naughty which must, in her reckoning, be either fattening, illegal or immoral!

See you later alligator.. in a while crocodile.. see you later..

GeeGee Parrot.
January 11th, 2016.

OUT WITH THE SMOOTHING IRON..

She's 'good' at ironing and once she has the iron, board and a jug of water with which to make the iron go 'WHOOSH' all together, she is quite happy to do it and today, as the ironing was getting beyond a joke, she tackled it and the humungeous mountain decreased steadily in height and width.

She is, however, not as quick nor as good as Gloria.. Gloria was a spectacular ironer, actually, it is correct to say Gloria was an ace house-keeper and our home, when she looked after it (and us) looked amazing.

But Gloria's mama became ill, she went home to Columbia to take care of the family, her mama died and she wrote saying that she was staying to take over the role as matriach of the family. She also wrote that she missed ME (most of all) and she'd taken in a little Amazon parrot.

Oh, we quite understood but here, in deepest Knightsbridge, there were several families who were sad. For she was SO special, so funny, so kind, just so lovely. She lived next door and whenever my mama went away, there was never a case of me having to go to jail, Gloria moved into our home and looked after me.

We had lots of fun.. for she loved to boogie whilst doing housework (ironing especially)! She'd put on latin american boogie music and I would fly around at high speed..screaming with delight. It is a very good thing that most of our neighbours are, and were, seldom in residence.. for those Elf and Sanity folks would have been around here in a nano-second!

Anyway, that's what has happened here today. She also sorted bed and table linens and said to herself "do I want this or shall I donate it?" A lot of this went on, she washed whatever she was giving away and put it to dry over a radiator, for you should not donate pretty things if they don't look fresh / are crumpled up, the person receiving them would put them into a 'Rag Bag', they don't have the time or the facilities to iron sheets or tablecloths.

She'll iron this stuff this week, then they'll go to one of the local charity shops. The stuff she's keeping was put away having been paired up with its' pillowcases or napkins.

Monday tomorrow, weigh-in scale time is at 13.00 hours, she has NO idea if she's lost or gained weight this last week, her trousers were loose even after gaining that 1.5lbs, so she no longer has that guide line to go by, but she hasn't eaten or drunk anything 'naughty', she's drunk lots of water, taken some exercise. Who knows, we will, when she comes back tomorrow afternoon.

There's a dreadful rumour floating about that she was seen running on Friday.. RUNNING! Good grief, as someone said "careful lass, the next thing we'll hear you've been seen jogging around Hyde Park", if she'd been wearing high heels, she'd have fallen over, for that was / is an extremely funny but highly, unlikely, thought.. I hope?

She's ready for the week.. an appointment on Tuesday at the hosital has been cancelled because of the doctors' strike and between you, me and the front door she's quite pleased, the specialist was going to repeat a proceedure that he did last October, it hurt, so old wimpy-herself will get a couple of weeks' grace, she hopes, maybe even longer?

We hope you're all ok? Pegeen has had a six year old munchkin staying with her, she's Pegeen's Grand-daughter and said 'it warmed her heart', without being too sacherine about it, WE think that is a lovely thing to say about having a little person to stay.

PipPip.. we're having an early night, did you see what time we went to bed last night? I think I did actually get on my perch before midnight, but only with a second or two to spare!

GeeGee Parrot.
January 10th, 2016.

Upon rising this morning..

I realised what's been a'buzzing in my bird-brain. It was our dustman pitching all that cardboard into the grinder. Now, I appreciate that generous 'gift' of the glorious fruit but, she forgot to ask him for some of that crunchy stuff which ole Beaky loves? She really must try harder..

Now, what about today? The sun is up and his torch is on quite a strong beam, there are several patches of blue sky, it's pale blue but at least it's blue. We have been covered in a sky the colour of which can only be described as murky Elephant breath grey-beige.

It is not a good look.. it's the colour that some demented interior designer told their (poor) clients was "just what you need to set off those .....", what dudu and utter rubbish! For grey-beige has never shown anything off to its' best advantage.

But we and a few.. huh, read lots of.. other people are not 'mad' about this person. Why? Well, nobody is fond of people who don't pay their bills or take things and then don't anti-up 'the reddies' and they're known to be guilty of this nasty habit.

And now onto something completely different..

Next month the utility bills will plop through your letter box or slither into your inbox on your computer. Are you dreading the arrival of your gas and electricity bills? Why? Do you not use your heating efficiently? Do you waste power? Think about these questions and act accordingly.

She's frugal with our heating. It is on low.. but our home is not cold. How is this managed?

On the inside of our front door, there hangs a thick curtain, the outer layer of which is a fabric by Ian Sanderson, it's made of pure wool, it is backed by a thick cotton lining and in between these two layers, is a layer of cotton 'bumph', a fabric almost as thick as a blanket but not quite.

On the two main windows, bedroom and sitting room, there are two full length blinds. Blinds are effective at stopping the cold.. dead. They're well worth fitting and you can make them yourself. The bedroom window also has a very fine gauze curtain that hangs against the actual window panes and the blind and on a sunny day, she opens the curtains and lifts the blind. The gauze prevents nosy-parkers seeing into our room but allows precious (and seldom seen in winter) daylight in!

She also wears socks.. she pads about with no shoes on but once the boiler goes on, so, too, on go socks.. and a sweater.. and when extra chilly-billy weather arrives, a skinny layer of thermal clothing goes on as well. Why waste money on heating when you've certainly got clothing in a drawer or a cupboard which you could wear and turn down the thermostat on your boiler?

Not only will your bank account benefit, so, too, will your health, skin and furniture! For wood hates heat.

Think about bills arriving in February and do something about it.. now. And, whilst you're practising being frugal, turn off those lights when you're not in a room. Cuddle a cat / put on a vest / eat tumtum warming food / put a parrot on your head.. don't just turn up the boiler!

It's an extremely 'chirpful' day today, for the sun is ris, the sky is blue, she's got a book and, I've got curd and a pomegranate.

GeeGee Parrot.
January 10th, 2016.

A FRUITFUL TALE OF FRUIT..

Got to be quick.. for it's late!

On her way to the library with WW walking along in the semi-dark this afternoon, it wasn't until she was almost on top of them that she saw the two boxes on the corner with lots of broken down cardboard boxes. Two boxes full of fruit.

The first box nearest to the curb was a box of Mandarins with leaves and the mesh, which keeps them in place, still covering the fruit. The second box, next to the cardboard boxes, was full of nine veryvery pomegranates, a pomelo and a papaya.

She was standing there, looking down at this extraordinary waste when the dustbin lorry turned up and out jumped 'her' dustman. He looked at her, smiled and said "hello lass, are you ok?". She smiled and said "I certainly am but I'm appalled at this waste", he shrugged his shoulders and said "nah, it ain't going to waste" and picking up the box of mandarins, he tipped it into WW and then did the same with the rest of the fruit.

"We see the most dreadful amount of waste, you would never believe what people throw away, even around the council estates, kids bikes, toys, clothes.. dreadful, innit, gud-night lass" and with that, he threw the big pile of cardboard boxes into the grinder and he and the dustbin lorry went off into the night.

She stood there, stunned, then continued through St.Luke's gardens to the library on the King's Road.

So this is how she had the mandarin to give to the librarian and why, her just cleaned YumYum HQ's cabinet doors look 'slightly' messy, for every self-respecting Parrot always gives their head a good shake when they've got a pomegranate seed in their Beaky, heehee, that red juice goes for miles!

Oh, there are several very tootie-fruitie days ahead for the two of us, yes, there will be much slurping-the-durp and I love papaya seeds, don't you? They're 'peppery' and quite delicious, if you have never eaten one, try one the next time you eat a papaya and see, it is a unique taste.

So there is a veryvery chirpful day ahead of us tomorrow, that's for sure.. Books.. Fruit.. MY Curd.. but now it is our bed time.

GeeGee Parrot.
January 9th, 2016.

'MRS JORDAN'S PROFESSION' by CLAIRE TOMALIN.. GIVE ME THE ODDS ON THIS!

Greetings from deepest Knightsbridge, the sky is dark, it is wet underfoot and she is silent.. I know, this is a most unusual state of affairs as she is known to have an opinion or something to say about most things.. however.. she does practise 'Restraint of tongue and pen' when evil people are lurking.

But this post will explain to you, Dear Readers, why she's silent, for two things occurred today, of which one, left her and one of the librarians speechless.

In my last post, I wrote about a woman who lived in the 18th century, she was a famous actress and her 'stage' name was Mrs. Jordan and she lived, for twenty years, under the protection of the Duke of Clarence by whom she had ten children.

The reason I wrote about her was that she died in penury as the result of vast debts being 'run up' in HER name by her son-in-law.

Yesterday, she read yesterday about two cases of financial fraud.

In the first case, the story is of a young couple, who were initially thought to have lost their deposit sum of £45,000 due to being duped by an email which was supposedly sent to them by the estate agent from whom they were buying a property.

Money was transferred but it was a scam, for someone had supposedly 'hacked' into the estate agents emails, found the correspondence about the deposit money being transferred and had slipped in one of their own emails giving a different bank account

And zoom.. the money disappeared.. they were, apparently, able to claw back £22,000 but the rest.. bye bye money.

The second case is a story being told by the ex-wife of a man who is 'wanted in connection' with the murder of a woman and two young boys, their three bodies were recently found in the garden of their home. He is alledged, by his ex-wife, to have run up debts in her name to the sum of £40,000.

She, having read these two cases, went on line and entered something into a search engine, she cannot remember what exactly, about 'debts being taken out in another person's name' and this is how she came to find the story of Mrs. Jordan.

One of the sources that is listed on the web about Mrs. Jordan, is a biography written by an author whose other books she has thoroughly enjoyed reading and she made a mental note to herself to see if her library stocked it. The book's title was.

Mrs Jordan's Profession by CLAIRE TOMALIN. Published in 1994 by Viking.

But she forgot to write the book's title down and she picked up the five library books which were being returned and put them into a big plastic bag, for it was tipping down with rain and you don't want any book to get wet, especially NOT a library book!

Off she and WW went, on the way to the library, something happened which I will write about in another post, just remember these details: a full box of mandarins, nine veryvery large pomegranates, a pomelo and a papaya.. strange, huh?

Upon reaching the library, she checked the books in through the system and turning to the librarian said. "Greetings to you and happy new year, have a mandarin, please would you do a search for me and see if there are any books on the actress Mrs Jordan, circa mid 1700's - 1816, because there's a biography on her but I can't remember the author's name".

Such an obliging man, he smiled at her and the mandarin, and going to the computer, he went into the book search and said "that's easy, Hammersmith have something on her, let's see if we can get them to transfer it over to our system for you", much typing went on, then he said "Oh, actually, we've got a book on her and it is in stock" and getting up from his chair, he went off in search of it.

The books that are returned back are received back by a machine which electronically removes that title from the reader's library account, the staff then collect them on a trolley and put them back into the right section, this trolley is kept close to the librarian's desk and she turned to see what books were on it that she might like to borrow.

And there.. was the very book for which he was looking! She could not believe her eyes.

What, Dear Reader, are the odds on that happening! If she had been in the library ten minutes earlier and not delayed by fruit.. I will tell you about this fruit, don't worry.. the book would have still been 'out on loan' and she wouldn't have it lying beside her as she taps this post.

She called out "I've got it here", he came back and said "I'm speechless (!) how amazing, it must have come in whilst I was at tea, what an extraordinary coincidence". They looked at each other and smiled. "And a happy new year to you and many thanks for the mandarin" he said, as she went off in search of more books to borrow.. she was also speechless!

Oooh, she does love a good book.. so do I but for a different reason.

It is a hideous fact that I cannot resist hardbacks, for their spines are, oh so, crunchy! But, you will be mighty relieved to know I've never crunched a library book, I cannot honestly say that I haven't thought about it but she's got these eyebrows, they're the same as Constance's and the sight of her raising just one is quite enough for me to have second thoughts about 'beaking' a library book.

And so tonight, with new books to read, we're aware that we are fortunate almost beyond belief, to be safe in a dry home, with electricity, food and clean running water, for there are hundreds of people in this country and many thousands, around the world, who are not.

It is a very sobering thought.

GeeGee Parrot.
January 9th, 2016.

PostScript: Claire Tomalin has written the following books.
The Life and Death of Mary Wollstonecraft.
Shelley and His World.
Katherine Mansfield: A Secret Life.
The Invisible Woman: The Story of Nelly Terman and Charles Dickens.

HOW CAN PEOPLE 'RUN' UP DEBTS IN ANOTHER PERSONS NAME, IF THEY FORGE THE OTHER PERSON'S SIGNATURE OR DETAILS.. WHY IS THE INNOCENT PERSON PENALISED AND MADE TO 'CARRY' THE DEBT?

Ooooh.. be prepared for this, folks, is something completely different to my normal posts.

Currently in the British newspapers is the unpleasant news of a woman and her two very young children who have been murdered. An ex-wife of the suspected murderer has come forward and told a newpaper that this man, her ex-husband, ran up debts amounting to £40,000 - $60,000 - in HER name.

We are, obviously very naive, for neither she nor I can fathom out how and why banks and the financial section of companies can AND do, allow this to happen? Yes, I know you can say "Oh, I am speaking for my wife / husband / whoever and they want to buy or borrow xxx and I will collect it / please transfer it to my bank account" but don't they check?

                                           AND IF THEY DON'T.. WHY NOT?

Or, are these financial institutions such money-grabbing bastards that they want to make their 'Pound of Flesh', read The Merchant of Venice by Wm. Shakespeare, and they really don't care about the legalities of transaction, singular or plural as long as they make money?

He ran up debts of £40,000.. in anyone's language, that's a fair chunk of money and yet, no one called or spoke to her or wrote to her asking for further details? Now.. Dear Readers.. because someone is, theoretically, innocent until proven guilty in our 'fair' land AND, we don't actually know if this was tale of the ex-wife is true because it 'might' be just talk.

BUT.. it does brings me to the the true and very sad tale of an extremely famous actress whose stage name was Mrs Jordan, 1761 - 1816. She was, for twenty years, 'under the protection' of the Duke of Clarence - King William 4th, 1830 -1837, they had ten children and lived together in Bushy House, a property given to the Duke of Clarence by the King.

But, under pressure from royal courtiers and other members of the royal famIly, in 1811 he ceased living with her and subsquently married Adelaide Saxe-Meiningen in 1818. He made a 'generous' financial settlement to Mrs. Jordan for her and their ten children - blimy, I should think so too.

But four years later, in 1815, a son-in-law of Mrs Jordan's ran up massive debts 'IN HER NAME' that caused her to have to flee England (what happened to the children?), she fled to France dying alone and penniless outside Paris in St.Cloud one year later in 1816 .. two hundred years ago.

The son-in-law forged her signature or stole and used legal documents for security which were in her name. He MUST have because, 200 years ago, there weren't magic electronic 'now you see it, now you don't bank accounts', the young 'bastard' - excuse my language but this has made her cross and remember, she gets to tap on iPad - must have gone into a bank and signed her name aka written HER signature infront of some half-witted bank official, who probably took a cut or commission on a most dodgiest of dodgy deals.

And folks, these dodgy deals are still going on! How was it that the young dealer, whose name she is not going to tap, was able to cause such damage, for does anyone out there remember Barings Bank?

Don't these banks or people do or have security checks? Obviously not. It makes us shudder at the incompetence of these institutions with whom we trust our pennies.

GeeGee Parrot.
January 9th, 2016.
PostScript: King William's four children born to Queen Adelaide did not survive infancy and this is how and why Princess Victoria became Queen.